# How long to wait to ask a girl out/general dating advice needed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 9, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240 "2010-02-09T04:35:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Urban\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@The\_Urban\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Urban_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/21 "2010-02-11T06:10:10Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > When it comes to babes, there is no such thing as too pushy, unless she disses you, and after that, it’s not pushy, it’s stalking. > > Get the number immediately, don’t wait. Ignore the people with her, they would ignore you to get a phone number. > > [snip] > > Go online, look up Doc Love, and order his book “The System.” It’ll help. That strikes me as terrible advice. No such thing as too pushy?! There’s clearly a difference between being engaging and being uncomfortably assertive, to the point of being an arsehole. Pushy behavior will dissuade more people than it’ll attract, and encourages a retaliatory response. It’s unwelcome confrontation rather than unwelcome persistence. Immediately trying to obtain a phone number and ignoring all other members of a social group isn’t a magic system for endearing yourself towards anyone. Save yourself the $99. Just act using a degree of common sense, and with any available charm. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/22 "2010-02-11T09:32:11Z")
To the op: you’re just going to have to find some way to open that door. Go out and get on her floor. I think you’ll soon see that following this advice will result in everybody wanting you ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/23 "2010-02-11T09:40:08Z")
Reading the OP it seems clear she wasn’t interested in your friend from the first meeting where she disappeared after a few min. If she had been keen, she would have either stuck around, or given a signal that she was reluctant to go (e.g. friends wanting to go to another bar etc). Let this drop would be my advice - although I guess you’ve worked that out from the other responses by now! ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/24 "2010-02-11T11:24:34Z")
Incredible desperation there is in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/25 "2010-02-11T17:24:43Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > To the op: you’re just going to have to find some way to open that door. Go out and get on her floor. I think you’ll soon see that following this advice will result in everybody wanting you What you did there, I see it. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/26 "2010-02-11T17:33:26Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > She’s not interested. If she was, she’d have picked up the phone and closed the deal. > > She’s just not that into him. > > I like the Three Strikes rule of thumb for dating and new friendships. I reach out three times. If I email, txt, call, Facebook, whatever, three times in a row and get neither reciprocation nor a response (and no commitment to see in person), then all contact stops. I do not want to be that chick who cannot take a hint. > > People don’t want to be hurtful, and they don’t know how to say no in a nice upfront way, so they do this dodge and avoid thing instead. It’s a hint. Advise your friend to take it. You are way overly generous. Once. That’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240/27 "2010-02-11T18:39:41Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > > [@msmith537](#): > > > > Have you tried showing up at her workplace? Girls like that I’m told. > > Nah, find out where she lives and just chill there. She’ll be so surprised and touched to find him waiting at her door when she gets home! Only if you stand outside in your trenchcoat holding a boombox with Peter Gabriel blasting away at some power ballad. (“Red Rain” is not recommended.) > [@Cubsfan](#): > > Incredible desperation there is in this thread. If you can’t provide something that is either helpful or remotely amusing, how about you go take a piss someplace else? Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-to-wait-to-ask-a-girl-out-general-dating-advice-needed/528240.md?page=1)