# How Many \_\_\_\_\_ Does It Take...? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 17, 1999, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382 "1999-12-17T03:47:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382/1 "1999-12-17T03:47:00Z")
1. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to _want_ to change. 2. How many LAPD officers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to shoot the light bulb and the other to swear that the light bulb shot first. 3. How many Texas Aggies does it take to change a light bulb? 100. One to hold the bulb and 99 to rotate the house. 4. How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and another to kill him and take credit for the job. 5. How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb? Fill out form 99/34rfth-mm8 in Triplicate and we’ll get back to you by the 29th of next month. 6. How many skeptics does it take to change a light bulb? Until I see the light bulb for myself, I refuse to believe there even IS a light bulb. 7. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Brown. 8. How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? Jesus is my light. Any more? * * * \>\< DARWIN \> \_\_ **L\_\_\_L** ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382/2 "1999-12-17T03:48:00Z")
Damn it! This should be in MPSIMS. * * * \>\< DARWIN \> \_\_ **L\_\_\_L** ---
**Author:** ![Jois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ea666f/32.png) [@Jois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jois)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382/3 "1999-12-17T04:41:00Z")
How many grad students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes ten years. How many art students does it take to change a light bulb? One but they want 4 credits. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem. * * * Oh, I’m gonna keep using these #%@&\* codes 'til I get 'em right. ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382/4 "1999-12-17T04:42:00Z")
How many electric bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None, the piano player can do it with his left hand. How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? Five, one to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it. How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? Five, one to change the bulb and four to tell him how much better they would have done it. How many trombone players does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he’ll do it too loudly. How many French horn does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking for alignment and leaks. How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have a machine to do that. How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can’t get that high. How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but the guitarist has to show him first. How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one. How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb? One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band. How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? 12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out. How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his forehead. How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb? “Don’t worry about the changes. We’ll fake it!” * * * Mr. K’s Link of the Month: [The Enchanted World of Rankin-Bass](http://www.rankinbass.com/) ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 1999, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-_____-does-it-take/5382/5 "1999-12-17T13:30:00Z")
I have closed this thread and moved it to MPSIMS.