# How many living persons do you truly, deeply love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577 "2009-04-28T01:22:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/1 "2009-04-28T01:22:38Z")
For purposes of this discussion, I shall define the term “truly, deeply love” as meaning “be willing to give that person a desperately-needed organ transplant even after the doctors say that the odds of **you** surviving this operation are, at best, 10%, and that’s assuming Jesus, Buddha, AND Superman are all on your side, and even though you and the recipient have been arguing for days and they still won’t admit to being wrong.” Only living persons, please. For me, the answer is six: my wife, my stepdaughter, my favorite niece, my favorite sister, my best friend from college, and my father. ETA: on further thought, 5 and a half. It kinda varies with my dad. Anybody else? ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/2 "2009-04-28T01:30:30Z")
zero. probably about 3 that I like a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/3 "2009-04-28T01:38:29Z")
My wife, my son . . . maybe my best friend. So 3 at best, but definitely 2. But that’s because your conditions are pretty extreme. I have several friends whom I really, really like and care for, and my siblings are ok sometimes I guess. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/4 "2009-04-28T01:45:09Z")
Hmm. Lemme see … Family - 4 kids, Hubby, 4 siblings, 5 neices/nephews. Dad & his lady. I would have done it for my ex’s Mom but she’s passed. One of Hubby’s sisters. Friends: my one bestest friend in the world. So, that makes 17. Well maybe add one-half for my ex. ---
**Author:** ![Waffle\_Decider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/77aa72/32.png) [@Waffle\_Decider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waffle_Decider)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/5 "2009-04-28T02:02:58Z")
Zero. I can say I truly, deeply love my dad, and I’ll be willing to do a lot for him, but I think your conditions are a bit harsh. At the risk of sounding cruel, he is, um, kind of old. It would not be logical for me to undergo an operation that I most likely will not survive so that he can live. I’d do it if the odds are different, however, say if there’s a 10% chance that I’ll die instead of 10% chance that I’ll live. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/6 "2009-04-28T02:03:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > For purposes of this discussion, I shall define the term “truly, deeply love” as meaning “be willing to give that person a desperately-needed organ transplant even after the doctors say that the odds of **you** surviving this operation are, at best, 10%, and that’s assuming Jesus, Buddha, AND Superman are all on your side, and even though you and the recipient have been arguing for days and they still won’t admit to being wrong.” Two, my wife and daughter. I truly do love my best friend, sister, et al., but I love my wife and daughter more and they need me, so the only people I can morally give up my life for is those two. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/7 "2009-04-28T02:06:45Z")
I find myself rather surprised to say 4. One is my sister. I don’t even want to say who the other 3 are while I think about this some more. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/8 "2009-04-28T02:08:16Z")
My son is a definite. My wife is a serious maybe. I love my brother and my mom, but I don’t know that I’d risk my life to save them; I have to stay alive as long as possible for my boy. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/9 "2009-04-28T02:09:07Z")
Wife, kids, best friend = five for me. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/10 "2009-04-28T02:24:59Z")
Wow. That is an absolute zero. I want to _live_. I would absolutely consider my SO if there was a higher chance of surviving, but I don’t want to give up my life for anyone. Please note I do not have children. The answer might be different in that case. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/11 "2009-04-28T02:34:24Z")
I can say that I truly, deeply love two people in the world (my brother and my best friend K), but the only one I would consider basically giving my life for would be my brother. He is my best friend in the world; he always, always has my back. He spends his time cracking jokes and making me laugh, because he knows it makes me happy and brightens my day a little. I love him more than anyone else I’ve ever known or probably will ever know. I feel like he is such a big part of me, and I don’t know what I would ever do without him. So, yes, I believe if it came to that, I would risk my life for him because I wouldn’t want to live without him in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/12 "2009-04-28T02:39:11Z")
1, maybe. My best friend I would do a lot for him but trading my life for his, I think I look around for one of his family members to take the hit instead. My dad is too old and that would be the only other person that I would even consider that kind of deal with. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/13 "2009-04-28T03:08:34Z")
1. Ex-girlfriend. I haven’t spoken to her since the breakup (oh who am I kidding, she just dumped me like a bad idea) but I still love her more than I have loved anything in my life. ---
**Author:** ![Teaira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9d8465/32.png) [@Teaira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teaira)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/14 "2009-04-28T04:07:18Z")
My brother, definitely. My dad, maybe. He’s pretty old though… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/15 "2009-04-28T13:45:33Z")
Two. SWMBO and my sister. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/16 "2009-04-28T13:59:45Z")
I can’t use your definition of truly deeply loving, but using my definition, probably just my mom. I would miss my brother and my father but thinking of being without mom is a crippling thought. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/17 "2009-04-28T14:05:04Z")
10% chance of my survival? My daughter. That’s it. Raise that up to 25%, and you can add my dad. He’d have made the original cut, if I weren’t just a tiny bit afraid of an afterlife where he’d kick my ass forever for doing such a stupid thing. Raise it up to 50%, and you can add my best friend and her kids, up to 75%, add her husband, and maybe even her sister and mom (I like them better than my sister and mom, anyway). You can also add my boyfriend to that range. Love him, but I haven’t known him nearly as long as everyone else I’d consider this for. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/18 "2009-04-28T14:42:24Z")
Hm. My mom. My sister. One friend. The caveat with my mom, however, is that she would very, _very_ much not want me to do it. And dying is easy; living with guilt is hard. I would hew to _her_ wishes on that, whatever they might be, and no matter how badly **I** might want her to stay around. My brother comes close to making the cut, but he’s my half-brother, and we didn’t grow up together. One other friend also comes very close to it. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/19 "2009-04-28T14:43:10Z")
With those conditions? Wife and daughter. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577/20 "2009-04-28T15:04:17Z")
So, deeply and truly loving someone = an essentially suicidal transplant. I had no idea the bar was that high. I doubt I’d do it for my wife, under these rather absurd conditions. She wouldn’t want me to, and I don’t think she’s any more favorably disposed to living without me than I am to living without her. So, the bitch has to die and leave me alone. I’d do it for my kids, though. No one else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-living-persons-do-you-truly-deeply-love/494577.md?page=2)