# How Many Dopers Would It Take To Change A Light Bulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720 "2012-12-02T01:15:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/81 "2012-12-04T02:23:17Z")
I’m gussing three – one to hold the bulb while the other two hold him and rotate. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/82 "2012-12-04T03:41:41Z")
Would you guys hurry up? I’m scared of the dark… -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/83 "2012-12-04T03:52:38Z")
Those. Fucking. Mods. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/84 "2012-12-04T03:56:34Z")
Three–two to hold the Recent Join Date down and one to screw the bulb in. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/85 "2012-12-04T04:29:23Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > No, a lamp is just one kind of fixture that a light bulb could be a a part of. For instance, a road sign may have many different light bulbs as components but none of them are ‘lamps’ at all. That does bring us to the inevitable question of what exactly a ‘light bulb’ refers to today? > > The name comes from incandescent glass spheres containing a filament of some type first invented in the late 1800’s. The glass bulb is essential not for producing light but for protecting the filament in a vacuum chamber. Without the glass sphere providing a vacuum, the filament will burn out extremely quickly (usually seconds or less). > > Scientists and inventors long knew how to produce light by passing an electric current through a filament. What they didn’t know how to do was to keep the filament from destroying itself quickly. Edison and others spent literally thousands of hours on experiments to improve the longevity of the filament using dozens of materials but the key step was to protect the filament from oxygen which is where the ‘bulb’ (not to be confused with the generic term ‘lamp’ becomes so critical). > > The glass bulb shaped vacuum chamber design proved to be the most practical not only for its effectiveness at generating light but also because of its ease of mass manufacture. This design proved to be remarkably robust for well over a century but its dominance is quickly drawing to a close. > > That brings us to the question of what a light ‘bulb’ actually means today. Incandescent bulbs are being phased out as consumer products in the U.S. and Europe because their main product is not light but heat and that is incredibly energy inefficient. Newer technologies like LED (light emitting diodes) and compact florescent ‘bulbs’ don’t often have a bulb shape at all yet we continue to refer to them as ‘bulbs’. > > I propose that we abandon all legacy terms like ‘bulb’ and ‘lamp’ and refer to them all as Photon Emitting Technologies (PETs) no matter what their shape. This switch would be much more progressive and embrace the inevitable march of progress while, at the same time, separating the newer clean PETs from the energy wasting light production mechanisms of the Anglo-Saxon white male patriarchy of the past. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/86 "2012-12-04T05:44:49Z")
I will pay you $500 if you won’t change that light bulb for a year. ---
**Author:** ![Postariti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Postariti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Postariti)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/87 "2012-12-04T07:52:23Z")
Call the police already! I’ve subscribed to this thread and I can’t believe it’s taking this long for anything to happen. Wait, has anyone heard from the OP lately? You don’t think something happened to him, do you? What if he tried to change that bulb without waiting for our advice? OP, be sure to let us know you’re ok! ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/88 "2012-12-04T12:05:28Z")
First he went to change the light bulb. Then he found an element of change _in_ the light bulb, and he’s spending that on hookers and blow. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/89 "2012-12-04T14:49:21Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Anyone with an IQ over 200 could do it. Ok smart guy, what’s your SAT scores? And how many lumen does YOUR light bulb have? ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/90 "2012-12-04T14:53:37Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Dump him or her, not them. :rolleyes: > > Anyway, we need to know if this is a typical incandescent bulb, or halogen, fluorescent, or perhaps LED? I don’t believe an LED light source qualifies as “a bulb”. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/91 "2012-12-04T15:13:47Z")
Your light bulb failure is the intent of the Military-Industrial Complex great Light Bulb Conspiracy. Here is the video to prove it. [http://vimeo.com/41567964](http://vimeo.com/41567964) ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/92 "2012-12-04T15:16:03Z")
I was able to read this thread when I was only 16 months old. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/93 "2012-12-04T15:29:55Z")
The Perfect Master [speaks](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3035/why-are-eco-fascists-trying-to-ban-incandescent-bulbs) ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/94 "2012-12-04T17:33:33Z")
> [@Postariti](#): > > Call the police already! I’ve subscribed to this thread and I can’t believe it’s taking this long for anything to happen. > > Wait, has anyone heard from the OP lately? You don’t think something happened to him, do you? What if he tried to change that bulb without waiting for our advice? OP, be sure to let us know you’re ok! Reuters December 4, 2012 **Las Vegas Man Still In The Dark!** ``` In the city known for its bright lights, one Las Vegas man is quietly sitting in the dark, waiting patiently for help. On December 1st, DMark noticed the light bulb in his living room lamp went out and he has been sitting in dark ever since. “It is very scary at night,” he admitted, adding “I don’t know what to do!” Appearing to be an attractive but rather dim man in the dim rays of light in the room, weakly emulating from a street lamp outside his house, DMark admitted that many are not taking his plea for help in changing the light bulb seriously. “I have reached out to a large Internet community to assist me in changing the bulb, but there seems to be no consensus as to how to go about doing it, nor offers to help. Because I don’t have any light, I can’t read the directions on how to change a light bulb on the package! If it weren’t for the glow of my screen, I wouldn’t even be able to read my book on my Nook.” When asked if he had asked for help elsewhere, he admitted he was at a loss. “They hung up when I called 911 and Social Services has said I have to go to their offices and fill out a form to get assistance, but how can I find my car keys if I don’t have any light?” So while hundreds of thousands of tourists are basking in the grand lights of the Las Vegas Strip, one Las Vegas resident is forced to sit in the dark, hoping for a just a glimmer of help from his Internet community. “I know they will come through for me eventually,” he said, with a small tear glistening on his cheek from the reflection of his Nook, “they are real smart people. If anyone can assist me in changing a light bulb, they can!” Donations to the SDMB (Some Dim Man’s Bulb) can be made via PayPal. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/95 "2012-12-04T18:47:09Z")
Ten. One to change the lightbulb and the other nine to start threads about how women only date jerks and not Nice Guys like them. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/96 "2012-12-04T18:55:23Z")
You’re forgetting the 2 other people asking “what exactly is a nice guy?” and then 9 other women to pit those nice guys and explain how nice guys aren’t actually nice but selfish entitled assholes who view sex as a right, not a privilege. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/97 "2012-12-04T18:58:21Z")
Just DTMFBulb already. It has already made it’s decision; it has chosen it’s slightest whim for darkness over your deep need for light. Nobody can do it for you, you have to decide that your own needs are worth fighting for. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/98 "2012-12-04T19:00:54Z")
righty - tighty lefty - loosey not sure watt it’s in response to any more:confused: ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/99 "2012-12-05T02:49:34Z")
> [@Engineer\_Dude](#): > > Ten. One to change the lightbulb and the other nine to start threads about how women only date jerks and not Nice Guys like them. That would be 13 if you include the three bozos who will start threads whining about the poor moderation in those threads. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720/100 "2012-12-05T02:51:15Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > righty - tighty > lefty - loosey > > not sure watt it’s in response to any more:confused: Does EVERY thread have to be about politics?! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-dopers-would-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/642720.md?page=6)