# How many dates before having sex is okay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173 "2001-12-06T04:52:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/21 "2001-12-06T16:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dilbert \* > \*\*I guess I’m just old fashioned. The first person I ever had sex with was my wife. Sure, we only waited a week, but that’s beside the point. > > Personally, if she’s going to downgrade you to friend status because you haven’t had sex with her soon enough, then she’s not worth it. She’s probably slept around too much if that’s the case. However, I’m not here to make judgements. > > If you feel comfortable doing it, then do it. Just do it for the right reasons, not out of fear that your relationship won’t last without sex. After all, relationships shouldn’t be based on sex. \*\* I’m not concerned about being downgraded to friend status and there could be other reasons for a woman wanting to have sex on her own timetable besides having slept around too much. What’s too much anyway? Relationships shouldn’t be based on sex, but sex is a big part of a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Dilbert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58f4c7/32.png) [@Dilbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dilbert)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/22 "2001-12-06T16:49:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EasyPhil \* > I’m not concerned about being downgraded to friend status and there could be other reasons for a woman wanting to have sex on her own timetable besides having slept around too much. What’s too much anyway? > > Relationships shouldn’t be based on sex, but sex is a big part of a relationship. \*\* I must have read someone elses post and attributed it to you on the friend status part. Yes, there could be. However if that timetable is short, I would guess that it has also been short in the past. Granted this is not necessarily the case. As I said, I slept with my wife after dating for a week (we had known each other casually for about a year), and we had never had sex before. As far as what’s too much, that’s a personal call. Speaking strictly for myself, I don’t think I could have a serious relationship with someone who can’t count on one hand the number of people they’ve had sex with. I do have one friend that’s slept with about 7 people (that I know of) that I would have considered having a relationship with her. So I guess for me it depends on the person as well. I guess I disagree that sex is a big part of a relationship. I talk to my wife more and know more about her when we aren’t having sex. Is it important to a healthy long term relationship? Yes. But I believe there is a line that there is too much sex in a relationship as well. That line varys for people, but I think it starts when you stop talking except when you absolutely need to. (That sentence is poorly worded, I hope you get my meaning from what I wrote) ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/23 "2001-12-06T18:58:50Z")
Y’know that “date” you go on when her family’s there and your family’s there, and this official-looking guy stands next to you two and you say some words and she says some words and the official-looking guy says you’re responsible for each other for the rest of your lives? Right after that is a great time to have sex. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/24 "2001-12-06T21:52:15Z")
Well, Tygr, you might want to leave the church/courthouse/St. Elvis Chapel of Luv first… ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/25 "2001-12-06T22:37:31Z")
Section L, paragraph 1. **Third Date Rule:** If, at the end of the third date, during the “walk-you-to-the-door” portion of the conclusion (see section E, paragraph 2 “Things you may say on a date”) the party member of the residence you stand before asks if you would “Like a cup of coffee” Or other similar drink not usually consumed by children (see section K, all paragraphs “Drinking Do’s and Dont’s”), and the answer is confirmed by said party member offered; then sex is usually on that night. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/26 "2001-12-06T22:51:07Z")
Sure, NOW you tell me. God, that look on the MIL’s face… ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/27 "2001-12-06T22:56:03Z")
The real question is how many times to have sex before you can ask her on a date? Actually I’m not really joking. With most of the people I hang out with(a pretty partying type of crowd admittedly) it kind of is that way. Working your way toward sex after a bar or a party is kind of first step. Only after a few hook-ups do people feel confortable and accepted enough to ask for an official one-on-one date. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/28 "2001-12-07T03:26:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > \*\*Y’know that “date” you go on when her family’s there and your family’s there, and this official-looking guy stands next to you two and you say some words and she says some words and the official-looking guy says you’re responsible for each other for the rest of your lives? > > Right after that is a great time to have sex. 🙂 \*\* You mean right there on the altar? Do you have to pose for the photographer? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/29 "2001-12-07T06:10:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*The real question is how many times to have sex before you can ask her on a date? > > Actually I’m not really joking. With most of the people I hang out with(a pretty partying type of crowd admittedly) it kind of is that way. Working your way toward sex after a bar or a party is kind of first step. Only after a few hook-ups do people feel confortable and accepted enough to ask for an official one-on-one date. \*\* It’s true. My wife and I had sex togethr for a week before we decided to start seeing each other romantically. ---
**Author:** ![BoiToi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d26b3c/32.png) [@BoiToi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoiToi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173/30 "2001-12-07T08:19:48Z")
How many dates? More like how many hours… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dates-before-having-sex-is-okay/97173.md?page=1)