# How is it a warnable offense to express appreciation for a public figure’s sexiness? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [January 5, 2019, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241 "2019-01-05T05:35:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/61 "2019-01-05T19:31:37Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > But when we get to the point of forbidding what amounts to, as another generation might call it, “Hubba Hubba”, it’s approaching moral panic territory. You clearly understand what the issue is here, you just don’t agree with it, and you belittle the position by calling them “hubba hubba” comments and the like. But since you clearly understand the issue, I guess we can assume that any future “hubba hubba” comments or comments that are “icky” or “gross” are either intentionally violating moderator instructions, violating the rules, being a jerk, or trolling, all of which are bannable offenses. Are we clear on where you stand at this point, or would you like to make another statement about how you think these “innocent” little comments of bygone generations should be allowed? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/62 "2019-01-05T19:40:31Z")
I would like to know if this applies to TV and movie threads. Hopefully not, as I was not the only one participating in such recently in the “Orville” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/63 "2019-01-05T19:42:19Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would like to know if this applies to TV and movie threads. Hopefully not, as I was not the only one participating in such recently in the “Orville” thread. It does. Thanks! I’ll start reporting now. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/64 "2019-01-05T19:47:46Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > In a [video](http://www.citypages.com/music/lets-watch-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-dance-to-princes-lets-go-crazy/503899511) where she is quite obviously trying to look sexy (and succeeding magnificently)? 😕 This again? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/65 "2019-01-05T19:50:29Z")
You can say she’s adorable for the same video in the Pit, if that helps. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/66 "2019-01-05T19:56:04Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would have appreciated seeing the post moved to the appropriate forum or—if the reasonable description you have provided here applies to all the boards of the SDMB, how about a mod note explaining it the way you did (not “you’re being a jerk”, WTF) and closing the thread without a warning? > > There is clearly a lot of puritanism about that I have been oblivious to. I posted the same exact comment when linking the video on Facebook (including the “slammin’ bod” bit), and my wife was not a happy camper even though I showed her I had excluded her parents, brother, and grandparents from seeing the post. And now a few hours later, no one has “liked” or commented on it in any way, which is pretty unusual. People are getting way too uptight IMO. > [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would like to know if this applies to TV and movie threads. Hopefully not, as I was not the only one participating in such recently in the “Orville” thread. I’m going to try to make it easy for you to understand. Nobody who isn’t your lover cares about your penisfeelings, or about your penis. Just as you are expected to keep your penis to yourself in anything other than a directly sexual situation with a fully consenting partner, you are also expected to keep your feelings regarding your penis, how it feels, what it wants, what or who makes it wibble around and everything else about its operation that is not directly medically relevant (such as “Is my penis supposed to turn purple and feel really cold?”) strictly within the confines of your own mind. We all are painfully aware that you, along with other men in our society, have been allowed to talk about your penisfeelings freely and to speculate on what various other persons bodies are like and how you’d like to do things to them based on your penisfeelings, but you and other men are now being just as constrained as the rest of us have always been to keep that shit to yourself. It is not, has never been, and never will be acceptable or fun or an issue of “freedom” for you or any other person to make sexual remarks in public. Full stop. The only thing that’s changing is that you are now getting consequences that you’re unfamiliar with when you do. These consequences are never going to stop, you are never going to be allowed to air your gross comments without pushback and you will get social sanctions if you simply refuse to evolve and learn. Do make a note of it so we can all stop having to deal with your tedious and excessively juvenile pissing and moaning over it. Grow up and deal. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/67 "2019-01-05T19:58:17Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would like to know if this applies to TV and movie threads. Hopefully not, as I was not the only one participating in such recently in the “Orville” thread. I was pleasantly surprised. I posted in that thread and wondered what I’d missed. It turns out, nothing. Even you were able to post like a normal human in it. There were passing mentions of how attractive two of the women are, which isn’t objectification. That is as far as it should go. If someone had posted how hawt they got when looking at the women, and how they were wank material, that I would’ve reported. So there’s the line for you. Now you know! Glad to help. For reference: [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=868114](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=868114) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/68 "2019-01-05T19:59:16Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > You can say she’s adorable for the same video in the Pit, if that helps. > > Regards, > Shodan “Adorable” is very different from “trying to look sexy”. Most significantly, it’s not sexually objectifying in any way. I’m quite certain that “adorable” wouldn’t have been modded. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/69 "2019-01-05T20:03:29Z")
We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/70 "2019-01-05T20:07:58Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. > > The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. I’m going to pretend that you’re actually being sincere and direct you to ecg’s Post #61. It seems clear to me. Your complete mischaracterization of the video in the first paragraph is disgusting. There are plenty of places on the internet to be gross. You don’t have to be so here. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/71 "2019-01-05T20:08:46Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. > > The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. False. See SmartAleq’s post, as well as mine, just a few above yours. No matter how many times you protest otherwise, it’s not about any of this other crap in your post. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/72 "2019-01-05T20:09:40Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > And whether or not what you wrote was hostile, disparaging, or even mocking is besides the point as well. Being a jerk doesn’t require those elements. This is an important point. Bad intentions are not necessary for being a jerk–it can be the result of (willful) cluelessness. The OP’s comment was buying into the framework (attempted by the person who originally tweeted this video) of pigeon-holing the woman into the whole saint/whore dichotomy. (I.e.:“She’s not acting like a saint, so the only other option is to look at her purely sexually–not serious enough to be in Congress.”) You might think you’re being complimentary when you do this, but there’s a larger context and history to this, which has always been dehumanizing, because real people are something in between. The saint/whore dichotomy has long been a tool for keeping woman out of power. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/73 "2019-01-05T20:14:04Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. She didn’t mean it and it is insulting to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. > > The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. You’re mischaracterizing the issue and the SDMB. And yet again you’re raising the bright line argument? Enough. The mods made a good call. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/74 "2019-01-05T20:16:18Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. If that’s what you came away with from all the discussion, then you haven’t understood anything about the issue. But that’s already been abundantly clear. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/75 "2019-01-05T20:20:02Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. Me, I’d close them sooner, rather let them run for five pages of wilful disingenuousness: “Oh, so we’re not allowed to use the word ‘hot’ now? How are we expected to talk about the weather? I need to know exactly where the line is!” Never mind dodging, you and your ilk shouldn’t be given this forum as a stalking horse for your disdain for women; if there’s one thing I’d like to see in the moderation of this board in the New Year, it’s vexatious mendacity like this thread being stamped on a lot harder. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/76 "2019-01-05T20:20:32Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. > > The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. Even without disputing anything in your post, perhaps we should aspire to making this a better community by developing more inclusive social skills even to the extent that this goes _beyond_ adherence to whatever strict and explicit rules a mod might articulate about behaviors that cross the “warning” line? SmartAleq’s timely account just before your post at #66 is a good place to start. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/77 "2019-01-05T20:20:57Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. This is so incredibly inaccurate, on so many different levels, that it’s probably best and safest for you if you just refrain from commenting on anyone’s appearance on this board ever. Just a recommendation from another poster – you’re either incapable or unwilling to understand the great range of nuance that exists here. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/78 "2019-01-05T20:31:02Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I would like to know if this applies to TV and movie threads. … Only one way to find out! Keep Fenris’ Law in mind, though! ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/79 "2019-01-05T20:52:05Z")
It’s the\* damned if you do, damned if you dont \*rule. The Mods just took a beating for a Naoe instead of a Warning about a far less obvious offense. I would have gone for a note- until I saw the additional comments and the fact that the thread went in Elections. So, this was a correct call, but in general, i think more Notes, less Warnings on this issue is the right way to go. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2019, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241/80 "2019-01-05T21:02:21Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > We had a whole thread about this. You may not comment on a woman’s attractiveness even if she posts a video of herself writhing against a wall and crawling on the floor in a sexual manner. It is insulting and demeaning to call her sexy when she attempted to be sexy. > > The mods have made clear that they will not have any meaningfully clear rule about this and that you will be at their subjective mercy. Any threads in ATMB will be closed when they believe that they have dodged you enough. Link? > [@bobot](#): > > Only one way to find out! Keep Fenris’ Law in mind, though! I don’t know what Fenris’s Law is, but it looks like I will need to steer clear of non-Pit threads from here out. Pity. I guess I will take my son’s advice and go to Reddit, where positive “Hubba Hubba” comments are not yet verboten, plus of course Twitter and Facebook. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-a-warnable-offense-to-express-appreciation-for-a-public-figure-s-sexiness/827241.md?page=5)