# How many does it take......... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124 "2004-12-22T05:21:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bendarr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e56c9b/32.png) [@Bendarr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bendarr)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/1 "2004-12-22T05:21:31Z")
A friend pointed this out to me from another board and I just had to share this with you people. Question: How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb? Roughly 1,351 (depending what phase the moon is in at any given time.) 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs 53 to flame the spell checkers 41 to correct spelling/grammar flames 6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp” 15 know-it-alls who claim _they_ were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct 156 to email the participant’s ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their “acceptable use policy” 109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group 203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped 111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts _are_ relevant to this group 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty 27 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs 14 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s 3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group 33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too” 12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy 19 to quote the “Me too’s” to say “Me three” 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ 44 to ask what is a “FAQ” 4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?” 143 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs” 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/2 "2004-12-23T02:21:49Z")
That’s hilarious. You are light on! What’s the FAQ? ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/3 "2004-12-23T05:12:43Z")
You forgot the poster who somehow manages to relate the whole lightbulb discussion to the Lord of the Rings. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/4 "2004-12-23T06:53:09Z")
Q: How many Freudian psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis - _I mean ladder!_ Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. Two to hold down the author, and one to screw the lightbulb in. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/5 "2004-12-23T08:56:23Z")
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. Don’t ask me how they got in there. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/6 "2004-12-23T09:58:18Z")
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs. What was this thread about? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/7 "2004-12-23T11:35:48Z")
How many moderators does it take to fix the title of a thread? One. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/8 "2004-12-23T12:16:49Z")
> [@](#): > > you people What do you mean by this? I find this highly offensive. I shall dash off a letter to your ISP at once! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/9 "2004-12-23T13:14:08Z")
Lighten up **Gabe**. Don’t be so anal-retentive. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/10 "2004-12-23T13:33:07Z")
10 to post a couple of links to past threads similar to the OP: - a [Generic Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288262) with no light bulbs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/11 "2004-12-23T13:49:38Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > How many moderators does it take to fix the title of a thread? > One. 😃 That’s your idea of of fixing it it? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/12 "2004-12-23T19:07:51Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > Q: How many Freudian psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb? > > A: Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis - _I mean ladder!_ Sorry wrong answer. It only takes one, but they will only do it if the lightbulb really wants to change. D&R ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/13 "2004-12-23T19:14:03Z")
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/14 "2004-12-23T19:24:28Z")
_That’s not funny!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/15 "2004-12-23T20:20:29Z")
**Q.** How many straight church organists does it take to change a light bulb? **A.** Both of them. (This joke was told to me by my father, who is a church organist. And gay. :)) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/16 "2004-12-23T20:40:34Z")
You forgot the two posters who will hijack the thread into a discussion about filaments and if Edison was racist or not. 😃 How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One How many Betazoids? Two. One to change the bulb, the other to clutch her hair and moan, “Darkness…I sense darkness.” How many Borg? Light is irrelevant How many Starfleet admirals? None. Changing the lightbulb will alter the cultural development of the room and is expressly prohibited by the Prime Directive. How many Starfleet engineers? Six. And it will take three hours. But we only have fifteen minutes, so he’ll reverse the polarity and cross his fingers. ---
**Author:** ![tanstaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tanstaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaf)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/17 "2004-12-23T20:57:38Z")
Actually, the answer is 1,352. You need one to equate something in the thread to Nazi Germany and Hitler. Godwin’s law and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Bendarr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e56c9b/32.png) [@Bendarr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bendarr)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-does-it-take/281124/18 "2004-12-25T18:14:30Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > How many moderators does it take to fix the title of a thread? > One. 😃 Thanks for the fix on the title. I sorta oopsed on that. Blame it on relative newbyism and a bad sense of spelling (sometimes called “Creative” spelling by well meaning friends) 🙂