# How many kitty cats would it take to kill a person? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 26, 2025, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418 "2025-09-26T16:45:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/21 "2025-09-26T20:03:23Z")
How many moles in a fuckton? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/TTgxWlKeEYo/maxresdefault.jpg "Fuckton Of Cats - feat. Rachel Bloom - 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend'") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTgxWlKeEYo) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/22 "2025-09-26T20:11:29Z")
Wasn’t the host Coburn, in a rare television appearance? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/23 "2025-09-26T20:14:14Z")
25 shitloads. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/24 "2025-09-26T20:41:10Z")
In early Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, house cats were infamous for being able to do an average 4 points of damage if their two claw and one bite attacks all hit, whereas the typical commoner serf or townsperson had maybe 3 health points. So a standard cat could one shot a standard human. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/25 "2025-09-26T20:50:07Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > One is all you need, if you trip over the little bugger as it insists on getting between your legs, and you trip and fall and break your neck. This was a serious possibility until recently, when Rascal stopped getting underfoot. I suspect his hyperthyroidism is making him less active, as he’s spending more of his time napping. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/26 "2025-09-26T21:28:17Z")
When I used to climb the stairs 28 times a day, a dog in my pocket, two trailing and two cats slipping up behind I stop at the landing and say “Cats take the high road. Please” they’d scramble up the wide handrail, jump to the cupboard at the top if the stairs and watch. Creepily. Hoping I’d kill myself tripping over dogs. Plausible deniability. Smarty pants cats! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/27 "2025-09-26T21:39:49Z")
Goodness, I don’t need that many cats. > [@Jophiel](#): > > So a standard cat could one shot a standard human. “I cast a healing spell of Penicillium!” ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/28 "2025-09-26T21:46:53Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Goodness, I don’t need that many cats. Well, you said: > [@susan](#): > > I would like to be killed by the highest number of kitty cats possible. [![](https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUyc3BwcGM5dWZ0and2NGJsdHNrd2kycGUxbDk5eW02MTFkdXZzNWF5cyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/fSGqUm3IcVBESFM0hK/200.gif) ](https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTZjMDliOTUyc3BwcGM5dWZ0and2NGJsdHNrd2kycGUxbDk5eW02MTFkdXZzNWF5cyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/fSGqUm3IcVBESFM0hK/200.gif) ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/29 "2025-09-26T21:48:24Z")
True. But the mole calculation assumes that there are that many cats available. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/30 "2025-09-26T23:10:14Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I’m so ashamed I posted this… What’s easier to unload, a truck full of bricks, or a truck full of cats? Cats, because you can use a pitchfork. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/31 "2025-09-26T23:17:04Z")
It only takes one. [![](https://imgcdn.stablediffusionweb.com/2024/10/15/c14d5f4a-30ed-4b2e-a3d9-5dd760a69d58.jpg) ](https://imgcdn.stablediffusionweb.com/2024/10/15/c14d5f4a-30ed-4b2e-a3d9-5dd760a69d58.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/32 "2025-09-26T23:26:28Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > They are timing out what they are going to do when you are at the top step. 😈 Yep, very like what I thought. One well-placed cat toy near the top of the stair… Fortunately, I have a wonderful relationship with our two family kitties. For now…? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/33 "2025-09-26T23:29:11Z")
Might it depend on the individual’s appetite? Or more likely, the size of the cats? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2025, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/34 "2025-09-26T23:58:17Z")
One cat can do the trick. > **[Grandmother Falls Into Coma and Dies After Lick From Pet Cat](https://www.newsweek.com/grandmother-coma-dies-lick-pet-cat-1515986)** > > Medical staff diagnosed the woman with bacterial meningitis caused by the bacteria pasteurella multocida. Being around feral cats [can also be risky](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/74/wr/mm7431a2.htm). Maybe this cat [was just in a bad mood](https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/stray-cat-suspected-in-attempted-murder-of-bedridden-japanese-woman/1xz11uyog). ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/35 "2025-09-27T00:11:46Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Nitpick: this was only one dino. Your memory is playing tricks on you. Here’s the scene. Yeah, you’re right. I thought some more snuck in the open door. But what was he going to do with the winch? Pull himself down the waterfall? ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/36 "2025-09-27T00:20:37Z")
Your cat is thinking about killing you right now! And tomorrow, and the next day. Make sure that feed bowl is full and they can’t see the bottom. If they can see the bottom of the bowl, you are in great danger. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/37 "2025-09-27T00:39:08Z")
Don’t buy commercial cat treats. That crap is Kitty Crack. They get addicted immediately and addiction, as we know can cause one to become violent, inexplicably. If you’re close, well…I hope you have your estate planning done. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/38 "2025-09-27T00:48:34Z")
One, if you’re allergic enough. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/39 "2025-09-27T06:22:40Z")
Well, this turned out to be shockingly timely. > **[Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Tap Tap](http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/tap-tap)** > > Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Tap Tap ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2025, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418/40 "2025-09-27T06:32:22Z")
The title reminds me of an Avengers TV show (the REAL Avengers, John Steed and Emma Peel) wherein important people were receiving threats that they would be killed by jaguars or something, so they protected them by putting them inside steel cages that no large cat could get through, and they were torn to shreds anyway. Turns out (spoiler alert) that the attack cats were house kitties trained to kill, and they just went between the bars. I don’t remember how many attack kitties they used. I’m sure the plot that I can’t remember well made perfect sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-kitty-cats-would-it-take-to-kill-a-person/1023418.md?page=3)