# How Many Hot Buttons Can You Count In This Story? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 23, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166 "2005-01-23T00:05:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/1 "2005-01-23T00:05:21Z")
From The Boston Globe, this saga of [the downtrodden rising up against officialdom’s oppression:](http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/01/22/after_assault_city_rushes_to_support_meter_maids/) > [@](#): > > City officials pledged yesterday to make an example of the man accused of hurling a large cup of hot coffee into the face of a Boston meter maid. Mayor Thomas M. Menino expressed particular concern about the incident, and city transportation officials mobilized to educate the public so there is not a resurgence in attacks on the workers. > > In the third reported physical assault on a Boston parking enforcement officer this year, Francois Youhanna, 37, is charged with assault with a deadly weapon by intentionally scalding 44-year-old Christi Noviello after she gave him a $55 ticket Wednesday morning for parking his black Hummer in a loading zone while he ran into a Back Bay Starbucks. 1. Parking in a no parking area – check. 2. Doing it with an SUV, a Hummer, no less – check. 3. In pursuit of overhyped, overpriced designer coffee – check. 4. Assaulting an underpaid person in a shitty job for doing what she’s suuposed to – check. Oh, and the guy is 6 foot 2 while the woman is described as “small-framed”. And besides, he was only parked there for a moment! > [@](#): > > Noviello, a small-framed woman who appeared stunned by the parade of cameras around her, said there was no way Youhanna spilled his coffee by mistake after slipping on the ice, as he told arresting officers. "He said, ‘I was only gone for a second,’ " she recalled. “He walked away a little. Then he walked back, and the next thing he did was flip his coffee on me.” So, here he is, folks, Francois Youhanna, crusading rebel against the jackbooted oppression of authority. Isn’t he something? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/2 "2005-01-23T00:09:20Z")
Oh, I almost forgot the obligatory Pitriol: May rqabid llamas with end-state syphilis piss in his Starbucks double latte. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/3 "2005-01-23T00:13:46Z")
…and stand about in a circle, glowering threateningly, until he downs it… [Monty] _Cuidado, Cuidado, Cuidado, Cuidado…son poxed llamas!.._ [/Monty] ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/4 "2005-01-23T00:17:50Z")
Since when is hot cofee a deadly weapon? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/5 "2005-01-23T00:26:39Z")
I take it you never drank any Starbucks coffee? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/6 "2005-01-23T00:29:38Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Since when is hot cofee a deadly weapon? I’m a little surprised they didn’t call it a [destructive device](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288432&highlight=destructive+device). Those Boston bureaucrats have let themselves fall behind on the latest legal lingo. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/7 "2005-01-23T02:02:01Z")
Boston, Boston, Boston, whining about some random crank assaulting a meter maid… Here in NYC, our [State Senators](http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/273800p-234504c.html) assault traffic agents, then demand apologies! Buncha amateurs. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/8 "2005-01-23T02:17:20Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > From The Boston Globe, this saga of [the downtrodden rising up against officialdom’s oppression:](http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/01/22/after_assault_city_rushes_to_support_meter_maids/) > > 1. Parking in a no parking area – check. > 2. Doing it with an SUV, a Hummer, no less – check. > 3. In pursuit of overhyped, overpriced designer coffee – check. > 4. Assaulting an underpaid person in a shitty job for doing what she’s suuposed to – check. > > Oh, and the guy is 6 foot 2 while the woman is described as “small-framed”. And besides, he was only parked there for a moment! > > So, here he is, folks, Francois Youhanna, crusading rebel against the jackbooted oppression of authority. Isn’t he something? I don’t get it. In the first part it sounds like you’re lambasting the driver and at the end you seem to be making the point that the meter maid is ‘the man’ and bringing the driver down. And all the ‘hot button’ items are perfectly legitimate for the who, what, where, when, how, why of the story. And their stuff the reporter can put in to be easily pulled if space demands. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/9 "2005-01-23T02:26:48Z")
My take on **ETF** ’s last sentence was an expression full of sarcasm. Mebbe I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/10 "2005-01-23T02:26:52Z")
I think she’s Pitting the slant of the story, which is not overdone but is definitely slightly less than totally objective. Not that I disagree with the slant! – but the point (IMO) is that the story was written from a less-than-unbiased stance. Their relative sizes, his driving a Hummer and stopping in a no-parking area in front of a Starbuck’s – all factual but not essential to the basic story: Man hurls hot coffee at parking EO for giving him a ticket, and all together add up to portray him in a negative light. Although honestly, if I were writing the story I’d have probably done it the same way. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/11 "2005-01-23T02:36:43Z")
> [@](#): > > May rqabid llamas with end-state syphilis piss in his Starbucks double latte. Just wanted to point out that Starbucks charges 75 cents extra if you want syphilitic llama piss in your latte. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/12 "2005-01-23T02:46:31Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Just wanted to point out that Starbucks charges 75 cents extra if you want syphilitic llama piss in your latte. Dammit! But it is non-fat half-caff syphilitic llama piss, right? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/13 "2005-01-23T02:49:18Z")
Yeah, and they foam it. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/14 "2005-01-23T02:52:12Z")
People, people, let’s go with the obvious – I was Pitting the asshole driver. It amused me that so many hot-button topics were rolled up into one story. After all, how many Pit threads have we seen where people go off on SUV drivers, no-parking-zone parkers, jerks with a massive case of entitlement assholery, and so forth? But the essence of the Pitting is that the driver is a stupid thug. He broke the law, got caught, and escalated a minor infraction into a felony assault. The “jackbooted oppression” stuff was blatant sarcasm, and I’ve been trying to wean myself off of smilies lately, or I’d have been flinging :rolleyes: all over the damned thread. **Polycarp** , my dumpling, if you think the Boston Globe story was a bit slanted, well… that’s the local respectable (if somewhat liberal-leaning) broadsheet newspaper. You want slanted, take a look at our dear little tabloid, [the Boston Herald](http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=64733), whose article on the story (good for a huge front-page headline) has a darling photo of an enraged Mayor Menino as an added goodie. Oh, and **El Kabong** , the llama piss goes for $1.25 extra if you include the rabies. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/15 "2005-01-23T02:52:13Z")
Don’t ask how. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/16 "2005-01-23T02:53:27Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > Don’t ask how. re:the foam ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/17 "2005-01-23T02:55:03Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > Yeah, and they foam it. Before or after it comes out of the llama? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/18 "2005-01-23T03:06:22Z")
1. He’s got a name that sounds like “France”. Hang 'im! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/19 "2005-01-23T04:10:09Z")
This is the most I’ve ever laughed at Straight Dope without being drunk. ---
**Author:** ![aurelian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f4b2a3/32.png) [@aurelian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurelian)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166/20 "2005-01-23T04:23:56Z")
This story is indeed impressive, but it lacks two important elements: -cigarettes -cellular phone [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-hot-buttons-can-you-count-in-this-story/286166.md?page=2)