# "How is it that you're single?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712 "2012-05-03T02:29:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/62 "2012-05-04T04:26:42Z")
I used to go with playful “it’s too much work!”, or the truthful “I’m just not at that point in my life where it feels right to settle down. Maybe in a few years I’ll meet someone.” Another classic is the “Well, you’ve got to find the right guy first, don’t you?” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/63 "2012-05-04T05:05:53Z")
My sentient penis fights crime all night, and by the time the sun rises it’s too exhausted for me to have a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/64 "2012-05-04T06:38:37Z")
“Because it’s just too much fun being a serial killer! Mwahahahaha.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![StJoan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@StJoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StJoan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/65 "2012-05-04T09:15:35Z")
“Because I am happy with my life, the way it is.” ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/66 "2012-05-04T09:23:29Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > I’d use this if the question was being asked jokingly or sarcastically. > > If it was an honest question from a well-meaning nosy aunt, I’d say something like “I’ve still got a little of the last one in the freezer, but I’ll be looking for a fresh one soon. Keep your eye out for me.” Like it! Depends on the person. Maybe a shifty look to the left and right and then lean in and whisper or mouth “They keep dying on me” or a big smile and “By careful design” and leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/67 "2012-05-04T11:06:13Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Oh, sure the shredder makes a lot of exhaust but you should see it eat through a ream of paper! On this tangent, I once made a paper shredder explode. Apparently lubricating the gears with WD-40 is a really bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/68 "2012-05-04T12:05:02Z")
I had an aunt who was really bothered that I was single so long. She was always asking whether I was dating anyone. I’m pretty sure she thought I joined the Navy because I was a lesbian. :rolleyes: So after I eloped and brought my husband to meet the family, this aunt had such a look of disapproval, bordering on disgust, it absolutely shocked me. It may or may not be connected, but both of her daughters had unsuccessful first marriages, altho they did seem to find lasting spouses on their next go-rounds, while my husband and I are in our 29th year together. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/69 "2012-05-04T12:23:16Z")
“Court order” ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/70 "2012-05-04T12:34:11Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Ah, the dreaded and inevitable “So how is it that you’re single?” In answer I’d long been using “Because I’m all set for small appliances.” but today in the face of a particularly annoying questioner I went with “Because David Foster Wallace is dead, David Sedaris is gay, and everyone else is boring.” > > How do you typically answer? “I’m married - just because I don’t have a ring it doesn’t mean I’m single.” ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/71 "2012-05-04T12:37:15Z")
> [@Satchmo](#): > > “It is neither a mistake nor an accident that I live alone.” > > That usually shuts them up. > 🙂 I like this. I’m sure my family members who like to push about the single issue will think it rude. I’m not sure I care. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Nobody asks me this. I think they pretty much figure it out [at sight](http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2606/3669574201_8c22964922.jpg). There’s something wrong with this picture? because I’m not seeing it. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/72 "2012-05-04T13:11:00Z")
Not everyone is into public sax. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/73 "2012-05-04T14:19:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > “I poop my pants.” Ok, can we be friends now? ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/74 "2012-05-04T14:49:00Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > “Just lucky, I guess.” I love that one. I have to remember that. Once I replied " Because I’m a closeted homosexual" then grin. Left it up to her to decide whether I was serious or not. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/75 "2012-05-04T16:00:28Z")
“It’s not that I haven’t tried. I’ve TRIED. Do you have ANY idea what’s available out there???” followed by several sterling examples of close calls with psychos, married men, comic book fanatics, sci-fi fanatics, obese losers living in mom’s basement, guys who spit on the street, alcoholics, dope fiends, any of a number of tragic blind dates… “You’re too picky, young lady!” That’s what always got me, I’m “too picky”, as if I’m holding out for a 30 year old male fashion model who owns a castle in Spain and fosters kittens and puppies in his penthouse apartment when he’s not flying me to Paris for the weekend. “There are a LOT of “nice guys” out there!” Oh-oh. I have to explain I cannot buddy up to another warm body for the sole reason he is a “nice guy” and therefore unlikely to beat me up or steal my car. And your idea of a nice guy clashes with mine, anyway. Well, eventually I showed 'em all and flabbergasted everybody by getting married before some vague sell-by date. But I remember that question. Like really, what else are you going to say? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/76 "2012-05-04T16:33:02Z")
I used to mutter something about the "terms of my parole . . . " ---
**Author:** ![Terra1041](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Terra1041](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terra1041)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/77 "2012-05-04T17:27:00Z")
Because I’m lesbian. It’s a lot harder for homosexuals to find prospective partners because there are a lot fewer of us. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/78 "2012-05-04T17:40:22Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > … psychos, … sci-fi fanatics, Hey, be nice now. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/79 "2012-05-04T17:44:42Z")
I’m familiar with the spousal and child support laws. I cannot find a suitable woman who wants a trophy husband. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/80 "2012-05-04T18:00:26Z")
> [@Satchmo](#): > > Hey, be nice now. > 😉 Yeah, the psychos might object to being grouped in with the rest of them.[sup]\*[/sup] - Okay, with the rest of “us”. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712/81 "2012-05-04T18:33:22Z")
Conversely: “I’m into earlier Star Wars and can’t get with the newer ones”…actually got into a big argument with a guy while dating because I didn’t want to go see the pod-racing one yet AGAIN! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-is-it-that-youre-single/620712.md?page=5)