# "How is it that you're single?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712 "2012-05-03T02:29:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/42 "2012-05-03T17:17:36Z")
I have a nice house, that I keep spotless, I hate cats, I am a positive, happy person, I do not own a television or a computer, I have a disability that has totally removed my ability to “please” a woman, I love to read, Obviously I’m not anyone’s idea of a good catch. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/43 "2012-05-03T17:31:04Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > As a guy who gets asked it - 2 responses > > 1. I prefer being happy… > > or > > 1. Marriage is an institution and who wants to be institutionalised I say that too. And sometimes add, “Because there’s nothing worse than thinking about those leftovers all day and coming home to find out they were eaten, am I right?” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/44 "2012-05-03T17:35:41Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I have a disability that has totally removed my ability to “please” a woman Bankruptcy? **ducks & runs** ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/45 "2012-05-03T17:38:21Z")
You blend your margaritas?! _Heathen_! I only like the traditional lime ones anyway - don’t have much time for the fruity ones. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/46 "2012-05-03T17:49:31Z")
A friend of mine uses this one: “Because I still like shtupping goyim.” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/47 "2012-05-03T19:00:46Z")
I was hoping someone would say, “I credit good aim and cheap ammo…” _Bonus points if said dead-pan serious_ ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/48 "2012-05-03T19:10:29Z")
My sarcastic answer used to be “Because something is obviously terribly horribly wrong with me, but none of my friends have the heart to tell me what it is.” But then, like DianaG, that kind of flip answer made me realize that people don’t get irony or self-deprecating humor and then I get a lesson in self-esteem. So I just use the “Oh, I know, right?! Who knows?” Recently, a second date actually asked me if I was afraid of commitment. I told him I simply don’t see the point. That’s the serious answer: I’ve been so fiercely independent for so long that I can no longer figure out why I’d need to be married. I just don’t get it. You can have a long-term, monogamous (if you so choose), perfectly committed relationship without ever getting married, so I can no longer think of any good reason to do so. I figured if I’d wanted marriage badly enough, I’d have done something to make it happen by now, but obviously it hasn’t meant that much to me, so… still single. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/49 "2012-05-03T19:44:18Z")
I used to say, “Got anybody in mind?” Usually that shut them up. But once, when it didn’t, I was introduced to my future wife. ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/50 "2012-05-03T20:04:07Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > How do you typically answer? I never get asked. Well I did, once. On a dating site, some guy messaged me and was astounded that I was single, and wanted to know why. “Um, because I never got married?” I spent about an hour (before I finally put him on ignore) trying to re-answer the re-phrased question. He just. couldn’t. understand. it. Thanks. I think. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/51 "2012-05-03T20:05:18Z")
“Why? You interested?” That probably cost me a few friendships back in college. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/52 "2012-05-03T21:11:17Z")
I have heard several times: You’re XX age and have never been married, what’s wrong with you. I have always responded with: You’ve been married twice - what’s wrong with _you_. (Oddly, no one who has ever asked me that was only married once.) ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/53 "2012-05-03T22:40:19Z")
Tell them, " I can’t help it. I was born that way." ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/54 "2012-05-04T02:11:37Z")
Nobody asks me this. I think they pretty much figure it out [at sight](http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2606/3669574201_8c22964922.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/55 "2012-05-04T02:14:16Z")
“I poop my pants.” ---
**Author:** ![pudytat72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@pudytat72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pudytat72)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/56 "2012-05-04T02:22:25Z")
My son says in regards to women in physics: The odds are good. . .but the goods are odd. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/57 "2012-05-04T02:26:16Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > “I poop my pants.” For best effect say this after unfocusing your eyes and making a slight straining sound. > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I explain how, by not having children, I am doing more to preserve the Earth’s environment and resources than anyone who has kids – so I can enjoy my gasoline-powered small appliances without any guilt. Oh, sure the shredder makes a lot of exhaust but you should see it eat through a ream of paper! ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/58 "2012-05-04T02:29:40Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I never get asked this question. I guess in my case, it’s just obvious. Yep, me too! ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/59 "2012-05-04T03:53:28Z")
“It is neither a mistake nor an accident that I live alone.” That usually shuts them up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/60 "2012-05-04T04:00:24Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > A friend of mine uses this one: “Because I still like shtupping goyim.” I like that answer. But then, hey, I married one 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/61 "2012-05-04T04:04:53Z")
> [@Satchmo](#): > > “It is neither a mistake nor an accident that I live alone.” > > That usually shuts them up. > 🙂 I think it’s interesting how the general assumption is that being single is something that happens TO someone instead of something that someone would CHOOSE. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712.md?page=4)