# How Many Dopers Would It Take To Change A Light Bulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720 "2012-12-02T01:15:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/21 "2012-12-02T04:09:33Z")
It would take at least three, and that’s just for the celebratory meal after the job is completed. One to prepare a sumptuous feast of exotic tapas, cooked exactly the way they were prepared on their recent trip to Seville, a trip that was mentioned in at least 18 different SDMB threads, including before, _during,_ and after the trip itself. (including popular favorites like “I am going to Spain next month, can anyone recommend a good corkscrew to bring with me?”, “I am now in Spain, how much should I tip the matador?”, “I had an amazing meal while on my recent trip to Spain, can anyone tell me what the little black and green spherical fruits with the pits, often soaked in a salty brine solution are called?”) One to complain that they have severe dietary restrictions, and can’t eat any meat (except for medium rare prime rib, but only if it’s organic, grass-fed beef, raised by Mennonite farmers who actively support Same Sex Marriage) or seafood (except for grilled swordfish, which also happens to be musical genius Kate Bush’s favorite meal) or vegetables, unless they have been grown in the Tuscan countryside. One to grandly proclaim that a meal of HIV-infected human feces would be more appetizing, more nutritious and more authentically Italian than anything available at the Olive Garden. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/22 "2012-12-02T04:14:49Z")
What are we trying to change it into? Shards of glass: 1 Doper. Gold: 42 Dopers, but it will take a while. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/23 "2012-12-02T04:17:20Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > It would take at least three, … Thank you good sir. I have not laughed this hard in a long time. In fact there are tears streaming down my cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/24 "2012-12-02T04:34:58Z")
if it’s the [Centennial bulb](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_bulb) it doesn’t need to be changed, it’s still burning. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/25 "2012-12-02T06:52:08Z")
I was changing lights \*before \*I went to kindergarten, and no one taught me how to. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/26 "2012-12-02T07:05:59Z")
I assume the OP means change it for a compact fluorescent and inadvertently forgot the customary [link](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3035/why-are-eco-fascists-trying-to-ban-incandescent-bulbs). ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/27 "2012-12-02T08:11:59Z")
Thomas Edison was a fraud who never invented anything :mad: ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/28 "2012-12-02T10:41:14Z")
It’s a trick question. Dopers are not concerned with how many of them it will take to change a light bulb, but rather how many light bulbs it will take to change _them_. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/29 "2012-12-02T11:01:17Z")
Sorry, we cannot answer the question----we don’t do homework problems. Also, IANALBC (I am not a light bulb changer) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/30 "2012-12-02T12:07:45Z")
IANAE, (I am not an electrician) I am not YOUR electrition, check local codes, YMMV… But seriously…what is wrong with you that you feel the need to change this lightbulb? You had better examine yourself first! And when come back please bring tungsten fillament\* ducks and runs as all the people supporting the other types of lights lash out at me. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/31 "2012-12-02T12:27:09Z")
1. Obtain light bulb 2. WTF 3)Hi Opal! 3. Profit ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/32 "2012-12-02T12:45:25Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Dump him or her, not them. :rolleyes: According to [Steven Pinker](http://www.amazon.com/The-Language-Instinct-Mind-Creates/dp/0061336467)"them" is acceptable. Steven doesn’t change light bulbs, though. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/33 "2012-12-02T17:22:12Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > According to [Steven Pinker](http://www.amazon.com/The-Language-Instinct-Mind-Creates/dp/0061336467)"them" is acceptable. > > Steven doesn’t change light bulbs, though. They don’t? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/34 "2012-12-02T17:32:55Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > 1. Obtain light bulb > 2. WTF > 3)Hi Opal! > 3. Profit Ugh ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/35 "2012-12-02T17:43:07Z")
:rolleyes: DMark, I see from the way you phrased the question that you are very “old school” on the subject. Have you even considered whether it _ **really wants to change?** _ ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/36 "2012-12-02T18:00:41Z")
> [@Trans Fat Og](#): > > :rolleyes: > Have you even considered whether it _ **really wants to change?** _ One-upping that, the Dopers don’t want to change it in the first place. And you can’t make us. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/37 "2012-12-02T18:02:08Z")
need answer fast? ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/38 "2012-12-02T18:10:42Z")
You’re falling into the common fallacy of equating the question to a simple matter of “lightbulb in - lightbulb out”. You make it sound as if willpower alone will produce the lighting result you want. In reality it is much more complicated and difficult to quantify exactly how one minor change in fixture-fulfillment will affect the long-term lighting conditions of a room. It depends on many factors, many of which are out of control of the individual. For example, genetics, glandular conditions, and cultural factors hard-wired in since childhood all serve to make it extraordinarily difficult for a given person to simply “lose the old lightbulb” and make it stick long-term. Obviously you have deep-seated hatred toward lightbulbs. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/39 "2012-12-02T18:35:46Z")
That’s a very misogynistic op. ---
**Author:** ![Fallsguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bb73d2/32.png) [@Fallsguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallsguy)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/40 "2012-12-02T19:05:27Z")
It would depend on how good the dope was. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720.md?page=3)