# How long is a "long term marriage" to you?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 16, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659 "2011-06-16T03:29:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/1 "2011-06-16T03:29:25Z")
Simple question. I ask because someone referred to a 10 year marriage as long term in the alimony thread and to me 10 years is not long term. I’m thinking 20+.
You?
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### Author:  [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/2 "2011-06-16T06:33:54Z")
I voted for 10+. It seems like that’s long enough to show you’re plenty serious about it. Most “Hollywood” marriages don’t get past 5 years, so that’s not good enough.
I’ve been married for 18 years, and while I don’t foresee it ending anytime soon, a 20+ year marriage is a long, long time. More than “long term,” it’s like “damn, you guys should be proud.”
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### Author:  [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/3 "2011-06-16T06:39:40Z")
20 plus, to me is long term 30+ is basically lifetime but maybe i’m different. I come from a background of lifetime marriages
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### Author:  [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/4 "2011-06-16T07:31:08Z")
I’d accept as low as 15 but lower than that doesn’t make the ‘long term’ marker for me.
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### Author:  [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/5 "2011-06-16T11:35:21Z")
We are married for 60 years, does that count?
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### Author:  [@Nightfall1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightfall1)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/6 "2011-06-16T11:43:01Z")
Our 21st year starts on June 19th. It’s going to be a lifelong love affair. Boy, doesn’t seem that long. I remember the moment I met her. 🙂
I would say 20 years is the beginning of a long marriage.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/7 "2011-06-16T12:22:33Z")
The question makes no sense to me. I’m not complaining that you asked it - this is just my answer.
‘Long term’, to me, usually applies to something that has a foreseen end (such as the repayment of a loan), or is otherwise understood to be non-permanent (such as a contract to supply a service).
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/8 "2011-06-16T12:27:40Z")
> [@Nightfall1](#):
>
> Our 21st year starts on June 19th. It’s going to be a lifelong love affair. Boy, doesn’t seem that long. I remember the moment I met her. 🙂
> I would say 20 years is the beginning of a long marriage.
Happy anniversary!
It’s a difficult thing to quantify for me. On the one hand, ten years is nothing– **DoctorJ** and I have been together sixteen (married 8.5) and we’re just getting started. On the other hand, that’s nearly half our lives and _that_ seems like a long time.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/9 "2011-06-16T12:57:36Z")
I say 10 years is enough to qualify. Think about it - what else do you have in your life that sticks around 10 years? Your car? Your house? It’s a big deal.
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### Author:  [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/10 "2011-06-16T14:10:42Z")
I think 10 years is too short a time to qualify for ‘long term’. That said, eternity rings seem to be given at the first anniversary these days, so maybe anything longer than a year?
I voted 30 years but anything longer than 25 years counts as ‘long term’ in my view.
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### Author:  [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/11 "2011-06-16T15:18:07Z")
I vote for 20+, but my view is admittedly skewed since my first marriage ended just after the 10-year mark.
On the other hand, I found out during my divorce that California law treats marriages that have lasted 10 years or longer differently than shorter marriages, so I suppose I broke the barrier in that sense. Yippee. 😛
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/12 "2011-06-16T15:23:35Z")
I think 10 years is right on the edge of what I’d call “long term,” but 20 is more like it.
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### Author:  [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/13 "2011-06-16T15:24:48Z")
To me it’d be 25 or the silver wedding anniversary.
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/14 "2011-06-16T15:40:08Z")
Today is our 21st wedding anniversary. Doesn’t seem that long.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/15 "2011-06-16T17:47:01Z")
I vote 30. Long enough to get the kids launched, have a life as a couple again, and then decide whether to stay together or not.
QtM, married 30 years this past Monday.
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### Author:  [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/16 "2011-06-16T18:27:02Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> QtM, married 30 years this past Monday.
Many congratulations!
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### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/17 "2011-06-16T18:30:43Z")
I voted 20+. Ten years was like a drop in a bucket. Blink your eye and it’s gone. We just had our 18th and even that doesn’t seem “long term”. I think 25 yrs is a good benchmark.
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### Author:  [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/18 "2011-06-16T18:47:10Z")
I voted 30+, but I’m not sure even that is long enough. I know at least five couples who have celebrated their 50th anniversary, so I guess I would call those “long-term marriages”. One is my parents.
My sister has been married almost 25 years, that’s pretty long.
I myself am only coming up to our fifth anniversary in August.
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### Author:  [@JoThrive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoThrive)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/19 "2011-06-16T18:48:56Z")
It depends on the individuals involved. My DH and I have been married 64 1/2 years, and it seems like a fairly short time to us.
People today don’t seem to want to work at a marriage. Get a little miffed at your partner, so change partners. IMHO they are failing to remember the promise - “as long as ye both shall live.”
Oh, well, I am impossibly oldfashioned.
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### Author:  [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)
#### Post date: [June 16, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/20 "2011-06-16T18:58:54Z")
I say you don’t get to call any marriage that ends in divorce “long term.”
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