# How insulting was this buyer? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2018, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417 "2018-08-28T17:26:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/21 "2018-08-28T23:14:44Z")
It seems at least potentially rude to me. The question has an undertone of saying, “you screwed me over by some amount, and I want to know by how much.” Tone and delivery could matter, I guess, but it could easily come across as looking to establish a grievance. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2018, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/22 "2018-08-28T23:16:46Z")
Not rude or insulting. Don’t negotiate if you take such things to heart. Don’t answer the question either, or say something like “I was going to give it away for free if you didn’t take it”. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/23 "2018-08-29T02:20:16Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > I examined the truck, set a price of $500 O.B.O. and posted it for sale. I told my sister that I would accept the first $300 offer that came through the door Wait a minute. $300 for a truck? What kind of truck do I get for 300 bucks? ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/24 "2018-08-29T02:26:42Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Wait a minute. $300 for a truck? What kind of truck do I get for 300 bucks? '89 GMC Sonoma with 200k+ miles. Engine was in very rough shape - starting it was hit or miss at best, it struggled to make highway speed, and the smell of unburned fuel was strong. It needed a lot of work on the front end/steering components. Steering was butt clenchingly vague and it severely vibrated above 40M.P.H. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/25 "2018-08-29T02:41:47Z")
Just socially awkward. Like asking a girl out and being refused then coming back and asking her how could you could have done it better to get a yes. Everyone want to know thae answer but there is no answer. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/26 "2018-08-29T02:45:29Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > '89 GMC Sonoma with 200k+ miles. Engine was in very rough shape - starting it was hit or miss at best, it struggled to make highway speed, and the smell of unburned fuel was strong. It needed a lot of work on the front end/steering components. Steering was butt clenchingly vague and it severely vibrated above 40M.P.H. Heh. That’s about what I thought. I do love me a beater car. Only a couple bucks more than free, pound the living shit out of it for a summer, pawn it off on someone else in October. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/27 "2018-08-29T03:00:35Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > It would seem strange to me to assume there’s any consistency whatsoever in what private sellers are willing to part with their vehicles with. Certainly knowing the market value of a product is useful when you’re trying to buy something, but with privately sold used vehicles like this I very much doubt that there _is_ a post-negotiation market value. I don’t think he was trying to read you as a seller. He’s never going to buy any thing else from you (and if he was likely to buy something else from you, you would be crazy to have answered his question). I think he was trying to find out how well he had done as a buyer. He presumably had pushed you to what he felt was the best price he thought he could get. This was based on how he read you. After the sale was over, he wanted to know if he had read you correctly or if he could have pushed for more. The transaction between you was over so it wouldn’t affect that. But he’d have more knowledge for future negotiations he was on with other people; he’d know more about his ability to read sellers. It wasn’t a rude question but you were under no obligation to answer it. I will say that if you had chosen to answer him, you should have done so honestly. You had no reason to harm him by giving him a false impression of his negotiating skills. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/28 "2018-08-29T06:06:02Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Not rude or insulting. I actually admire the guy for asking. Most people don’t of course, but there’s no harm in knowing if you could have done better. > > I don’t know how you answered, but if it were me, I’d have said something like, “I had another $x wiggle room, but would have held out a few more days for the best offer. By the way, what was your max price?” Yes. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I don’t think he was trying to read you as a seller. He’s never going to buy any thing else from you (and if he was likely to buy something else from you, you would be crazy to have answered his question). > > I think he was trying to find out how well he had done as a buyer. He presumably had pushed you to what he felt was the best price he thought he could get. This was based on how he read you. After the sale was over, he wanted to know if he had read you correctly or if he could have pushed for more. The transaction between you was over so it wouldn’t affect that. But he’d have more knowledge for future negotiations he was on with other people; he’d know more about his ability to read sellers. > > It wasn’t a rude question but you were under no obligation to answer it. I will say that if you had chosen to answer him, you should have done so honestly. You had no reason to harm him by giving him a false impression of his negotiating skills. And yes. The poker bluff analogy fails because this buyer will probably never negotiate with you again. I wish I’d had the gumption to better hone my own negotiating skills. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/29 "2018-08-29T09:04:59Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > My sister had a used truck for sale and she offered me a 25% commission if I handled all the details. I examined the truck, set a price of $500 O.B.O. and posted it for sale. I told my sister that I would accept the first $300 offer that came through the door and she approved. Two days later, I meet with a potential buyer, the truck is examined again, we haggle a bit, agree on a price, shake hands, cash paid, receipt, title and bill-of-sale all signed - deal done as far as I was concerned. > > At this point the buyer asked “What was your real minimum price? How low could I have gotten you down if I had been a bit better negotiator and a bit more persistent?” > > Honestly, IMHO, that’s kind of a rude question and none of the buyer’s business. I replied in a non-committal way but I honestly don’t think I owed him an answer to that question. How far out of line was this person? “It’s not my job to help you be a better cheapskate. Zark off.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/30 "2018-08-29T09:14:03Z")
Mark me down as another who would have given the guy a bonus by saying, “Well, I actually didn’t plan on coming down to where you got me.” No skin off my nose if the guy goes away feeling good about the deal. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/31 "2018-08-29T10:42:05Z")
In [this scene from a famous movie](https://youtu.be/KWbi-Lq1P28?t=1m49s), negotiators admit to other possible prices after agreement, though I’ll guess neither absolute max nor min was revealed. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/32 "2018-08-29T11:35:26Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Rude. He was trying to reopen negotiations, even \*after \*the handshake, to beat the price down further. You could have told him to screw if he persisted, but politely cutting it off and going ahead with the close was the better option. Nah, I mean I wasn’t there, but the title and bill of sale had been handed over and the OP had cash in hand. It sounds to me like he was just curious to know how much lower the OP would’ve gone and/or making some small talk. Personally, I would have said either 'I was aiming for just around that price" or “Another $50 dollars or so was the bare minimum I set it my head”. That way, regardless of what you sold it to him for, he doesn’t feel ripped off and you don’t feel like bad for making him feel bad (ie if you sold it for $450, don’t him you would’ve taken $250). Like others said, you don’t owe him anything, other than to not be a jackass about it (Which you weren’t so far as I can tell). ---
**Author:** ![Emergency911](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/43a26b/32.png) [@Emergency911](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emergency911)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/33 "2018-08-29T14:39:17Z")
It’s no big deal to me to be asked that, then again, I don’t sell a lot of stuff, so letting the buyer know most likely wouldn’t be a problem for me. I think I would have told him that my lowest price was a little over what he paid, just to make him feel better about it. Then again, I am a smart aleck by nature. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/34 "2018-08-29T15:12:23Z")
Another who doesn’t consider it rude. I have been asked that question at times and my usual response is to quote a figure a little higher “you just struck me as a good person and I can take the hit” kind of thing. Give them a sense that they “won” since clearly to them it was a competition and not just a purchase. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/35 "2018-08-29T20:44:37Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I don’t think he was trying to read you as a seller. He’s never going to buy any thing else from you (and if he was likely to buy something else from you, you would be crazy to have answered his question). > > I think he was trying to find out how well he had done as a buyer. He presumably had pushed you to what he felt was the best price he thought he could get. This was based on how he read you. After the sale was over, he wanted to know if he had read you correctly or if he could have pushed for more. The transaction between you was over so it wouldn’t affect that. But he’d have more knowledge for future negotiations he was on with other people; he’d know more about his ability to read sellers. > > It wasn’t a rude question but you were under no obligation to answer it. I will say that if you had chosen to answer him, you should have done so honestly. You had no reason to harm him by giving him a false impression of his negotiating skills. Learning that you actually hate the car and would have paid him to tow it off if he’d been pushier won’t improve his negotiation skills, because if he’s dumb enough to ask this question then he’d take the wrong message from your answer. With this sale he should push harder, but not all negotiations are with people who respond well to pushiness. What the guy needs is not to learn he wasn’t pushy enough, it’s to learn to read people better (and/or collect better intel in advance) - and nothing you tell him can possibly help you with that. So you might as well tell him that he was the god of negotiation, or tell him that he way overpaid - it won’t make any difference to his negotiation skills either way. ---
**Author:** ![EscAlaMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/escalamike/32/4177_2.png) [@EscAlaMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EscAlaMike)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/36 "2018-08-29T21:18:05Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > It’s kind of the same as asking the poker player what he was holding after you already folded. If they actually tell you, it’s good info for your next hand (or negotiation, in your case). This is the exact analogy I was thinking of. I would find it a bit invasive if somebody asked me that after the deal was done, and I don’t think I would tell them. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2018, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/37 "2018-08-29T21:39:07Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Mark me down as another who would have given the guy a bonus by saying, “Well, I actually didn’t plan on coming down to where you got me.” No skin off my nose if the guy goes away feeling good about the deal. Yeah, this. I’da gone into a sob story about how you didn’t want to go that low, and your sister was a bitch and making you do her grunt work, and how much time you wasted for nothing. I’d have conned him into buying me a case of beer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/38 "2018-08-30T01:41:03Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Wait a minute. $300 for a truck? What kind of truck do I get for 300 bucks? I bought a truck for $400 once. Burned oil, gears kinda iffy, upholstery shot. Got me around for a year when I was poor. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/39 "2018-08-30T02:16:35Z")
no insulting is when you pay 300 dollars and the seller says something like " wow you paid 300 dollars for it ? I I got lucky cause I was going to have it hauled off for junk tomorrow" implying youre a sucker ……. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2018, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417/40 "2018-08-30T06:59:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > When my gf heard her brother wanted the truck, she messaged him and dropped the price to “gift”. I am now due 50% of $0. Oh well. **kayaker** , you got took! You should have renegotiated to at least 75% to cover all your time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-insulting-was-this-buyer/820417.md?page=3)