# How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907 "2003-08-27T04:31:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/81 "2003-09-08T21:12:46Z")
“Keep watching the skies!” - _The Thing_ “Keep watching the skis!” - _Hans, WinterPark ski instructor_ ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/82 "2003-09-08T21:19:08Z")
1 to post how this thread reminded of the time their cute, fluffy kitty did something with a lightbulb, drawing 22 posts of how cute that was, and their own cute, fluffy kitty/light bulb stories, and several others from posters who hate cute, fluffy kitties, who are then called assholes by the cute, fluffy kitty lovers. I didn’t see this one: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? 1. One holds the ladder, one goes up the ladder with a bulb, and the other seven drink 'til the room spins around the bulb. How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? The exact answer cannot be determined as they don’t actually “do” things like changing lightbulbs. However, several will issue press releases regarding the failure of the existing bulb, seek appropriations for light bulb factories in their respective legislative districts, Arlen Specter will call for a commission to be empaneled to study the facts surrounding the failure, eventually releasing the ‘Lone Bulb Theory’ report, Democrats will lobby for more bulbs for inner city housing projects, Republicans will lobby for increased Government Regulation of Light Bulb manufacture, Lyndon Larouche will claim that the bulb never even burned out, and that the whole thing is a conspiracy, while Al Gore will take credit for inventing the light bulb. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/83 "2003-09-09T01:33:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Moe \* > \*\*What seems particularly odd to me is that, with dietary habits such as you describe, this guy would be so concerned about his caloric intake as to prefer _light_ bulbs. \*\* The light bulbs were the feature of the on-stage act. In between stage appearances he would sit in a corner, biting off the heads of live chickens and eat the heads which were the mainstay of his overall diet. You could probably say he was a bloody a… h…! ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/84 "2003-09-09T03:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? > > Five. One to screw in the light bulb, and four to share the experience. Nah. Californians don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Jacuzzis. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/85 "2003-09-09T05:11:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AndrewT \* > \*\*Nah. Californians don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Jacuzzis. \*\* _rim-shot_ ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/86 "2003-09-09T10:32:50Z")
I believe you missed one, Flamsterette: Why does it take 6 women with PMT to screw in a lightbulb? BECAUSE IT JUST DOES, ALRIGHT?!! ---
**Author:** ![AussieSven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AussieSven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AussieSven)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/87 "2003-09-09T11:04:10Z")
One to point out that this thread has been chosen in Threadspotting… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/88 "2003-09-09T12:36:34Z")
12 to provide links to photos to their unique lightbulbs. 17 to ask where they got their unique lightbulbs. 29 to post ebay auctions for totally unique lightbulbs. 13 to say “Boy, some people will buy anything on ebay.” 7 to complain about the links not working. 5 to post things that were posted earlier in the very long lightbulb thread. 2 to scream “READ THE WHOLE THREAD BEFORE YOU POST.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/89 "2003-09-09T12:46:32Z")
Has anyone yet pointed out that “Changing Light Bulbs” would make a great BAND NAME!? ---
**Author:** ![radsmats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9bd4f/32.png) [@radsmats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/radsmats)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/90 "2003-09-09T14:40:46Z")
> [@](#): > > 7 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive 7 … that should be to condemn those 7 as anal retentive, not 6, definitely 7 ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/91 "2003-09-10T13:51:57Z")
**Flamsterette** missed two more: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1. Fish. 2. Two. One to paint the giraffe, and another to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools. How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb? … ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/92 "2003-09-10T21:59:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jennyrosity \* > \*\*I believe you missed one, Flamsterette: > Why does it take 6 women with PMT to screw in a lightbulb? > > BECAUSE IT JUST DOES, ALRIGHT?!! \*\* That one wasn’t in my book, sorry. And I believe you mean **PMS** … unless you mean “PMT” as in “ **P** re- **M** enstrual **T** ension.” 😉 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Hoopy Frood_ > \*\*Flamsterette missed two more: > > How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? > > 1. Fish. > 2. Two. One to paint the giraffe, and another to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools. > > How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb? > > …\*\* Hey, the “surrealists” one sounds like what I had for Salvador Dali. Upon further reflection, it also sounds like what I had for the modern artists. Similar stuff, anyhow… F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/93 "2003-09-10T22:19:05Z")
How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb? One. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/94 "2003-09-10T22:53:19Z")
The answer to the Zen Masters one is on the first page 🙂 1 to go ‘what’s this “when come back, bring pie” thingy all about?’ wait for it… what’s this ‘when come back, bring pie’ thingy about? ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/95 "2003-09-11T00:27:13Z")
1 to provide the necessary [link](http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/pie.htm) to answer a previous poster’s inquiry. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/96 "2003-09-11T08:26:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Moe \* > \*\*1 to provide the necessary [link](http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/pie.htm) to answer a previous poster’s inquiry. \*\* That was surreal! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/97 "2003-09-11T10:25:37Z")
A rather longer version of the PMS gag runs: One. ONE! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because NO-ONE ELSE even KNOWS where the spare light-bulbs are KEPT!! They would sit there in the the dark, straining their eyes and going BLIND for THREE DAYS before they FIGURED it OUT!!! And even if by SOME MIRACLE they managed to FIND the dumb BULBS, TWO WEEKS LATER the chair they dragged through from the dining room to STAND ON would STILL BE THERE, UNDER the LIGHT SOCKET! And underneath it would be the WRAPPER the DAMN BULB came in! Because NO-ONE EVER PICKS UP RUBBISH IN THIS HOUSE! The house! THE HOUSE! DO NOT GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE HOUSE!!! It would take an EARTH MOVER to pick up the PILES OF RUBBISH that are 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THIS HOUSE!!! Chocolate, chocolate, I need chocolate, WHERE is my CHOCOLATE, I HAD a BAR of CHOCOLATE RIGHT IN THIS DRAWER, I will PERSONALLY rip out and EAT the LIVER of whoever took my chocolate… oh, here it is… DAMN it’s all MELTED at the CORNER and the WRAPPER is all ripped, I can’t eat this, oh GOD I am going to be SICK NOW… So anyway, I saw this cute little pair of shoes in Sears, they’d be just the thing for my new formal and they were only $24.95. What were we talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/98 "2003-09-11T10:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Plankspanker \* > \*\*The answer to the Zen Masters one is on the first page 🙂 \*\* That was Zen Buddhists. The true Zen Master knows that there is no definitive answer. That the answer must be found inside oneself–like the sound of one-hand clapping. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/99 "2003-09-11T19:25:55Z")
Ah, i feel like i now (dont) know. thankyou **Frood**. 1 poster to hijack and say ' **Gemma** , that was über-surreal. and very cool. ;j ’ ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907/100 "2003-09-17T05:41:29Z")
One to bump the thread a week later for no good reason. _[evil laugh]_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-forum-posters-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/197907.md?page=6)