# How important is it to you that your Holiday present be a complete surprise? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993 "2010-12-05T02:38:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/1 "2010-12-05T02:38:42Z")
My Husband asked me flat out what I was getting him for Christmas, and I told him, and now he’s miffed that he knows. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/2 "2010-12-05T02:40:47Z")
Well, that was a dumb thing for him to do, wasn’t it? I prefer my gifts to be surprises when possible, but because this is my preference, I do not go snooping around the house looking for my gifts, nor do I ask MrWhatsit for hints, etc. Sometimes he’ll need my input on a gift he’s thinking of getting me (what color, or what size, or something else) and then it’s not a surprise of course, but that’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/3 "2010-12-05T02:54:30Z")
There should be a third choice. My mom is famous for giving gifts early. My holiday is not by any means ruined, but it would be nice to have something to open when everyone else is opening gifts. Mom, just for once, would it be that hard to wait?! ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/4 "2010-12-05T03:00:03Z")
I would prefer not to know but it doesn’t ruin Christmas if I find out. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/5 "2010-12-05T03:01:33Z")
Same as Pai. I like the surprise, but knowing won’t bother me. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/6 "2010-12-05T03:08:37Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Well, that was a dumb thing for him to do, wasn’t it? Yeah, he’s weird like that sometimes. He had a relatively poor childhood where sometimes the only gifts they got were the ones from the welfare office. I think now he has this odd idealized goal for what a “normal” family’s Christmas is. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/7 "2010-12-05T03:20:17Z")
Can’t vote for either option. I have a preference for the surprise, but have had many a Christmas where at least something got revealed beforehand, and no dire consequences have resulted. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/8 "2010-12-05T03:21:46Z")
Yeah, me too. I care, but just barely. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/9 "2010-12-05T03:23:11Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Can’t vote for either option. I have a preference for the surprise, but have had many a Christmas where at least something got revealed beforehand, and no dire consequences have resulted. > [@pravnik](#): > > Yeah, me too. I care, but just barely. Hmm. Thought these opinions would be covered by the “I have no problem knowing” option. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/10 "2010-12-05T03:23:14Z")
Hell, if I _got_ one, it would be a surprise. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/11 "2010-12-05T03:51:30Z")
I told my SO early on in our relationship that I never wanted to know, how much I ask. So now we have a great time - he buys me things, and hides them and then wraps them and puts them under the tree, and I have a great time shaking them and guessing what they might be and begging for hints, which he won’t give. It’s become a game. He would prefer just to tell me what he wants. But we have an understanding. I told him never to tell me, and he never does. ---
**Author:** ![QuercusMax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/8baadc/32.png) [@QuercusMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuercusMax)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/12 "2010-12-05T03:59:08Z")
Heh. Surprises? What are those? My wife is absolutely terrible at surprising me. Partly because I’m really good at guessing, and also because she has a terrible poker face. Also because I’m tough to buy for, since I don’t normally want a whole lot. This year, for example, I know what I’m getting. Several months ago, we discussed getting a surround sound system for our living room with year-end-bonus money if it’s good. So, a couple weeks ago, my wife asks me how much she’s allowed to spend on my Christmas present, and gives me a range of what she was thinking. Being the great detective I am, I ask her if that’s what it is, and she can’t keep a straight face and gets (fake) mad at me for guessing. The only time I’ve really been surprised by a gift from my wife was back when we were dating, and she gave me the Back to the Future DVD box set. I was surprised and puzzled (although not displeased), and she said, “but you asked for it!”. Turns out it was supposed to be for her sister. But it was a great gift. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/13 "2010-12-05T04:08:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I told my SO early on in our relationship that I never wanted to know, how much I ask. How come you didn’t vote in the poll? I feel kind of bad that the “OMG” category has no love. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/14 "2010-12-05T04:09:39Z")
I think it’s great if it’s a surprise, but I don’t mind at all if I know ahead of time. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/15 "2010-12-05T04:20:54Z")
I’d rather not get them at all, but otherwise I don’t really care if I know. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/16 "2010-12-05T05:05:45Z")
I greatly prefer not knowing. I never have snooped or tried to find out what a gift is, and I get really aggravated if I’ve gotten a gift for someone and they badger me to tell them what it is. I don’t think it would ruin Christmas for me if I did know. A few times I have known, for one reason or another. > [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](#): > > My mom is famous for giving gifts early. Could you not put it aside and open it when you want to? ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/17 "2010-12-05T13:37:41Z")
My mom never wraps, either, so it’s kind of hard to put things aside for later. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/18 "2010-12-05T14:10:14Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > How come you didn’t vote in the poll? I feel kind of bad that the “OMG” category has no love. I think your poll is kind of lopsided. While I (and most people I know) prefer not to know, they’re not going to think Christmas is ruined if they do, because they aren’t 5. It’s like asking whether you prefer grape jam or cherry, where one option is “I prefer grape” and the other is “my life is ruined if I don’t get cherry.” Add the OMG, and you make that answer even more distasteful. I prefer not to know, but I do occasionally ask… jokingly. My husband’s the same way. That being said, I usually have an idea what someone is getting me based on hints and whether they’ve asked for ideas. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/19 "2010-12-05T14:57:22Z")
> [@Pullet](#): > > Yeah, he’s weird like that sometimes. He had a relatively poor childhood where sometimes the only gifts they got were the ones from the welfare office. I think now he has this odd idealized goal for what a “normal” family’s Christmas is. Buy him something else as well. Something fun that he would like. A Rubik’s cube, a Bop-it, one of those retro all-in-one Atari video games, or even a Nintendo DS. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993/20 "2010-12-05T15:17:33Z")
I prefer not to know. My husband is the only person who gets me a gift, and before we were married I went years without anybody getting me anything, other than Secret Santa office gift exchanges. Like **Pullet** ’s husband, I think this made me a little more sensitive to the idea of having a “normal” Christmas, and while I don’t want to put pressure on my husband to overspend or run his tail off chasing down gifts for me, it is important to me to know that he has spent time thinking about what I might like. If we go out next weekend and buy me a pair of expensive earrings or something, I’m sure I would like them and be grateful, but Christmas morning would seem kind of flat. I’d rather have less expensive things to open that he made some effort to surprise me with. I’m the only person he gets gifts for too. I want to be surprised. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-important-is-it-to-you-that-your-holiday-present-be-a-complete-surprise/562993.md?page=2)