# How Is A 'Wet Willy' So Different From Rape? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 29, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484 "2003-09-29T15:07:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/1 "2003-09-29T15:07:04Z")
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a ‘wet willy’ is a procedure typically performed by children whereby the perpetrator sneaks up behind the victim, moistens his or her pinky fingers by licking them, then proceeds to shove them into the victim’s ears. So here we have a procedure that involves the use of an appendage to perform forcible penetration of up to 2 orifices, accompanied by a transference of bodily fluids-- exactly what you would have with rape. But even though these 2 concepts are essentially identical, our society has a vastly different perception of them. One thing is viewed as the worst thing you can possibly do to a person short of killing them, while the other is viewed a harmless joke that school children play on one another. I know some of you will try to argue that rape is inherently different because it carries the risk of pregnancy. But would these people contend that a woman who is post-menopausal who gets raped is getting no more than a wet willy? I doubt it. Besides, the pregnancy risk can be eliminated by taking emergency contraceptive within 72 hours of the event. Others would argue that rape is much worse because of the disease potential. But would these people say that the rape is no big deal if a condom was used, or if the victim didn’t get any diseases? So exactly what is the logic behind the vast difference in our society’s perceptions of the criminality and victimization level between a rape and a wet willy? Which level of response would be appropriate in order to be consistent-- should we treat wet willy victims like we do rape victims, or should we treat rape victims like we do wet willy victims?? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/2 "2003-09-29T15:09:53Z")
Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/3 "2003-09-29T15:16:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\*So exactly what is the logic behind the vast difference in our society’s perceptions of the criminality and victimization level between a rape and a wet willy? Which level of response would be appropriate in order to be consistent-- should we treat wet willy victims like we do rape victims, or should we treat rape victims like we do wet willy victims?? > > Thanks. \*\* I think you’ve got a point. Say I get drunk, and I hit someone. I hit him with my hand, I hit him with my car…what difference does it make? I still just hit him- same mechanism, me striking him with a blunt object. How come if I hit him with my hand I get to spend a lot less time in jail than if I hit him with my car? That’s not consistant! ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/4 "2003-09-29T15:18:20Z")
One is assault. The other is sexual assault. Does that clear it up for you? ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/5 "2003-09-29T15:21:54Z")
Well, you could have both acts performed on your person. That’d be the best way to determine the differences for yourself. Give it a shot. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/6 "2003-09-29T15:23:32Z")
The answers so far haven’t been helpful. An alien visitor would probably not understand the difference, but we all know about the emotional baggage that goes along with sexual intercourse. That’s the difference. Social customs. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/7 "2003-09-29T15:23:39Z")
**minty green** -"\*One is assault. The other is sexual assault. Does that clear it up for you?\*" Not really. I don’t see any point in distinguishing between something that is ‘sexual’ vs. something that isn’t. What difference does it make if the person doing it is getting off from it? ---
**Author:** ![lemon\_yellow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3e96dc/32.png) [@lemon\_yellow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lemon_yellow)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/8 "2003-09-29T15:26:23Z")
Having your ears violated is not the same thing. This could accidentally happen in public. Are you being obtuse? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/9 "2003-09-29T15:28:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lemon yellow \* > \*\* Are you being obtuse? \*\* Endlessly. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/10 "2003-09-29T15:30:36Z")
A wet willy leaves no physical scars and basically no psychological scars either. Most kids and adults don’t regard getting there ears wet as anything more than an annoyance, certainly not a major violation of there person. Rape generally involves severe coercion, often with the threat of physical violence. It often involves actual physical violence. The victim is traumatized and humiliated to an incredible degree and is often severely injured. I can’t believe this needs to be explained. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/11 "2003-09-29T15:34:44Z")
The OP title and the OPer’s nickname are extremely complementary. Sua ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/12 "2003-09-29T15:44:39Z")
What **Larry** said - generally speaking, you can’t sneak up on someone and quickly rape them without them noticing - it involves continued force and violation of consent, plus genital interference - unlike the ears, the genitals are considered deeply private by most people. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/13 "2003-09-29T15:46:47Z")
I don’t think poking somebody’s ears with your pinkies will cause huge amounts of pain. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/14 "2003-09-29T15:47:09Z")
**Larry Borgia** - “_Rape generally involves severe coercion, often with the threat of physical violence. It often involves actual physical violence. The victim is traumatized and humiliated to an incredible degree and is often severely injured._” When you use terms like ‘generally’ and ‘often’ it seems as if you can’t come up with an _inherent_ difference between the 2 acts. Is there an inherent difference? If there is no inherent difference, then cleary they _could_ be equivalent, depending on the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![lemon\_yellow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3e96dc/32.png) [@lemon\_yellow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lemon_yellow)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/15 "2003-09-29T15:48:07Z")
and what would those circumstances be? he regrets asking ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/16 "2003-09-29T15:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Not really. I don’t see any point in distinguishing between something that is ‘sexual’ vs. something that isn’t. > > What difference does it make if the person doing it is getting off from it? It makes no difference whether the person committing the action is “getting off on it.” (There are probably some odd people out there who could “get off” on inflicting a “wet willy.”) The perspective taken is that of the victim. There are two aspects of sex that set it off from other human activities: the ability to procreate and the ability to engender intimacy. There is a fair amount of specualtion that the second trait is an evolutionary development to ensure that children are raised after the first trait has done its work. However, while such speculations regarding the roles of sexuality and intimacy are not proven, they are addressing a very clearly recognized human emotional state. While you may not see a point in distinguishing between sexual activities and activities not related to sexuality, the reality is that humans do see such a point. Any activity that will be perceived as sexual will raise similar negative reactions whenever it is _imposed_ on another person. Just as the _sight_ of different parts of the body has been able to arouse lust in people of one cultural setting while failing to arouse even a mild interest among peoples of a different cultural setting who maintained different standards of which body parts should be covered, the definitions of _sexual_ may change from culture to culture. However, any action that employs (or mimics) the activity of a sexual organ is probably going to be regarded as sexual in all societies. Fingertips and ears are not regarded as _primarily_ sexual in our society, so we do not consider a childish prank to be of the same nature as sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![Tigers2B1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc29f/32.png) [@Tigers2B1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tigers2B1)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/17 "2003-09-29T15:51:56Z")
If I touch anyone on a sweaty day without their express consent I might run into the same comparisons. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/18 "2003-09-29T15:53:25Z")
In what circumstances would you find having an erect penis forcibly, repeatedly shoved into your nether regions equivalent to having a pinkie in your ear for a split second? ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/19 "2003-09-29T15:56:44Z")
**lemon yellow** - “_and what would those circumstances be?_” If, say, neither resulted in pregnancy, getting a disease, other physical violence or threats thereof, and both caused equal amounts of physical pain. Wouldn’t they be the same then? ---
**Author:** ![lemon\_yellow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3e96dc/32.png) [@lemon\_yellow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lemon_yellow)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484/20 "2003-09-29T16:01:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\* > > If, other physical violence or threats thereof, and both caused equal amounts of physical pain. > > \*\* huh?😕 now your just being ridiculous. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-a-wet-willy-so-different-from-rape/204484.md?page=2)