# How many posters on SDMB actually have credentials to prove how "smart" they are? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911 "2004-09-24T18:14:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/141 "2004-09-29T00:36:19Z")
If you’re asking me for a resume, then just e-mail me at my listed address and I’ll send you one (I don’t have one typed up right now, so give me a week or so–but I’ll get the references) Other than that, I’ve spent over four years working for Engineers in the employ of the US Air Force, some of which has been in less-than-ideal conditions, with more to come. You’ve got my word that I’m not going to comment on something I don’t know about [sub]but you may get an informed opinion or a smartass remark[/sub]. I know enough about enough to get by, but I’ll give you a no-shit answer on what I know. That’s it. Tripler Credentials be damned. Most of us have knowledge in places we never get black-and-white credit for. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/142 "2004-09-29T01:30:38Z")
> [@CBCD](#): > > **Jenaroph** - Alas! If only you belonged to [this organization](http://www.piping-dancing.org.nz/) you would be perfect! Is there nothing you can do? Alas, I live not in New Zealand. However, I did see a guy walking down the sidewalk playing the bagpipes just last week; that should count for _something_. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/143 "2004-09-29T01:33:43Z")
National Merit Scholarship For Academic Achievement. Top 1/10 of 1% of all High School Students In America, 1984. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/144 "2004-09-29T07:27:17Z")
Okay, here are some impressive credentials: I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening-wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; and when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college. * * * This allegedly was someone’s actual college application. An SDMB member posted something similar to this a few months ago and that’s how I heard about it. Here’s a cite: [http://www.aarons-jokes.com/joke-5091.shtml](http://www.aarons-jokes.com/joke-5091.shtml) ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/145 "2004-09-29T11:31:53Z")
I was really impressed, **wolf** until I re-read your post and noticed this following impossible contradiction: > [@](#): > > I write award-winning operas. > . . . > Children trust me. Now, I do not even believe you’ve spoken to Elvis. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/146 "2004-09-29T12:00:47Z")
I think I’ve got collitis. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/147 "2004-09-29T12:03:57Z")
Colitis? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/148 "2004-09-29T12:09:59Z")
> [@Boyo Jim](#): > > Twp things to prove my wit. > > 1. I qualify for MENSA. > 2. I haven’t joined MENSA. Three to prove _my_ wit: [ol] [li]I qualify for Mensa[/li][li]I didn’t join Mensa because I thought Mensans were arrogant[/li][li]I went to a Mensa party and joined for the good parties, vicious card playing, and lovely Mensan men! (Oh, Cabana Boy!😃 )[/li][/ol] CJ, card-carrying geek! ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911/149 "2004-09-29T12:13:13Z")
To pave the way to a new tomorrow, I have just enrolled as a student [here](http://ars.sdstate.edu/shearing/buffalo.htm). We Betazoid Empaths just love this stuff! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-posters-on-sdmb-actually-have-credentials-to-prove-how-smart-they-are/265911.md?page=7)