# How many names for the male "member" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106 "2000-07-19T16:14:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/21 "2000-07-19T23:30:47Z")
> [@](#): > > How many names for the male “member” When a member is especially impressive and all-around wonderful, it sometimes is known as a “moderator.” ---
**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/22 "2000-07-20T01:19:18Z")
My fiance, Chris says that I can name it anything I want after we got married. I’m still thinking of names. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left, so I better get thinkin’. These names are great. my choices so far: Herbert George Wilbur Shaka Zulu Paco Bubba What do you think? (sorry if it is a bit off subject.) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/23 "2000-07-20T10:40:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tubagirl \* > \*\*My fiance, Chris says that I can name it anything I want after we got married. I’m still thinking of names. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left, so I better get thinkin’. These names are great. > > my choices so far: > > Herbert > George > Wilbur > Shaka Zulu > Paco > Bubba > What do you think? (sorry if it is a bit off subject.) \*\* Just don’t go with: “Tiny Tim” “Stumpy” “Peggy Lee” (or whoever it was who sang “Is that all there is?”) ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/24 "2000-07-20T13:34:03Z")
Salty the skinless cat ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/25 "2000-07-20T13:37:20Z")
Hahahaha, this is good stuff. It’s childish, immature, potty humor… And I love it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/26 "2000-07-20T13:42:32Z")
I’m so glad no one else used this name yet - my all time favorite: **The Heat Seeking Moisture Missle** ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/27 "2000-07-20T13:53:42Z")
I had a fraternity brother in college who was black and had a, well, let’s see here, an incredibly large “member.” (You get 12 men living together in a house with 2 bathrooms, modesty quickly gets shown the door). He called his “The Ebony Love Python.” He used to tell women, “Easy, baby, it can sense fear.” ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/28 "2000-07-20T13:55:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enright3 \* > \*\*The spousel unit and I named him Wally. > > After all, who was around Wally the most? The Beav, of course! > > I guess if I ever decide to become gay, I’ll have to look for a ‘friend’ who is willing to name his Eddie Haskell or something. > > _“Ward, weren’t you a little hard the beav last night?” - J. Cleaver_ \*\* As long as you don’t name it Lumpy…you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/29 "2000-07-20T14:11:56Z")
I always favored “my penis.” ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/30 "2000-07-20T14:37:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*I always favored “my penis.” \*\* Frankly, I always favored _mine_. ::rimshot:: Did you all ever notice that there seem to be different terms for “penis”, “boobs”, “having sex” and “throwing up” than just about anything else? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/31 "2000-07-20T18:42:11Z")
Cause you never saw mine. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/32 "2000-07-20T18:43:44Z")
Damn. Louis, you’re killing me here. This is a riot… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/33 "2000-07-20T18:52:24Z")
I always said either “Willie Johnson” or “John Thomas”. Can’t wait 'til I have a son! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/34 "2000-07-20T18:58:16Z")
Ummmm…SUnshine? If you really wanted to see one, you wouldn’t have to go out and have a little boy. There are other options you know…😉 ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/35 "2000-07-20T19:28:16Z")
Can’t believe no one’s piped up with **Mr. Happy** yet. Sua ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/36 "2000-07-20T19:31:25Z")
ChrisP…ewww. I meant I wanted to have a son so I could call his John Thomas a “Willie Johnson”! NOT so that I could LOOK at it! Besides, how can I see ypur John Thomas when you’re still fully clothed? (Or wearing an orange jockstrap, depending) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/37 "2000-07-20T19:36:55Z")
Because I’m wearing it backwards silly! ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/38 "2000-07-20T20:37:09Z")
Oohhhh…I thought you were holding a fire hose. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/39 "2000-07-20T20:41:32Z")
Yeah, right. I’d wear it as a neck tie, but I’m too afraid I’ll get a hard-on and snap my neck off. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-names-for-the-male-member/26106/40 "2000-07-20T20:53:14Z")
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