# How long is a "long term marriage" to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659 "2011-06-16T03:29:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/21 "2011-06-16T19:06:27Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I vote 30. Long enough to get the kids launched, have a life as a couple again, and then decide whether to stay together or not. > > QtM, married 30 years this past Monday. I voted 30+ for pretty much these reasons. I’m coming up on 14 and it is not long term at all. I have jeans that are older! ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/22 "2011-06-16T19:10:19Z")
Voted 20+. Mrs. Inexplicable and I have been married for 27 years. **JoThrive** , you are NOT old-fashioned. You are in love. And you seem like such a nice lady. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/23 "2011-06-16T19:39:36Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I voted 30+ for pretty much these reasons. I’m coming up on 14 and it is not long term at all. I have jeans that are older! :eek:My god, man, go shopping!! 😛 I’m struggling with the question too, since the phrase “long-term” implies to me a fixed goal or end date, and that’s not what a marriage is. I guess in the context of a divorce I might consider it to be 20+ years, but even then, I’m not seeing why it matters (having neither read the other thread for context nor ever been divorced!) Since we’re all making announcements, I’ve been married 5.5 years, but with my husband for over 11. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/24 "2011-06-16T20:06:05Z")
I think one of the criteria for a long term marriage is having all of your kids growing up and becoming adults themselves, and fully living with the trials and joys of watching them growing up together. We’ve been married for almost 25 years, but our youngest (with autism) is almost 10, so we still have a ways to go…considering our situation. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/25 "2011-06-16T20:27:57Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > Since we’re all making announcements, I’ve been married 5.5 years, but with my husband for over 11. Hang on - married for 5.5, together for 11+… ok, I have to ask. Somewhat strange coincidence that I was about to say the same thing, or are you my wife? :dubious: Oh, and for the record I voted 20+ ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/26 "2011-06-16T22:09:11Z")
I voted 10, it seems if you make it to 10 you should be able to go the rest of the way to the whole death do us part thing. we have been married 20 years as of this past Valentines Day [Yeah, I know, sod romance, mrAru jokes he did it so no matter what holiday he sees advertised, if he gets me a present he is certain to hit our anniversary. Given that he has been known to forget his own birthday, I can not entirely discount this …] My parents were married 58 years [Dad died frm MRSA, and no Mom didn’t do it, though they used to make jokes about divorce no, murder could be a distinct possibility] Grandparents [Dad’s side] made 51 years before grandpa died. Grandparents [Moms side] didn’t make it more than 20 years, but Grandmom died as a result of the house fire that killed my aunt immediately, took grandmother 3 years to get around to dying of various aftereffects. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/27 "2011-06-16T23:21:45Z")
> [@TheBoltEater](#): > > Hang on - married for 5.5, together for 11+… ok, I have to ask. Somewhat strange coincidence that I was about to say the same thing, or are you my wife? :dubious: > Oh, and for the record I voted 20+ I doubt it. But if you are, please stop for milk on the way home from work, we’re out. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/28 "2011-06-17T00:24:15Z")
I voted for 30 although I don’t know that I consider that long term. Both sets of grandparents and my in-laws went over 50. My parents didn’t, but my mother died shortly after their 25th so I don’t know if they would have. And unless you plan a murder-suicide or a car accident killing both of you, there is an end to marriage. My husband and I will have our 39th anniversary in August, and it feels strange because in my mind I’m still about 25. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/29 "2011-06-17T00:56:38Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > I’d accept as low as 15 15+ is a sorely lacking poll option! ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/30 "2011-06-17T03:17:20Z")
Labeling marriage as long term makes it seem like people only get married to divorce. It’s assumed (until proven) you’re in it until one of you dies. Anyway, I guess if marriage ten years or more I’d consider it long. I don’t want to make a blanket statement, but from the people I know, if you’ve been married about 30 years or longer you’re probably not going to divorce. Yes, I know many people who have been married DECADES and they live totally seperate lives (sometimes in different homes). ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/31 "2011-06-17T03:20:00Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I say you don’t get to call any marriage that ends in divorce “long term.” Long term bad choice? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/32 "2011-06-17T13:17:12Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Many congratulations! Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/33 "2011-06-17T18:38:52Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I doubt it. But if you are, please stop for milk on the way home from work, we’re out. 🆒 We _are_ out of milk! :eek: OK, now you’re freaking me out. ---
**Author:** ![Craneop2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Craneop2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craneop2)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/34 "2011-06-17T19:46:58Z")
July 14th will be 42 for Mrs. Crane and myself. She hasn’t figured an inconspicuous way to do me in yet. Thats pretty long term. I voted 20+ ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/35 "2011-06-17T19:54:01Z")
Congrats to everyone celebrating anniversaries! BTW, I voted 20+ anything less and you likely still have an “occupied nest”. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/36 "2011-06-17T20:31:29Z")
I don’t think 47 is near long enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/37 "2011-06-18T06:14:07Z")
> [@monavis](#): > > We are married for 60 years, does that count? Most definitely 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/38 "2011-06-18T07:12:19Z")
I voted 30 years. I can’t imagine being with someone that long, but M was married for 32 years. I’m 33. I know a couple who have been married for 52 years. That just blows me away. (they are planning a second honeymoon in Hawaii for their 55’th) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659/39 "2011-06-18T12:56:10Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I’m struggling with the question too, since the phrase “long-term” implies to me a fixed goal or end date, and that’s not what a marriage is. I’m glad it wasn’t just me. I think it’s the ‘term’ bit. It makes sense to me to describe a marriage as having been ‘long’, or to say that two peple have been ‘long married’, but ‘long term’ doesn’t fit the concept (to me). It’s like asking if you have ‘long term children’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-is-a-long-term-marriage-to-you/585659.md?page=1)