# How many Dopers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280 "2004-07-15T16:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/21 "2004-07-15T19:06:24Z")
One to answer “Just two, but only if the Dopers are wee small.” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/22 "2004-07-15T19:11:09Z")
Wait a minute. Has it been esablished that this lightbulb actually needs changing? Cite, please? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/23 "2004-07-15T19:15:39Z")
Or… “Has it been esablished that this lightbulb actually needs changing? Sight, please?” ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/24 "2004-07-15T19:31:17Z")
One to ask, having forgotten to turn off the power resulting in a nasty shock when you accidently touched the socket, if it was the volts or the amps that did it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/25 "2004-07-15T19:42:06Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > One to throw in a paragraph about Thomas Edison. One to point out that Edison didn’t actually invent the lightbulb, that Tesla came up with a much better bulb that ran on free energy and was thus suppressed by General Electric, that Edison’s black/gay/female/physically challenged assistant actually did all the work at Menlo Park but was written out of the history books by the heterosexual white male patriarchy… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/26 "2004-07-15T20:01:50Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Or… > > “Has it been **esablished** that this lightbulb actually needs changing? > Sight, please?” One more to bitch about spelling and grammar. And yet another to start a tangent discussion of the applicability of Godwin’s Law. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/27 "2004-07-15T20:06:06Z")
One to somehow blame Bush for the fact the lightbulb needs changing. (Well, it probablly _was_ his fault 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/28 "2004-07-15T20:12:24Z")
One to start an argument about what forum the question belongs in. IMHO or General Questions? ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/29 "2004-07-15T20:12:33Z")
One to say "Never mind. I’ll just sit here in the dark. 😛 " One to say “That reminds me. When I was 7 I tried to change a lightbulb to show my mommy what a big boy I was, and I burned the HELL out of my hand! I still have a scar to this day!” One to say 'How many Dopers does it take to screw in an 18"DHIBJD :eek: :eek: ?" ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/30 "2004-07-15T20:54:27Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > One to make a 1920’s Death Ray or “when come back bring pie” or “I burning your dog” reference. One to say that poster owed him a new monitor/keyboard/desk because of expectorated coffee/Coke/jelly doughnut/whatever. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/31 "2004-07-15T21:09:57Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > One to say 'How many Dopers does it take to screw in an 18"DHIBJD :eek: :eek: ?" One to correct that to “How many Dopers does it take to screw _using_ an 18"DHIBJD :eek: :eek: ?” ---
**Author:** ![Shaolinrabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Shaolinrabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaolinrabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/32 "2004-07-15T21:38:01Z")
One to point out that the light bulb may not even want to change and all we have is the OP’s side of the story. Another to tell the OP that they can’t change the light bulb, and if it won’t change itself they’ll be happier just leaving. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/33 "2004-07-15T22:03:16Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > One to answer “Just two, but only if the Dopers are wee small.” One to get angry that someone already posted his joke (although I was going to say “two, but I don’t know _how_ they got in there”). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/34 "2004-07-15T23:53:03Z")
One to accuse another poster of being a troll because he stated that lightbulbs are only for dim bulbs. One to proclaim the superiority of fluorescent tubes and full spectrum lighting over simple lamps. One to post cites to refute the notion of full spectrum lighting. One incomprehensible thread by **Q.E.D.** or other resident smarty pants discussing the “p-spin fortnum of lampinosity” or some such techo-gibberish. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/35 "2004-07-16T01:33:44Z")
One to make an obscure reference to the goodsforetombed ereshiningem of light turkling eitheranny of thuncle’s windopes with very little expectation that anyone will get it. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/36 "2004-07-16T05:43:36Z")
::: quietly asks if 42 is the right answer ::: Isn’t 42 always the answer? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/37 "2004-07-16T05:54:21Z")
14 to wearily and exasperatedly link to the many, **many** times we have already been over this. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/38 "2004-07-16T06:09:45Z")
> [@Ghanima](#): > > ::snip:: > > One to link to a website describing the operation, including photographs. > > ::snip:: Probably _more_ than one to decry the photo – no matter how genuine or convincing – as “the shoddiest attempt at Photoshopping I’ve ever seen. I mean just look at the shadows!” A whole bunch more to argue with them. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/39 "2004-07-16T06:22:59Z")
One to Google the crap out of it and post that it really [has](http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/interlight.html) been done before. 🙂 Please note that the above list does not take into account the all-important “one idiot to resurrect the zombie light bulb thread a year from now and start the whole flame war over again.” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280/40 "2004-07-16T06:37:44Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Or… > > “Has it been esablished that this lightbulb actually needs changing? > Sight, please?” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-does-it-take-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/255280.md?page=3)