# How many names for the male "member" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106 "2000-07-19T16:14:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/1 "2000-07-19T16:14:31Z")
I hope I don’t get in trouble for this, but it’s no worse than squicking (blegh). Purlpe Headed Yogurt Slinger One eyed trouser snake… heehee I know it’s potty humor, but I can’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/2 "2000-07-19T16:29:37Z")
Don’t tell me this is too perverse for even the Straight dopers?!? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/3 "2000-07-19T16:32:00Z")
Too perverse? Never. Too stupid? Sure. Really, though. I thought it was one eyed trouser trout. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/4 "2000-07-19T16:40:42Z")
Ouch, silver, that hurt. I still love you though. I never heard of the trouser trout. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/5 "2000-07-19T16:43:51Z")
I counted once and me an my friend came up with over a hundred names for male anatomy and nearly that many for female anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/6 "2000-07-19T16:47:23Z")
Lee, then please share your wealth of knowledge. From reading your past posts, I hoped you would have something good to share here. \ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/7 "2000-07-19T16:50:19Z")
Weiner trouser python schvantz Percy the bald avenger(from _The War of the Roses_ schlong Willie, the One-eyed Wonder Worm ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/8 "2000-07-19T16:52:57Z")
Remebering from the song… Mutton Daggar Old Blind Bob Hanging Johnny Fishing Rod One eyed trouser trout Ding dong Ankle Spanker Pork Sword Kidney Cracker Engine Cranker Hairy Hot dog Purple Helmet Warrior ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/9 "2000-07-19T17:35:40Z")
It only has one name - Winky! :looking down: Isn’t that right Winky? \ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/10 "2000-07-19T17:49:17Z")
You’re supposed to CALL it something? Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years . . . ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/11 "2000-07-19T18:22:37Z")
Maybe you don’t have to call Mr. Knish anything, just refer to him as such. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/12 "2000-07-19T19:52:56Z")
From the Monty Python song: “Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis/Isn’t it frightfully good to have a _dong_?” And from my own recollections: Percy One-Eyed Trouser Snake Meat Missle F\*ckstick Pud Cock Meat Dick Frank (as in Frank ‘n’ Beans) Twig (as in Twig ‘n’ Berries) Tassel (usually used when referring to infant males) Willy Weiner Peppy (from Multiplicity “She touched my peppy, Steve”) Tallywhacker Johnson Peter Flugal Horn (my sweetie said this one) Thermometer Thunder Hammer (this one came from Gauntlet) The Beast The Creature (from _Pump Up The Volume_, “The Creature stirs!”) Monty (as in _Monty Python_) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/13 "2000-07-19T19:57:14Z")
Hey Ed, “bent it?!? We damn near broke the thing off” Remember that? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/14 "2000-07-19T20:09:05Z")
Try this, it’s this thread put to the tune of Billy Joel’s _We didn’t start the fire_ [http://www.goofball.com/media/petnames.html](http://www.goofball.com/media/petnames.html) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/15 "2000-07-19T20:44:25Z")
From George Carlin’s Incomplete List of Impolite Words: Dick, prick, dork, dong, tongue, donicker, dingus, wang, schlong, schwantz, putz, pork, pecker, peter, prong, tool, rod, hammer, shaft, stick, snake, knob, lob, stem, root, joint, piece, gun, meat, beef, pork (sic), weenie, skin flute, meat whistle, tallywhacker, middle leg, short arm, rod of love, Mr. Goodwrench, joystick, love muscle, ding-dong, tube steak, pink pencil, bald-headed mouse, trouser snake, the one-eyed wonder worm. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/16 "2000-07-19T22:02:30Z")
IIRC, the Monty Python “Penis Song” (which is _not_ the Noel Coward Song, or rather is the “Not the Noel Coward Song” song) goes like this: Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong? It’s swell to have a stiffy! It’s devine to own a dick! From the tiniest little tadger To the world’s biggest prick! So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas! Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake! Your piece of pork Your wife’s best friend Your Percy or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock! ## But don’t take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won’t a-come a-back. Pete Long time RGMWer and ardent AOLer ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/17 "2000-07-19T22:24:14Z")
The spousel unit and I named him Wally. After all, who was around Wally the most? The Beav, of course! I guess if I ever decide to become gay, I’ll have to look for a ‘friend’ who is willing to name his Eddie Haskell or something. _“Ward, weren’t you a little hard the beav last night?” - J. Cleaver_ ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/18 "2000-07-19T22:42:10Z")
I honestly never understood would give it a name. Is it sorta like talking to plants? Are you trying to make it grow? ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/19 "2000-07-19T22:43:32Z")
er, “Understood why someone would”. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/20 "2000-07-19T22:48:25Z")
I’ve always been fond of the term “Wrestling the bald-headed Champ” myself… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106.md?page=2)