# How long until everyone has to fly naked? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2006, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273 "2006-08-11T12:29:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/61 "2006-08-12T11:47:56Z")
One nice aspect of this is that it will force more people to actually check luggage rather than ram their suitcase into an entire overhead bin that is supposed to be for several people to put their carry-on stuff in! Certainly valuables should go in your carry-on, but most people don’t have silk undies and mink T-shirts; not **everything** you have is so valuable that you can’t risk having it in checked luggage! ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/62 "2006-08-12T13:55:05Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > In fact, they’re not allowed carry-on of any kind other than passport/tickets/money in a clear plastic bag. Once again, that’s not true for the US: carry-on luggage is allowed (including books, iPods, laptops, etc.), just no liquids. At least, that was the case Thursday evening. You really should qualify the things that are only true for your location. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/63 "2006-08-12T14:01:09Z")
Jumpsuits. Everyone will pass through Security and go into the changing rooms. (Doubtless, some wag will scrawl “Brausebad” over the door) and everyone will have to doff their clothing and then change into orange jumpsuits. It’ll look like Con Air. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/64 "2006-08-12T14:04:31Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > Jumpsuits. > > Everyone will pass through Security and go into the changing rooms. (Doubtless, some wag will scrawl “Brausebad” over the door) and everyone will have to doff their clothing and then change into orange jumpsuits. > > It’ll look like Con Air. And they will have to be handcuffed and end up in Cuba. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/65 "2006-08-12T15:50:35Z")
No, not jumpsuits – open-arsed paper hospital gowns. :eek: I do see a HUGE market for baggies containing a small toothbrush, a disposable razor and a half-ounce each of toothpaste, deodorant and shampoo, to be delivered to you as you _debark_. As for the duty-free shop, I guess they’ll have to create an approved sealed tamper-resistant container that will have to be delivered from the shop to the gate attendant who’ll gate-check it (the airline will sell you THEIR water at the gate itself) and it’ll be handed to you at arrival. But, you ask, how do we know for sure the duty-free clerk and the gate attendant aren’t terrorist moles who’ll pull a switch? Well, already NOW, do we know the “ramp rat” who handles the checked luggage and the mailbags and airfreight, is clean for sure? Do we know the mailbags and airfreigh boxes are secure? Or as earlier mentioned, do we NOW know for sure the catering cart is secure? We don’t. But we’re still flying. Brilliant, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/66 "2006-08-13T09:19:18Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > A [plot to blow up 10 planes](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4778575.stm) departing from the UK and headed for the USA was foiled, at what may or may not have been the last minute. At any rate, 21 people are in custody. They apparently meant to use a bi-or-tripartate liquid explosive, so now no one’s allowed to bring beverages or liquids of any kind on board. In fact, they’re not allowed carry-on of any kind other than passport/tickets/money in a clear plastic bag. > > How busy have you been, anyway? Very, very very busy. I’m crashing and burning. Thank you for your answer. The regulations are, of course, asinine. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/67 "2006-08-13T18:08:57Z")
Nothing like being sick and without your inhaler from 3pm Eastern until 9am Pacific the next day, thanks to thunderstorms, missed connections, and airport security. I mean, it’s not like anyone carries around the box their inhaler came in (which is what actually has your name on it). ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/68 "2006-08-13T19:41:49Z")
I’m waiting for the day the terrorists recruit an insulin-dependant diabetic muslim to sneak explosives onto a plane in his insulin bottles. When that happens, diabetics will never be able to fly on commercial airliners again. I’m wondering if passenger trains will enjoy a renaissance in the not-too-distant future. They might not be as fast, but the trade-off would be that you wouldn’t have to spend all day at the airport going through security, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the train getting hijacked. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/69 "2006-08-13T21:57:53Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > I’m wondering if passenger trains will enjoy a renaissance in the not-too-distant future. They might not be as fast, but the trade-off would be that you wouldn’t have to spend all day at the airport going through security, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the train getting hijacked. This is what is happening between the UK and Europe, especially for business people who cannot bear to be parted from their laptops for even a second. Bookings for Eurostar through the Channel Tunnel have increased dramatically. A bonus is that journey times from London to Paris or Brussels are quicker than going by plane for city-centre to city-centre journeys ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/70 "2006-08-13T22:02:20Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Oh, and [this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4784225.stm) curdles my blood. > > :eek: :eek: :eek: > > I mean, really. St. Valentine’s Day Massacre notwithstanding, it used to be enough to merely open the case and prove that there really **was** a violin in there. I can’t…Violin, guitar, cello, whatever: a fragile instrument can’t survive in a baggage hold, and telling a musician it has to go in there is like telling them they can’t fly unless they consent to having their arm cut off. That story really terrifies me. I’m taking my violin to Europe in two weeks, and right now the RyanAir website says that _no_ carry-on luggage other than things like medication and glasses is allowed. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Right now I’m waiting it out and hoping that the security will be relaxed by September 1, but just thinking about it makes me want to clamp my arms around my fiddle and never. let. go. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/71 "2006-08-13T22:50:00Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > I’m wondering if passenger trains will enjoy a renaissance in the not-too-distant future. They might not be as fast, but the trade-off would be that you wouldn’t have to spend all day at the airport going through security, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the train getting hijacked. I hope so. Maybe then, we’d have train service return to Calgary _and_ go more places than it currently does. Blankety-blank idiotic government that slashed train service back in the early 90s… I like long train trips. I’ve been pretty much across Canada on trains at one time or another. Trains are a great way to travel, if you’ve got the time. And with all the problems currently associated wth air travel, maybe the time is right to reconsider trains. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/72 "2006-08-13T23:32:54Z")
:eek: This is scaring me a little. We’re flying from BWI to Houston in three weeks and I’m going to have to bring my CPAP machine for sleep apnea. If I can’t carry it on, I’m going to be chewing fingernails for the entire 4 hours down and back until I see that it’s okay and working properly. This thing IS my entire life…even as little as two nights without it and I’m useless for anything but crashing cars and getting fired for sleeping during the day at work… ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/73 "2006-08-13T23:43:20Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > …I’m wondering if passenger trains will enjoy a renaissance in the not-too-distant future. They might not be as fast, but the trade-off would be that you wouldn’t have to spend all day at the airport going through security, and you wouldn’t need to worry about the train getting hijacked. It’s unlikely passenger trains will greatly increase in popularity in the US. It would take major federal intervention to improve our rail network and the airlines can afford the best lobbyists money can buy. So unless major airlines (or possibly Walmart or News Corporation) decide to get into the train business we’re stuck flying or driving. Security problems aren’t that big a deal for the rich. Private jet charter companies are going to make a killing. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/74 "2006-08-14T00:38:45Z")
The terrorists may not have won, but they’re definitely laughing their asses off. I can’t wait to see what the next “let’s humiliate the infidels” plot is going to be. Fecal explosives so we have to have our stool searched before boarding. Or razor blades hidden in a fake scrotum. These don’t have to work to be successful. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/75 "2006-08-14T01:09:55Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > It’s unlikely passenger trains will greatly increase in popularity in the US. It would take major federal intervention to improve our rail network and the airlines can afford the best lobbyists money can buy. So unless major airlines (or possibly Walmart or News Corporation) decide to get into the train business we’re stuck flying or driving. Security problems aren’t that big a deal for the rich. Private jet charter companies are going to make a killing. Don’t be so sure. Most of the major airlines are currently bankrupt; their execs aren’t exactly wiping their asses with hundred-dollar bills these days. They’d bitch about plans to improve rail travel, but there’s not much they could do to stop it. Also, if air travel becomes any less convenient, it will quickly become the conveyance of last resort, to be avoided if any feasable alternative exists. For example, if businessmen are forced to check their laptops as luggage, then business travel will drop to almost nothing. Conference calls, video phones, and other telecommunication techniques will replace business travel, unless there is absolutely positively no way to avoid having a real live person make the trip. Even then, most of those businessmen will probably use corporate jets (as has been suggested already) which will be a loss for the commercial carriers anyway. For shorter regional flights, say from Detroit to Chicago, or New York to D.C., rail travel can be a perfectly viable competitor to airlines, and sooner or later some smart venture capitalists would realize this. Amtrak is still around, and there’s no reason why the currently-existing rail carriers couldn’t get back into the passenger business if they thought it had become commercially-viable again. It might even spur the creation of a high-speed rail network in the US. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/76 "2006-08-14T02:12:37Z")
i had thought of hollowed out books. figured the x-ray carry on bag thing would thwart that. i was wondering more about an impregnated page or some such. would that be possible? they do have those nifty soap leaves, and breath tapes… perhaps an explosive page is not so odd. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/77 "2006-08-14T03:04:22Z")
FWIW, I once flew from Albuquerque to Chicago with ten hits of acid inside a book. Security did flip through it to ascertain that it was a book, and not hollowed out, but they took no notice of the sheet of “stamps” between the pages. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273/78 "2006-08-14T06:22:00Z")
> [@Jackknifed Juggernaut](#): > > Or…let the terrorists blow a few planes up. Only this time, don’t make a big stink about it. Tell the media outlets to report it unemotionally; save the stories for page 22. Don’t investigate it. Just act like we don’t give a crap. Eventually, the terrorists will stop due to lack of interest by the government and victims. Or start making up our own beliefs to counteract the whole “72 virgins” thing. If you die in a terrorist attack, you spend eternity drinking mead and feasting with buxom blonde _non_-virgin Valkyries (and/or Chippendale dancers, according to your preference). “127 Americans made the journey to Valhalla this morning aboard Oceanic Airlines flight 42 from Poughkeepsie to Peoria by way of Pittsburgh. It is believed the contemptible terrorist may have actually smuggled a bomb aboard and then _left the plane before it detonated_. What a glorious day to die! Isn’t that right Biff?” “Absolutely! Clear skies with a high of 82 degrees, but I’m afraid it looks like we may be in for some rain over the weekend. Now, on to sports!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-long-until-everyone-has-to-fly-naked/368273.md?page=3)