How many moles in a fuckton?
Wasn’t the host Coburn, in a rare television appearance?
25 shitloads.
In early Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, house cats were infamous for being able to do an average 4 points of damage if their two claw and one bite attacks all hit, whereas the typical commoner serf or townsperson had maybe 3 health points. So a standard cat could one shot a standard human.
This was a serious possibility until recently, when Rascal stopped getting underfoot. I suspect his hyperthyroidism is making him less active, as he’s spending more of his time napping.
When I used to climb the stairs 28 times a day, a dog in my pocket, two trailing and two cats slipping up behind I stop at the landing and say “Cats take the high road. Please” they’d scramble up the wide handrail, jump to the cupboard at the top if the stairs and watch. Creepily. Hoping I’d kill myself tripping over dogs.
Plausible deniability. Smarty pants cats!
Goodness, I don’t need that many cats.
“I cast a healing spell of Penicillium!”
Well, you said:
True. But the mole calculation assumes that there are that many cats available.
What’s easier to unload, a truck full of bricks, or a truck full of cats?
Cats, because you can use a pitchfork.
It only takes one.
Yep, very like what I thought. One well-placed cat toy near the top of the stair…
Fortunately, I have a wonderful relationship with our two family kitties.
For now…?
Might it depend on the individual’s appetite? Or more likely, the size of the cats?
One cat can do the trick.
Being around feral cats can also be risky.
Maybe this cat was just in a bad mood.
Yeah, you’re right. I thought some more snuck in the open door. But what was he going to do with the winch? Pull himself down the waterfall?
Your cat is thinking about killing you right now! And tomorrow, and the next day. Make sure that feed bowl is full and they can’t see the bottom. If they can see the bottom of the bowl, you are in great danger.
Don’t buy commercial cat treats.
That crap is Kitty Crack. They get addicted immediately and addiction, as we know can cause one to become violent, inexplicably.
If you’re close, well…I hope you have your estate planning done. 
One, if you’re allergic enough.
Well, this turned out to be shockingly timely.
The title reminds me of an Avengers TV show (the REAL Avengers, John Steed and Emma Peel) wherein important people were receiving threats that they would be killed by jaguars or something, so they protected them by putting them inside steel cages that no large cat could get through, and they were torn to shreds anyway. Turns out (spoiler alert) that the attack cats were house kitties trained to kill, and they just went between the bars. I don’t remember how many attack kitties they used.
I’m sure the plot that I can’t remember well made perfect sense.