# How Many 5-Year-Olds Could You Take in a Fight? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435 "2007-12-18T04:45:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/21 "2007-12-18T07:03:00Z")
[QUOTE=mamboman] 28. There’d be owees and boo boos a’plenty! [/QUOTE] Hahahaha! 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/22 "2007-12-18T07:20:46Z")
14 I’m a wuss ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/23 "2007-12-18T07:22:43Z")
This is a ripoff of [this McSweeney’s article](http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/8schweiger.html)! Everyone knows that 12 year olds are the most dangerous game. Beating up five-year olds is so wrong!!! 21 of the little fuckers, for the record. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/24 "2007-12-18T07:38:20Z")
The test says 25, but I’m pretty sure I could take more than that. I’m the rough and tumble dad of our group and there is nothing my kids like more than a daddy-fight. In general I oblige them and we’ve got plenty of grass stained jeans to prove it. This spring I visited their co-op and wrestled about twenty kids, all at once, ranging in age from about six to thirteen and gave as good as I got. The secret is to pick one up and chuck him/her at the others, like a game of bowling. And when one of the little buggers charges you, sidestep, grab an arm, and redirect them right back into the crowd. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/25 "2007-12-18T08:13:32Z")
24, it seems. I also did it again with the intention of getting the highest possible score, and it came out to 36. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/26 "2007-12-18T08:22:58Z")
1. But if they resort to tickle-fighting, I’m screwed… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/27 "2007-12-18T09:03:54Z")
24; I suspect my body type is counted against me, which is sort of an error. Thin folks can sit on top of you, but can’t keep you from wiggling free 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/28 "2007-12-18T12:02:02Z")
Woo-Hoo! 31 kindergartners! Thank goodness it’s not 7-year-olds. I’d need a stick. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/29 "2007-12-18T13:49:49Z")
16 kids. Bring 'em on! ---
**Author:** ![ErinPuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@ErinPuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ErinPuff)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/30 "2007-12-18T14:13:46Z")
…four. It’s a good thing I don’t intend to find myself in a situation where I’m fighting a swarm of five-year-olds, then, isn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/31 "2007-12-18T14:19:36Z")
1. But I probably cheated. It’s not that I’d have any moral compunction against using a five year-old as a projectile, but rather that it wouldn’t have occured to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/32 "2007-12-18T14:19:56Z")
23! Yah! Ki-yah! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/33 "2007-12-18T14:34:22Z")
The site says I could take on 10 (as an elderly teacher, I’m pleased the number is low). However the site fails to take into account my three special powers: - I have the teacher ‘voice of command’. Pupils obey me. 🙂 - I can tell really bad jokes. Pupils collapse groaning. 😃 - given a really good spicy curry the night before, no child can approach within several feet of me (certainly all attacks from behind are right out :eek: ). ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/34 "2007-12-18T14:35:48Z")
30! So I guess I could be a kindergarten teacher after all. ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/35 "2007-12-18T14:38:59Z")
You could take on 27 five year old kids in a fight. I suck. I was expecting alot more. Looks like tomororw I’m heading down to teh local primary school and I’m going to prove I can beat more than 27! ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/36 "2007-12-18T14:42:20Z")
26, darn. The secret to this sort of fight is to focus on one kid early and knock his lights out. Then pick him up by the ankles and use him as a bludgeon. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/37 "2007-12-18T14:59:04Z")
1. Go for the eyes early. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/38 "2007-12-18T15:09:03Z")
1. Og damn 5 year olds need a good ass whoopin anyway. BTW, when I read the title, I was reminded of an OLD thread about how many cats could you fight off. That thread was fucking classic! ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/39 "2007-12-18T15:39:08Z")
Eight, and I’m surprised it’s that many. They’re just little ki–_OW!_ C’mere, you little _punk!_ ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435/40 "2007-12-18T15:46:12Z")
I can take 30. But for some reason I have a mental image of Arnold in Kindergarten Cop Picking up a little brat holding him by the ankles and spinning in circles knocking out the other kids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-5-year-olds-could-you-take-in-a-fight/430435.md?page=3)