I likely type/write more intelligently than I talk. I don’t really care for talking, so that plays a big part of it…
I used to take some flak for using “big words.” And I can attest to the fact that there are folks out there without an extensive education, and defensive about it, who will assume that you consider yourself superior to them. In that vein I try to be mindful of it.
It can work a different way as well.
My husband appreciates the company of the janitor who cleans his office. They have many intersts in common and the guy is just plain a nice guy. And they do have a dissimilar background.
One day my husband used a word his friend didn’t understand and asked for a definition. The next time he was in the office he used the word in a playful way. And this became a game with them. Every day he’d come in and ask, “What’s the word for the day?” Then my husband would hear him in various areas of the building using his new word with others.
Like many other people in this thread apparently, I was a voracious reader as a child and would use uncommon/big words and oddly formal phrasing all the time. I’ve never had a problem making friends, but I feel like I come off as a pretentious asshole when someone doesn’t understand what I’m saying. Now, I try to scale my vocab to that of the people I’m talking to, so most of the time I use simple language.
I also use plenty of slang, curse words, and ‘grammatically incorrect’ phrasing as befits a 25-year-old with bluecollar jobs, but apparently I still come across to everyone as smart and super-nerdy.
I make an effort to adjust my speech to suit the people I’m speaking to. I will admit that I enjoy showing off a bit from time to time, but I value clarity far too much to sacrifice it on the altar of vanity. One thing remains constant, however, regardless of the vocabulary I use: I try to speak with precision. Even simple words can convey shades of meaning if you use them carefully.
Most people seem reasonably comfortable with my style; some have commented that they find it unusual, but that they enjoy it. I believe that the closest thing I’ve heard to a complaint was a comment that I sounded like a character from a very old book, which I took to mean that my manner of speech struck someone as archaic.
My technical jargon anecdote…
I’m an engineer. A coworker and I were giving a technical presentation to Japanese customers who did not speak English all that well. I tried to, I won’t say dumb it down, but keep my technical explanations simple. The Japanese customers commented that they were able to basically understand everything I was saying. My coworker, on the other hand, spoke exactly like he would have if he were speaking to an American professional engineer. He used all the jargon and spoke pretty quickly. The Japanese customers admitted to not understanding half of what he was saying. So what conclusion did they draw? He must be a genius and I must be a dummy.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!
I only laugh because I am one of those friends, and I have never known you not to talk much. Even in front of strangers.