# How in the world would you handle this friend/girlfriend situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983 "2005-06-27T03:00:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/81 "2005-07-05T15:02:57Z")
> [@Rashak Mani](#): > > hhmm… people are being to polite here… besides calling and kissing her… _Fuck her brains out !_ Good sex is the basis of all healthy long term relationships. 😛 And to think all this time I thought Rashak was a gentleman 😃 guess he’s be a very clear gentleman too. ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/82 "2005-07-05T15:12:34Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Does anyone else suspect that this whole thread is a cleverly contrived **wasson** whoosh? > > I’m starting to get pissed at him. Was this really called for? What on earth would make you feel this way? If you have THAT much of a problem, open a pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/83 "2005-07-05T15:58:27Z")
> [@PinkMarabou](#): > > Was this really called for? What on earth would make you feel this way? If you have THAT much of a problem, open a pit thread. My error. Sorry. Didn’t see his progress reports. ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/84 "2005-07-05T16:12:53Z")
> [@](#): > > My error. Sorry. > > Didn’t see his progress reports. Ya know, as I was typing out the “made out with a random girl at a strip club a day before I was going to ask out my best friend on a date” reply, I thought “there’s no way people are gonna buy this. It sounds too much like a soap opera.” But I can assure it, it’s all true. For a guy who lives a relatively uneventful life, this weekend was chock-full of weird events and emotions. But I wouldn’t have traded any second of it. Let me reiterate just so my fellow Dopers aren’t feeling used and abused for the time they wasted on me and my insecurities… this whole story has been absolutely true, and I absolutely appreciate the comments and a extra bit of confidence I gained from reading them. The date is the day after tomorrow, and I’m feeling pretty excited, anxious, and maybe a tad nervous about it. Which is weird, since I’ve known her forever and hang out with her a couple times a week. I’ll be sure to give a full update. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/85 "2005-07-05T16:37:44Z")
Funny how you can know someone 10 years, and still have no clue what’s going on in their head. Great to hear the good news bro, keep up the good work! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/86 "2005-07-05T16:51:51Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Funny how you can know someone 10 years, and still have no clue what’s going on in their head. Yeah, even when they tell you that they want to marry you and they’re in love with you, it can still be astonishing when they accept your offer of a date! 😃 I kid, I kid; I got the same blind-spot that you have, **wasson**. Congratulations on seeing through it! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![joazito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@joazito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joazito)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/87 "2005-07-05T16:56:01Z")
I must say I can hardly wait for Thursday to read your next report. BTW, I’m in a relationship with someone who was my friend for 10 years before turning into romance. It’s really good to have a friend for a lover, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![joazito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@joazito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joazito)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/88 "2005-07-05T16:58:08Z")
> [@joazito](#): > > I must say I can hardly wait for Thursday to read your next report. Hmm… make that Friday 😉 ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/89 "2005-07-05T17:02:20Z")
Gah, I’m jealous! Good on 'ya for getting that over with. Now if I can just find a girl that I am interested enough in to be nervous about asking her out… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/90 "2005-07-05T17:03:37Z")
> [@wasson](#): > > \I think I can take it from here. Thanks again for all the help and gentle nudges. Just 1 more question… should I bring flowers, or is that silly and sappy? Aw, man, how can we all live vicariously through you if you cut us off now? If you’re picking her up at her house, bring a nice bouquet that she can put in water right away. If not, go with a single flower. Rule of thumb - no gifts that anyone would give on one of those stupid date shows. (I’m saying they’re stupid - I’m not saying I don’t watch them. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/91 "2005-07-05T19:02:54Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > And to think all this time I thought Rashak was a gentleman 😃 guess he’s be a very clear gentleman too. Hey, I only do it to see women screaming with joy and orgasms… 😉 That is being a gentleman. Wasson… don’t take more than 1 FLOWER please… don’t be too sappy yet. I wouldn’t take any in fact… take some chocolates or something smallish. I hate formality though. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/92 "2005-07-05T20:18:59Z")
I agree with **RickJay** that you don’t want to be lugging a dozen roses around all night. One trick that I’ve found successful in my (single) past is to get one rose and have the florest put it in one of those little plastic water tubes (not sure what their called, but they look like a little plastic test tube that fits onto the end of the stem), so that it can last several hours. Slip it under the seat of your car where she can’t see it. Go on your date. At the end of the night, when you drop her off home (or bring her back to your place, whichever way it goes) wait until she starts to get out of the car (and isn’t looking at you), slip it out from under your seat and into your jacket. Walk her to her door. When you pause to say good night, say that you have something for her. Pull it out and present it to her. See, IMO, women expect flowers when you arrive at their door (meaning they are not suprised if you have them then). But getting flowers at the end of the date comes as a wonderful suprise. and her thank you can often lead to other wonderful things… ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/93 "2005-07-05T20:21:11Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > (not sure what their called, their = they’re = they are… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/94 "2005-07-05T20:31:19Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > See, IMO, women expect flowers when you arrive at their door (meaning they are not suprised if you have them then). But getting flowers at the end of the date comes as a wonderful suprise. and her thank you can often lead to other wonderful things… Great suggestion ! Flowers in the beggining might be too much… at the end ? Perfect ! ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/95 "2005-07-05T21:09:31Z")
Okay, so I think the plan is dinner at a nice local steakhouse (reservations have already been made), then I’m going to propose a nice carriage ride downtown. The carriages can’t be reserved, but they run pretty constantly. It’s kind of cheeseball-romantic, but I do want to drive the point home that this is a REAL date, and I’m interested in her romantically instead of just as buds. Is the carriage ride/fancy restaurant too stuff/formal/cheeseball, or is that appropriate? > [@](#): > > One trick that I’ve found successful in my (single) past is to get one rose and have the florest put it in one of those little plastic water tubes (not sure what their called, but they look like a little plastic test tube that fits onto the end of the stem), so that it can last several hours. > > Slip it under the seat of your car where she can’t see it. Go on your date. At the end of the night, when you drop her off home (or bring her back to your place, whichever way it goes) wait until she starts to get out of the car (and isn’t looking at you), slip it out from under your seat and into your jacket. Walk her to her door. When you pause to say good night, say that you have something for her. Pull it out and present it to her. Absolutely, positively genius. I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/96 "2005-07-05T21:34:57Z")
> [@wasson](#): > > Okay, so I think the plan is dinner at a nice local steakhouse (reservations have already been made), then I’m going to propose\. I’m sorry, is that out of context? 😉 Okay, flower at the end of the date is a great idea. As for your ideas being too cheeseball? I don’t think so. If you want to do these things because you want her to feel special, then nothing is too cheeseball. ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/97 "2005-07-05T21:51:14Z")
**EarthStone777** , that’s a GREAT idea! **wasson** , I think the carriage ride will be a wonderful touch and I don’t think it’s over the top or too cheesball. In fact, that is very romantic. Aren’t you glad you have all of us to help you out?? 😉 😃 Good luck Thursday and WE WANT DETAILS (not the icky stuff of course . . . on second thought, I know how we all think, so icky stuff is welcome too)!!! ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/98 "2005-07-06T13:13:21Z")
Hey ! I want the icky stuff too… in detail ! I pay for my subscription in the SMDB ! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Izzybella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Izzybella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Izzybella)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/99 "2005-07-06T19:54:41Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > Slip it under the seat of your car where she can’t see it. Go on your date. At the end of the night, when you drop her off home (or bring her back to your place, whichever way it goes) wait until she starts to get out of the car (and isn’t looking at you), slip it out from under your seat and into your jacket. Walk her to her door. When you pause to say good night, say that you have something for her. Pull it out and present it to her. > …[/size] This is a great idea. Just a caveat though. If the weather is gawd-awful hot and nasty you might not want to leave it in the car for any length of time as (even with the nifty test-tubey water thing) the rose might get all limpy. You might check with the florist and see if they have any suggestions for keeping it pretty and fresh till the end of your date. Have much fun on your date and I wish you many smoochies!! ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983/100 "2005-07-07T14:01:01Z")
I’m picking her up in about 9 hours. Any last minute words of wisdom/advice? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-in-the-world-would-you-handle-this-friend-girlfriend-situation/309983.md?page=6)