# How Many Dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 2, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038 "2001-01-02T01:25:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nowalls99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e68b1a/32.png) [@nowalls99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nowalls99)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/1 "2001-01-02T01:25:39Z")
As answered by the following breeds… Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Dachshund: I can’t reach the stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me! Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . . Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it… You can feed me while he’s busy. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I’ve got a hangover. Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there… Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle… Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? ---
**Author:** ![Lowellster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lowellster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowellster)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/2 "2001-01-02T04:03:45Z")
Interesting. I opened this thread thinking the answer was going to be “Two, but I have no idea how they get in there.” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/3 "2001-01-02T05:42:28Z")
Yorkie: Let’s change the bulb, let’s change the bulb!! Maltese: Hold me up so I can watch! (I love Malteses. :p) German shepherd: How trivial. Humans must cope with the most banal of objects to survive. (I have a grudge against these dogs. They’re snooty!) Pit bull: Don’t go NEAR it!! (Accompanied by much snarling.) St. Bernard: Ohh…I slobbered on it and electrocuted myself. ☹ Those kinda weren’t as good as yours but this is fun. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/4 "2001-01-02T06:30:31Z")
I had Cocker Spaniels and I now have a Golden Retriever, and both of them are EXACTLY right. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/5 "2001-01-02T08:07:39Z")
Red Setter - Light bulb, oh hey great, er, I’ll just run round a bit, oh what’s that I bumped into can’t see a thing, oh yeah change the light bulb, right I’ll just run round a bit first, oops bumped into something else, wonder why it’s so dark, oh yeah light I remember but first… ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/6 "2001-01-02T08:43:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by casdave \* > \*\*Red Setter - Light bulb, oh hey great, er, I’ll just run round a bit, oh what’s that I bumped into can’t see a thing, oh yeah change the light bulb, right I’ll just run round a bit first, oops bumped into something else, wonder why it’s so dark, oh yeah light I remember but first… > > \*\* Judging from my dog, this could well-describe a Lab also! ---
**Author:** ![big\_yellow\_kingswood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@big\_yellow\_kingswood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/big_yellow_kingswood)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/7 "2001-01-02T12:41:19Z")
dunno about dogs, but my cat: You want me to change a light buld? psf. Yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/8 "2001-01-02T12:57:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nowalls99 \* > \*\* > Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? > \*\* Yep, that’s my lab, all right! A breed with far more energy than brains. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/9 "2001-01-02T13:18:29Z")
Dalmation: Duhhhhhhhhh… ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/10 "2001-01-02T13:41:58Z")
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel - you do it, but can I be really close to you while you do? Me - get out from under my feet! Aaargh! _splat_ Cav - why are you on the floor? Can we play now? ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/11 "2001-01-02T13:58:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spritle \* > \*\*Dalmation: Duhhhhhhhhh… \*\* That is “so” true. LMMFAO. Australian Shepard: “Lightbulb Schmightbulb. You cut my damn tail off!” ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/12 "2001-01-02T16:04:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoggie \* > \*\* > > German shepherd: How trivial. Humans must cope with the most banal of objects to survive. > (I have a grudge against these dogs. They’re snooty!) > > \*\* No, it’s “Ve haff VAYS to make YOU change der light bulb.” And they aren’t snooty. Just don’t like strangers. OK, usually hate strangers. Can be very affectionate to friends. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/13 "2001-01-02T18:21:58Z")
That’s true. I knew a German Shepherd who kept trying to crawl into my lap once. Which was kind of cute. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/14 "2001-01-02T19:07:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nowalls99 \* > \*\* > > Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle… > \*\* And I always thought it was “German Shephard…” oh my English… what I really wanted to say is that you can find out what dog breed you are right here: [http://www.emode.com/emode/tests/dog2.jsp](http://www.emode.com/emode/tests/dog2.jsp) I used to be an Irish Setter the last time I took it, but now I am a pug… personality change that is… dodgy woof woof ---
**Author:** ![Sn-man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sn-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sn-man)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/15 "2001-01-02T19:16:52Z")
We rescued a 7 or 8 year papered cocker from the D.F.L. (breeder thought the dog to old). The Cocker pees on her bed all the time. I always thought the mutt was just plain stupid, now it looks as if it’s the entire breed 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/16 "2001-01-02T19:19:22Z")
There was Tiras who died when I was five… I remember that he was the kindest soul… He d really look after his family. That was mom dad and me. At night he would make his rounds through the house - and check every room to make sure we were well. Sometimes I fell asleep - my head rested on him. When I was almost 7 we got Basti… We picked him cause he would run after everybody. He was a bit of an outsider to his many siblings and was the sweetest puppy. So we took him home 🙂 He grew up to be the stupidest dog ever. He would run after cars (and it is surprising he never got hit by one), bark at everything that moved (also grass… yes… grass) and had this “puppy expression” throughout his whole life. He would step on your toes (he was pretty heavy) and when you screamed and shoutet he would look at you and yu could almost hear him say: “What? I didnt do that?! Calm down! It is not MY fault. I am an innocent pure soul!” But once I accidently stood on his tail for one split second right after he had trampled my feet (and yes - it WAS an accident) From his howling you should have thought I had taken his heart out with a spoon… He always did that though… if you did something he didnt like he d sound like a seagal… or wose… eeek! eeek! eeek! The neighbours thought we were hitting him… I am sure they did. He also stole the bread from the compost heap… so we figured he liked stale bread and tried feeding one to him. But no way! It had to be form the compost heap. So we brought the bread to teh compost heap - went inside and when he was sure we were gone he d take it. I am done with dogs… no dog in the world could be as lovely to me as those two… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/17 "2001-01-02T20:52:12Z")
Oh my God, I took the test and I’m a Basset Hound! The weird thing is, if I could have a dog that’s what I would want. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/18 "2001-01-03T11:21:48Z")
I’m a Great Dane! Woohoo! ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/19 "2001-01-03T14:37:46Z")
Scottish Terrier - fearless & feisty… ---
**Author:** ![Lyllyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038/20 "2001-01-03T16:19:36Z")
I’m a Bernese Mountain Dog. [quote] Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? [quote] That fits my Golden to a “T” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dogs-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-light-bulb/48038.md?page=2)