# How long has it been since you had sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988 "2001-01-14T10:06:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/141 "2001-01-20T23:27:18Z")
Been a few weeks. As for the people that post right after sex… I hate to say it but, IMHO, that’s kinda pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/142 "2001-01-21T00:13:02Z")
5 months. Not that the dry spell is such a big deal…the genteleman involved had failed to, um, “satisfy” _every single time_ we did it during our entire 2 year relationship. Right now, I can take or leave sex, but I’m mostly just glad that I left _him_. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/143 "2001-01-25T19:31:47Z")
In a delicious bit of irony, I’m now at 40 days and counting. Last night a friend (Shellie) and I met up for drinks. We’re both flirty with each other, have been since we met, no big deal. For the last week or so, she has been chatting me up to a friend of hers that she plays volleyball with and that I had recently met. Anyway, a few pitchers of beer later, she (Shellie) looks at me and says, quite bluntly, “So are we going to go back to your place or what?” Back at my place, I’ve just finished the nickle tour, I’m fixing a gin-and-tonic and she’s making herself comfy on the couch when…the phone rings. It’s her friend. Smiling, Shellie shakes her head and says “Well…night!” And then there was one. [sub]The phone call was promising, though, and we’re meeting tonight, so keep your fingers crossed for me, we’ll see what happens.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![WickedAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f6c823/32.png) [@WickedAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WickedAngel)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/144 "2001-01-25T20:08:00Z")
a year once march 15th approaches…and no fun prospects for the immediate future ☹ ---
**Author:** ![OESGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecae2f/32.png) [@OESGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OESGal)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/145 "2001-01-25T21:07:28Z")
I had it last night, and boy was it GREAT! The best yet I think 😃 The joys of having a horny boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/146 "2001-01-25T21:50:45Z")
22 days. But, the good part is that the _next_ time I have sex will be in about 26 hours. And then the morning after that. And then that afternoon. And then… 😃 (The plus side of the long distance relationship is that when you do finally get to have sex, you have a _lot_ of sex, and it’s usually fantastic.) ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/147 "2001-01-27T05:05:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Anti Pro \* > > \*\*I hope this helps you feel better, \*\* Lizard \*\* it’s been six years, and it don’t look like nuttin’ is gonna come my way any time soon either. And YES, I’m legally married too, doggone it. > > \*\* > > How could you be married yet not have had sex for _six years_?? Is your wife in a coma? (or husband, I don’t know if you’re male or female. \*\* I’m sorry that I didn’t catch your question earlier, \*\*Lizard. \*\* I’m a female, which means I’m my unhusband’s wife. He came home six years ago and told me he was tired of me and our sons, and he wanted to just concentrate on himself. SOOOOO, I moved into my youngest son’s bedroom [HATE twin beds, but hey, at least it’s NOT the couch] and my youngest moved in with his older brother [bunk beds] I could’ve left him and sued, with legal grounds, to end the ‘unmarriage’ but, I was home schooling both our sons, DJ is now off at college, and Billy has only a couple more years before he too, leaves for school. After THAT, then I don’t care if I end up in a trailer, at least I’ll be alone for real instead of married and alone too. Judy ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/148 "2001-01-27T14:44:25Z")
AntiPro, I can really relate to what your saying. It’s been three months here, but if I had to remember the last time we actually _wanted_ to do it with each other without feeling like it wasn’t some sort of marital chore … well, I don’t think I could remember back that far. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/149 "2001-01-27T22:34:33Z")
you are killin’ me here! I can’t stand it! WHAT the hell are you y’all thinkin? Okay, I can kind of understand Anti and the kids…sorta…kinda…oh damn, I can’t. Forget the damn sex, how can you bear living with someone so incredibly mean and self-involved? And what the hell is HIS story, anyway? Why didn’t he leave you? Do you take care of him in some way? I know it’s really none of my business, but the whole thing is so strange and awful that I find myself dying to know more! And Euty…what’s up with that? Why would you hang in a relationship that had deterioriated so badly? Why wouldn’t you try to fix it? I dunno… I’ve never been married (I’m engaged now but in no hurry, there’s no reason to) and I’ve never had kids nor shall I… but I just can’t imagine continuing to live with someone I had lost all affection and desire for. What’s the point? Wow. To answer the OP: 12 hours. stoid ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/150 "2001-01-27T22:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > \*\*Well, it often isn’t a factor. And we’re pretty much a once a day at least couple (The personal best was eleven times in one day 😃 woo, the man is a stud!) > \*\* Eleven times in one day? And you LIKED that? Upon reading it, I immediately recoil in virtual pain. As much as I love sex, I don’t like having it too often. It dulls the appetite, so that it is not as sweet. Just as with food,if you are stuffed on your favorite foods every day, they are no longer so tasty. Plus, it becomes more and more difficult to have an orgasm if I am having them too often. My body is only capable of blowing the roof off the joint just so many times… stoid ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/151 "2001-01-27T22:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > **And Euty…what’s up with that? Why would you hang in a relationship that had deterioriated so badly? Why wouldn’t you try to fix it? \ I just can’t imagine continuing to live with someone I had lost all affection and desire for. What’s the point?** The point is that sometimes your children’s well-being is more important. ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/152 "2001-01-28T05:48:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\*you are killin’ me here! I can’t stand it! WHAT the hell are you y’all thinkin? Okay, I can kind of understand Anti and the kids…sorta…kinda…oh damn, I can’t. Forget the damn sex, how can you bear living with someone so incredibly mean and self-involved? And what the hell is HIS story, anyway? Why didn’t he leave you? Do you take care of him in some way? I know it’s really none of my business, but the whole thing is so strange and awful that I find myself dying to know more! > > \*\* Stoid, sometimes you do things you think you’d never do when you’re young. I’m forty seven, and while I could’ve left, put the kids back into school, gotten a job. Where would my kids, who are the innocent ones, have been then? They would lose both parents instead of just the one. THAT isn’t fair. I miss making love, BIGGG TIME, I miss the conversations, the shared looks in a crowded room…well, hey, I miss being REALLY married, and all that implies. Why should he leave, really? He has the house, his clothes are still washed, while I don’t cook for him, the food is still where he can find it. His job is everything to him, and while that ISN’T new, I just didn’t think it would work out like this. His paycheck [and granted, folks, it’s pretty big] is still automatically deposited, he hardly speaks to anyone here, except notes to me…‘we need bananas’ [WE don’t, he’s the only one that eats them] And if I REALLY have to have his attention, [when DJ’s car broke down recently, I couldn’t unload the broken down car off the U-Haul tow dolly by myself] he DOES whatever it takes, so he can be left alone again. But, again, he does do it, he could’ve told me to go jump in a lake. I have a feeling, anyone married for over ten years [it’s over twenty years for me] can identify with you, \*\* Euty, \*\* marriage is HARD, and automatic pilot is SOOO easy. But, you don’t have to settle for letting it be that way, if YOU feel that way, then maybe she does too. I can’t really change the fact Duane doesn’t want us as a family, or me as a wife, but please don’t think the same thing applies to you, or YOUR wife. People just forget and numb out. Go home and do something different…YOU DO IT. Have a picnic on the kitchen floor. Go light candles and give yourself a bath, so she sees you doing it. Bring both of you two sets of flowers home. Love yourself a bit in front of her…don’t let it be too late for you. sorry for the hijack and for real life being mucky sometimes…ok, MANNY times. ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/153 "2001-01-28T14:41:07Z")
Damn… I haven’t had so much as a serious crush in 4 years, and I’m 21! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Call\_Me\_Tech-Mex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@Just\_Call\_Me\_Tech-Mex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Call_Me_Tech-Mex)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2001, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/154 "2001-01-28T17:33:14Z")
If you have to ask, it’s been too long.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pismonque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/46a35a/32.png) [@Pismonque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pismonque)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/155 "2001-01-29T05:50:19Z")
Not very long. But then again, it’s really not that long _while_ I’m having sex, either. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/156 "2001-01-29T11:52:11Z")
I’m really surprised at how this thread has endured. I’ve learned a few things, mostly from reading **Anti Pro’s** cautionary tale. I think it holds a valuble lesson for some of us-that marriage should never be taken for granted. I feel some sympathy for her, even as I fully understand her logic. And add the time between the OP and now to how long it’s been for me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/157 "2001-01-29T13:27:39Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Stoid \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > \*\*Well, it often isn’t a factor. And we’re pretty much a once a day at least couple (The personal best was eleven times in one day 😃 woo, the man is a stud!) > \*\* Eleven times in one day? And you LIKED that? Upon reading it, I immediately recoil in virtual pain. Well, that was in the early stage of the relationship. YES I liked it! (Did I mention we each have aloe plants in our respective houses, for, umm, chafed areas.) Now that it’s been a couple of years, we’re down to once or twice a day. And it just gets better. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988/158 "2001-01-29T14:27:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVeblen \* > \*\*Sex? What’s that? > Veb \*\* The ‘May–December’ season for affairs of the heart is soon upon us. I’m thinking Veb will meet someone while walking her pup and admiring the new spring growth:)Hope it lasts into the new year! As for the OP: Kind of a dry spell going on–I can definitely relate to the ‘sex, Wha?’ feeling. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-had-sex/49988.md?page=7)