# How is it a warnable offense to express appreciation for a public figure’s sexiness? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [January 5, 2019, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241 "2019-01-05T05:35:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/21 "2019-01-05T07:24:50Z")
It seems pretty straightforward to me. There’s nothing wrong _per se_ with talking about who you’d like to fuck, and there are plenty of other places you can do that. But the majority of the SDMB community have decided they don’t want this to be one of those places, because we want the community to be inclusive, and that kind of thing is offputting for a lot of people. I don’t see how this is any different from real life, where consensus social convention dictates an appropriate time and place for different types of conversation. Unless you have some cogent argument why talking about sexual fantasies needs to be an integral part of a board that’s primarily about fighting ignorance, why not just accept that and not be a jerk about it? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/22 "2019-01-05T07:28:52Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I had no idea there was a whole “misogyny”\* imbroglio going on until after I got the warning and someone PMed me about it. Yes. I too am confused how you did not know there was an “imbroglio” going on about misogyny when you clearly participated in the “imbroglio”. It’s almost as if you admit that you are lying and trolling. But I would not dare make such an accusation about you my good Doper for that would be wrong. No, I would not and thus have not. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/23 "2019-01-05T07:29:08Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I didn’t see anything “deliberately sexy” about the original video.She’s mostly just spinning around and having a good time like the other students. If this were actually true, or if I had just started commenting on her body without this video being out there, you’d have a definite point. But it’s absurd to say that her pose at the beginning of the video (against the wall), combined with the tight clothing choice, wasn’t meant to be sexy. Come ON. :rolleyes: And I’m not shaming her for this! If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Good for her. > [@mhendo](#): > > And yet, less than a month ago, you made 7 posts in a [thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=866463&page=3) titled **“The ongoing problem with misogyny on the SDMB.”** That was whining about a supposed “hijack” of a thread about genital mutilation, where they wanted male genital mutilation to be a forbidden topic. Forgive me if I didn’t make a remote mental connection between that and this. (Feel free to cite any of those seven posts and show how they have anything to do with “lechery” or any kind of sexually appreciative commentary on women’s bodies for that matter.) I’m saying I didn’t know about the current ATMB thread (I don’t usually read this board) until after the warning. Nor can I recall seeing any recent warnings or mod notes about sexual lasciviousness or related matters on any of the threads I do participate in. I should note that in general, I don’t peruse the topics on any SDMB boards. When I want to talk about a movie or TV show, I go to Google and enter “[movie/show name] sdmb” and click the link. Then I follow email notifications or (since those have been wonky lately) just leave my active threads open and refresh them. That’s probably not the way people would ideally prefer we participate here, but that’s just honestly how I manage my time and keep from getting into timesucks I can’t afford. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/24 "2019-01-05T07:33:33Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > If this were actually true, or if I had just started commenting on her body without this video being out there, you’d have a definite point. But it’s absurd to say that her pose at the beginning of the video (against the wall), combined with the tight clothing choice, wasn’t meant to be sexy. Come ON. :rolleyes: Why did you start it in “Elections” a political forum? Did you think “Elections” was the forum for “Hey! Check out this female I’d masturbate to”? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/25 "2019-01-05T07:36:40Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I should note that in general, I don’t peruse the topics on any SDMB boards. The fact that you post here at least 1.66 times **A DAY** undermines that. That’s just posting. Which means you read here more than that. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/26 "2019-01-05T07:37:23Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > t’s an offense against humanity to allow deliberately sexy videos of public figures to stoke masturbatory fantasies? 😕 No, but that doesn’t mean we want to hear about it. You are familiar with the concept of TMI, I assume? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/27 "2019-01-05T07:38:09Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > It seems pretty straightforward to me. There’s nothing wrong _per se_ with talking about who you’d like to fuck, and there are plenty of other places you can do that. But the majority of the SDMB community have decided they don’t want this to be one of those places, because we want the community to be inclusive, and that kind of thing is offputting for a lot of people. I don’t see how this is any different from real life, where consensus social convention dictates an appropriate time and place for different types of conversation. > > Unless you have some cogent argument why talking about sexual fantasies needs to be an integral part of a board that’s primarily about fighting ignorance, why not just accept that and not be a jerk about it? I would have appreciated seeing the post moved to the appropriate forum or—if the reasonable description you have provided here applies to all the boards of the SDMB, how about a mod note explaining it the way you did (not “you’re being a jerk”, WTF) and closing the thread without a warning? There is clearly a lot of puritanism about that I have been oblivious to. I posted the same exact comment when linking the video on Facebook (including the “slammin’ bod” bit), and my wife was not a happy camper even though I showed her I had excluded her parents, brother, and grandparents from seeing the post. And now a few hours later, no one has “liked” or commented on it in any way, which is pretty unusual. People are getting way too uptight IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/28 "2019-01-05T07:38:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > No, but that doesn’t mean we want to hear about it. You are familiar with the concept of TMI, I assume? Yes, he is, which is what he is counting on. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/29 "2019-01-05T07:41:35Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > But it’s absurd to say that her pose at the beginning of the video (against the wall), combined with the tight clothing choice, wasn’t meant to be sexy. …for your reference: It was a recreation of the dance scenes from The Breakfast Club. She was doing Ally Sheedy's dance. It wasn't intended to be "sexy." For context: the entire video is here. Her clothes look comfortable. And pretty fucking normal. The way she is dressed is the same as everyone else in the video. She wasn't posing for you. She wasn't dressing for you. Learn to keep your thoughts to yourself. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/30 "2019-01-05T07:41:48Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > The fact that you post here at least 1.66 times **A DAY** undermines that. That’s just posting. Which means you read here more than that. No, I don’t read threads I don’t post in. Actually, other than threads about movies and TV shows, I don’t post much in threads I didn’t _start_. Which I realize is actually not that cool, because if everyone did that, how would we have any conversations going? So mea culpa on that, but I’m not lying about what I said. ETA: I didn’t know it was supposed to be Ally Sheedy’s “Breakfast Club” dance, but that was pretty sexy too! Or is that not okay to say either? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/31 "2019-01-05T08:01:34Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I had no idea there was a whole “misogyny”\* imbroglio going on :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/32 "2019-01-05T10:06:43Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would have appreciated seeing the post moved to the appropriate forum or—if the reasonable description you have provided here applies to all the boards of the SDMB, how about a mod note explaining it the way you did (not “you’re being a jerk”, WTF) and closing the thread without a warning? I appreciated the warning. I’m happy that this sort of mastubatory fantasy posting is being pushed out, even if it’s taking longer than it should. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/33 "2019-01-05T10:31:45Z")
Oh great, so I’m being made an example of. Can anyone honestly deny that what I said was not hostile, disparaging, or even mocking of AOC? It was appreciative, albeit in a way that many people obviously find icky, but there should be a grey area where people just roll their eyes or even say “gross” and leave it at that. To say that something is not a violation is not the same as saying you endorse it or want to be associated with the kind of person with that personality. ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/34 "2019-01-05T10:49:58Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Can anyone honestly deny that what I said was not hostile, disparaging, or even mocking of AOC? > [@Bone](#): > > Perhaps a discussion about a person’s attractiveness can be had. In Elections, it may take the form of discussing the matter as it relates to electability, or some other salient political aspect. That’s not what your thread was. Your comments were of the pubescent teen variety - not what that forum is for. I took into consideration your contemporaneous posting about AOC and pornhub, and concluded it crossed the line. > > You asked via PM to whom your comments were being a jerk to. **The answer is all of us**. …your question has nothing to do with why you were moderated, and answering it would clearly outside the scope of this particular forum. Do you need any help parsing or understanding what Bone told you? It appears that you are struggling, if you need any help I’m sure we can help you out, just let us know. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/35 "2019-01-05T11:22:01Z")
This isn’t going to be the THIRD 4-6 page thread on this exact topic, is it? What else can be said that wasn’t already said in those? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/36 "2019-01-05T11:23:46Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Oh great, so I’m being made an example of. > > Can anyone honestly deny that what I said was not hostile, disparaging, or even mocking of AOC? It was appreciative, albeit in a way that many people obviously find icky, but there should be a grey area where people just roll their eyes or even say “gross” and leave it at that. To say that something is not a violation is not the same as saying you endorse it or want to be associated with the kind of person with that personality. Nope, you just went out of your way because the other thread here wasn’t about you. Obvious troll being obvious. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/37 "2019-01-05T11:36:04Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Can anyone honestly deny that what I said was not hostile, disparaging, or even mocking of AOC? Some people may differ from you as to whether “I am going to be[having a wank or severa](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21412826&postcount=269)l over this non-porn video posted as an anonymous attack on a female politician” was hostile or not, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/38 "2019-01-05T12:02:53Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > This isn’t going to be the THIRD 4-6 page thread on this exact topic, is it? What else can be said that wasn’t already said in those? Link? Like I said, I never lurk. If I didn’t post in 'em, I didn’t read them. But I would like to. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/39 "2019-01-05T12:24:14Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > [https://twitter.com/kbandersen/status/1080965192358481920?s=21](https://twitter.com/kbandersen/status/1080965192358481920?s=21) > > [https://twitter.com/helaineolen/status/1081242859523768320?s=21](https://twitter.com/helaineolen/status/1081242859523768320?s=21) > > [https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1081363299751600133?s=21](https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/1081363299751600133?s=21) For the record - none of those three examples are “political people” talking about “it”, which is what Drunky Smurf, of all people, requested. SlackerInc’s thoughts on Alexandria Occasio-Cortez’ body are entirely his own contribution. Also for the record: None of those people are “political people”. They are writers & journalists. > [@](#): > > You guys are being way too conspiratorial in your thinking. I saw everyone buzzing about the video on Twitter, thought “wow, she looks hot”, wanted to express this among people I know on the SDMB, and did so. That’s it. I had no idea there was a whole “misogyny”\* imbroglio going on until after I got the warning and someone PMed me about it. > > \*It’s a sad day when a young (but not underage) woman dresses and dances in an obviously sexually provocative way in a video she knew would be put online, someone notices and publicly agrees that she is indeed very appreciable in that way, and this is labeled “misogyny”. Sheesh. :rolleyes: And because you seem confused about this: the misogyny part is treating a woman like a sex object (ie - saying that now you will vote for her because she’s sexy) rather than respecting the quality of her ideas and goals. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/40 "2019-01-05T12:47:06Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Oh great, so I’m being made an example of. > > Can anyone honestly deny that what I said was not hostile, disparaging, or even mocking of AOC? It was appreciative, albeit in a way that many people obviously find icky, but there should be a grey area where people just roll their eyes or even say “gross” and leave it at that. To say that something is not a violation is not the same as saying you endorse it or want to be associated with the kind of person with that personality. Did you try making this argument to your wife? Or all those people on Facebook who didn’t appreciate your “icky” post? Maybe you can convince them that you didn’t realize you were being creepy because you never read anything on internet unless you post it yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241.md?page=3)