# How many children has Michael J. Fox killed? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293 "2003-10-03T07:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/21 "2003-10-03T20:50:39Z")
What would we do, baby? Without us What would we do, baby? Without us And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other thru What would we do, baby? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/22 "2003-10-03T21:10:31Z")
Buncha wimps. Why, when I was a kid, we didn’t use shoes. Or nails. Just Crazy Glue and Nair. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/23 "2003-10-03T21:24:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*Well, there was that kid who told his pit bull to “Sit, Ubu, sit” and got his throat torn out. \*\* Thanks Bryan, I am laughing so hard I’m crying! ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/24 "2003-10-03T22:00:30Z")
88? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/25 "2003-10-03T22:05:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by j.c. \* > \*\*I thought this would be oabout the teeny babies MJF ate in his quest for stem cells to quell the Parkinson’s! \*\* No, no, no. _Christopher Reeve_ eats babies. Michael J. Fox just sticks his feet up their bums and uses them as ski boots. Totally different. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/26 "2003-10-03T22:55:18Z")
You guys think that stuff’s bad, because of MJF, I travelled back in time once and nearly slept with my mother because of him. What?!? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/27 "2003-10-03T23:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*Shoes? You had SHOES? You were lucky. We surfed behind cars in our bare feet using each other’s bodies as surfboards. You had to switch every five minutes to let the guy who was the surfboard surf on you or else he’d freeze to death (it snowed year round back then.) \*\* Bodies? You had bodies? Hell, when I was a kid we didn’t have bodies, we had surf on one another’s auras. Oh, and there weren’t any cars, either. We had to catch a solar flare and ride that to the outer reaches of the solar system. There weren’t any planets yet back then either, so our auras were always getting hole in them from all the pre-planet-formation debris floating around in space… ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/28 "2003-10-03T23:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Bodies? You had bodies? > > Hell, when I was a kid we didn’t have bodies, we had surf on one another’s auras. Oh, and there weren’t any cars, either. Luxury! When I was a lad, we were disembodied intelligences created half an hour before the primordial monobloc expanded, creating the universe in the Big Bang. We didn’t get to have these newfangled hadrons, no we had to settle for white-hot plasma and we LIKED it. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/29 "2003-10-03T23:57:45Z")
3, during the “mad bomber” campaign he tried to do to get out of filming “Light Of Day”. (8 adults, 2 parakeets, and one Rottweiler also fell victim.) ---
**Author:** ![DeepPurple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@DeepPurple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepPurple)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/30 "2003-10-04T03:04:29Z")
I must be missing something, this isn’t about masterbation? I saw Pee Wee Herman mentioned…but…no…ok, my error. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/31 "2003-10-04T03:19:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*Luxury! > > When I was a lad, we were disembodied intelligences created half an hour before the primordial monobloc expanded, creating the universe in the Big Bang. We didn’t get to have these newfangled hadrons, no we had to settle for white-hot plasma and we LIKED it. \*\* Monobloc expansions?! Man, when I was a tyke, we grabbed straws and sucked primordial oooze for nourisment(from any planet we could find). Do you have any IDEA how hard it was to suck thru a straw…without extremities!!! And, we liked it! ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/32 "2003-10-04T03:27:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by photopat \* > \*\*Oh yeah? Well, I personally got the snot kicked out of me because, like a jerk I decided to just stand there rather than fight back, because everybody knows the bully won’t hit a guy who just stands there and refuses to fight. (Thanks a lot Keith Partridge) \*\* You deserve it, watching that crap. Now, Opie took the first punch, but then he WAILED into his bully. Beat him up real good. Ahhh, those were the days. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/33 "2003-10-04T03:32:22Z")
Straws? You had straws? When I was a kid we had to ladle the primordial ooze into our mouths with our hands! Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold ooze when you’re incorporeal? We worked damn hard to ladle our ooze into our nonexistent mouths with our intangible hands and we liked it! …grumble…grumble…kids today…with their solid, matter-based bodies… ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/34 "2003-10-04T07:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bienville \* > \*\*When I was an adolescent Michael J. Fox taught me to hold onto the rear bumper of a moving car while riding a skateboard (Back to the Fututre). He also taught me to stand on the roof and “surf” on a moving van (Teen Wolf). I was lucky enough to survive to adulthood. How many kids weren’t so lucky? \*\* That’s because their dads were all brain-damaged from hitting each other in the back of the head with a shovel after watching the 3 Stooges. It all started when some Greek kid poked his eyes out after seeing _Oedipus Rex_. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/35 "2003-10-04T13:28:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeepPurple \* > \*\*I must be missing something, this isn’t about masterbation? I saw Pee Wee Herman mentioned…but…no…ok, my error. \*\* How many people never learn to spell that word correctly? And it’s all Seinfeld’s fault! ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/36 "2003-10-04T13:54:14Z")
When I was in elementary school, long before (well not **that** long before) Back To The Future came out, the school gathered us all into the auditorium and showed us this nice little documentary about how hitching on the back of the bus was something we shouldn’t do (this actually was a really big problem in the Bronx back in the '70s). There were all these still shots of kids with big and very painful looking tire marks across various parts of their bodies. Oh, and a few kids with missing fingers and limbs. And then they served us lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/37 "2003-10-04T14:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*Will you guys please stop picking on Michael J. Fox? He is a kind, compassionate person who saved me from many a tenous time in my family’s relationship. > If it weren’t for Fox’s insight, I would never realize that, yes, it is possible for brothers to fight and forget birthdays but blood is the bond that ties us together. Without that knowledge, it is doubtful my team would have made it past Pinball City’s challenge, let alone winning the entirety of Leon’s game through the McGuiveresk use of a retainer in an electrical outlet. Then where would I be? Then where would Pee Wee Herman be? Think about that the next time you decide to libel. Yes, think about that. \*\* David Naughton, is that you? I loved you in _An American Werewolf in London_! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/38 "2003-10-04T16:34:48Z")
And how come in _An American Werewolf in London_, David’s friend Jack is only torn up when he first appears as a ghost and then decomposes over his subsequent appearances? David was supposed to have been in a coma for weeks, so wouldn’t Jack have already decomposed by the time of his first appearance? ---
**Author:** ![Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@Moo\_the\_Magic\_Cow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moo_the_Magic_Cow)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/39 "2003-10-04T17:30:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by metroshane \* > \*\*What would we do, baby? > Without us > What would we do, baby? > Without us > And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other thru > What would we do, baby? \*\* SHA LA LA LA ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293/40 "2003-10-04T18:28:48Z")
What about the **Pepsi Commercial** where he risks life and limb - in traffic - in the rain - just so he can get a Diet Pepsi for his sexy new neighbor? Then again she was rather nice especially with her roommate “Danny”. Hmmm on second thought … never mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-children-has-michael-j-fox-killed/205293.md?page=3)