# How many sex partners is too many? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172 "2014-03-20T18:17:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/81 "2014-03-21T15:41:06Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Those two sentences, together, makes no sense as written, Nevada. How is mankind going extinct when we keep having unprotected sex and unexpected pregnancies? From other causes. Never from lack of procreation. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/82 "2014-03-21T15:46:18Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > I think they’re asking “in which range of numbers do you think lies the limit between acceptable and too many?”. OK thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/83 "2014-03-21T15:48:17Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Gotcha. A sci-fi scenario, then. Most species extinction events aren’t sci-fi. I suppose human extinction would be, by definition, regardless of the cause. So, yes, sci-fi, by definition. Or do you think humanity will last forever? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/84 "2014-03-21T15:59:07Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > 🙂 Thank you again, Mr. Carlin. > > Got a chip on your shoulder? Seems a bit pathetic. > > I have no doubt that many men make exaggerated claims. But I’m also sure that there are plenty of men with pretty high numbers, even if you just count their college years. I had one “patch” where I had what was, for me, a high count in just one six-month period, and I’m really not a player, not at all good at pickups or hookups. I know it was way lower than typical for a number of my friends who were particularly skilled at pickups. I do the math, and … yeah, it’s possible. That was back in the 70’s/80’s. My guess is the counts go up even faster today, but I wouldn’t know. My count has been 1 since 1986. I’m sure there are guys who hit the hundreds too. I know I referenced this board in my OP but I was mainly thinking about my college buddies who would make this exaggerated claim at all of 21 - 22 years old. Even for older folks it’s still hard for me to believe. Even a different woman every month which is only 12 women a year doesn’t sound like a whole lot but to keep that pace up for 10 or 20 years? I mean come on. There were no relationships during all that time when said stud muffin stayed monogamous for a while? If one really has the wherewithal to keep up such a crazy pace for decades, I think that makes you a borderline sociopath. Chip on my shoulder or no, that’s a hard pill for me to swallow. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/85 "2014-03-21T16:08:03Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > We–or something else–can kill ourselves off, of course. Or we’re all crushed dead by an errant joke. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/86 "2014-03-21T16:15:00Z")
Too many for what? For me to sleep with? For someone to avoid being stoned as an adulterer? To avoid serious chafing issues? As other people have said there are a lot of factors playing into the calculation, but as a general guideline, I’d say N+ 20%, with N being the number of partners the person making the call has had. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/87 "2014-03-21T16:22:33Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I’m sure there are guys who hit the hundreds too. I know I referenced this board in my OP but I was mainly thinking about my college buddies who would make this exaggerated claim at all of 21 - 22 years old. > > Even for older folks it’s still hard for me to believe. Even a different woman every month which is only 12 women a year doesn’t sound like a whole lot but to keep that pace up for 10 or 20 years? I mean come on. There were no relationships during all that time when said stud muffin stayed monogamous for a while? If one really has the wherewithal to keep up such a crazy pace for decades, I think that makes you a borderline sociopath. > > Chip on my shoulder or no, that’s a hard pill for me to swallow. Look, I had a roommate in college who would bring home two different girls per week, almost like clockwork. He was a DJ at a local club, and he was very successful at picking up whoever was left at closing time Friday and Saturday nights. That was a school year – nine months, roughly – and a ‘count’ of maybe sixty or more that I personally saw doing the Walk of Shame Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have no trouble believing he racked up a lifetime number in comfortable triple digits by the time he was 22. I suppose it’s possible they were all only holding hands in his room overnight. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/88 "2014-03-21T16:27:58Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Look, I had a roommate in college who would bring home two different girls per week, almost like clockwork. He was a DJ at a local club, and he was very successful at picking up whoever was left at closing time Friday and Saturday nights. > > That was a school year – nine months, roughly – and a ‘count’ of maybe sixty or more that I personally saw doing the Walk of Shame Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have no trouble believing he racked up a lifetime number in comfortable triple digits by the time he was 22. > > I suppose it’s possible they were all only holding hands in his room overnight. And don’t forget threesomes and foursomes. Those bump up the total in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/89 "2014-03-21T16:34:20Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Look, I had a roommate in college who would bring home two different girls per week, almost like clockwork. He was a DJ at a local club, and he was very successful at picking up whoever was left at closing time Friday and Saturday nights. > > That was a school year – nine months, roughly – and a ‘count’ of maybe sixty or more that I personally saw doing the Walk of Shame Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have no trouble believing he racked up a lifetime number in comfortable triple digits by the time he was 22. > > I suppose it’s possible they were all only holding hands in his room overnight. Yes **Bricker** , if you read my post, there are exceptions. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Rosetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Green\_Rosetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Rosetta)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/90 "2014-03-21T16:58:58Z")
As som have mentioned, I think it has to do with the age of the person making the call, as well. I might be surprised to learn someone at the age of 25 had already had 50 partners, mostly because I’d wonder where they met them all (maybe this says more about my social life than theirs.) But at age 40, I don’t think that’s an especially high number. The thing about sex, IMHO, is that you get better at it the more you do it. You know what you like and it gets better every time. If you have a lot of practice, good for you! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/91 "2014-03-21T17:04:49Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Yes **Bricker** , if you read my post, there are exceptions. Well, yes. But: > [@Shakes](#): > > I don’t get why adult males feel the need to lie about their number being higher than it really is. I’ve seen it here on this board a number of times: “Oh, my numbers is in the hundreeds” (As in 200+) > First off, no you haven’t slept with that many women you douche. > > Secondly, do you really think women hear that number and think to themselves “OMG! I gotta get with that guy, he’s so studly with his high number.”? > > They do not and us other guys know you are full of shit., > > High numbers are nothing to brag about and if you lie about a high number it just makes you look pathetic. The tone of this post suggests that you view the possibility of an exception as extremely low. Your later qualifiers never really disclaim this – you admit to the existence of exceptions, but never suggest you might have been in error with this approach. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/92 "2014-03-21T17:07:52Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Or we’re all crushed dead by an errant joke. 😛 Dammit–is my humor-o-meter on the fritz again? What’s the warranty on this thing? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/93 "2014-03-21T17:24:47Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Well, yes. But: > > The tone of this post suggests that you view the possibility of an exception as extremely low. Out of 10 guys who claim this, I’ll believe maybe one of them actually did. And yes, that’s a completely arbitrary number/. > [@](#): > > Your later qualifiers never really disclaim this – you admit to the existence of exceptions, but never suggest you might have been in error with this approach. I probably have been. I just go by the “rule of thumb” method. I might make more of an effort of separating the wheat from the chaff if this were something that actually mattered in life. But really, bragging about how many women you’ve banged is just a form of objectifying women. So I hope you’ll excuse me for not taking the “high road” for taking people at their word on such an asinine subject. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/94 "2014-03-21T17:28:51Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I probably have been. I just go by the “rule of thumb” method. I might make more of an effort of separating the wheat from the chaff if this were something that actually mattered in life. But really, bragging about how many women you’ve banged is just a form of objectifying women. > > So I hope you’ll excuse me for not taking the “high road” for taking people at their word on such an asinine subject. Just curious, do you always think it’s bragging? If it comes up in conversations (ok, so it probably doesn’t a lot) do you ever think it’s just a statement of fact? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/96 "2014-03-21T17:44:37Z")
😕 If the subject is asinine, what do you care what people say about it? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/97 "2014-03-21T17:47:24Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I probably have been. I just go by the “rule of thumb” method. I might make more of an effort of separating the wheat from the chaff if this were something that actually mattered in life. But really, bragging about how many women you’ve banged is just a form of objectifying women. I don’t think I agree with your implicit claim that it’s always bragging, though. I grant you that an unsolicited announcement certainly fits with braggadocio, but this very thread is an example of _soliciting_ the information. If my old roommate were a Doper, he might well have an opinion to share on the question presented in the OP, and his contribution would not necessarily be driven by bragging – especially if you ascribe to [Dizzy Dean](http://www.baseball-reference.com/bullpen/Dizzy_Dean)’s philosophy concerning bragging. ---
**Author:** ![AnthonyElite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@AnthonyElite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnthonyElite)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/98 "2014-03-21T17:50:06Z")
I don’t know that I could give a specific number, but after around 10 I think the likelihood of STDs would scare me. Unofficially, the reason my personal number is so low (6) is because condoms are worthless to me. I feel nothing when I use them, and my prospects “shrivel” as soon as it gets out of the wrapper. I don’t know why, but that is how I am. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/99 "2014-03-21T17:52:10Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Out of 10 guys who claim this, I’ll believe maybe one of them actually did. And yes, that’s a completely arbitrary number/. > > I probably have been. I just go by the “rule of thumb” method. I might make more of an effort of separating the wheat from the chaff if this were something that actually mattered in life. But really, bragging about how many women you’ve banged is just a form of objectifying women. > > So I hope you’ll excuse me for not taking the “high road” for taking people at their word on such an asinine subject. You’re getting grief for what you said and the way you put it. What you meant might have been reasonable. Let’s break it down: > [@](#): > > I don’t get why adult males feel the need to lie about their number being higher than it really is. Fair enough. Yeah, both men and women exaggerate, in the opposite direction. No foul here. I also agree that it’s a bit silly to brag. I don’t see much bragging going on in this thread, though. > [@](#): > > I’ve seen it here on this board a number of times: “Oh, my numbers is in the hundreeds” (As in 200+) > > First off, no you haven’t slept with that many women you douche. I see no room for exceptions here, and you’re calling them douches. Not exactly the high road. > [@](#): > > Secondly, do you really think women hear that number and think to themselves “OMG! I gotta get with that guy, he’s so studly with his high number.”? Supposition. Probably wrong, but harmless. > [@](#): > > They do not and us other guys know you are full of shit., Now you’re assuming your supposition is correct, and that you know how women think. > [@](#): > > High numbers are nothing to brag about and if you lie about a high number it just makes you look pathetic. This is true. But your post is so full of bile, you’re the one who ends up looking pathetic, even though you probably had a good point to begin with. Let me try to phrase it: Men who brag about the number of women they’ve slept with are usually exaggerating, and nearly always a bit pathetic. If you’d said that, I doubt anyone would have disagreed. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/100 "2014-03-21T17:52:15Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Look, I had a roommate in college who would bring home two different girls per week, almost like clockwork. He was a DJ at a local club, and he was very successful at picking up whoever was left at closing time Friday and Saturday nights. > > That was a school year – nine months, roughly – and a ‘count’ of maybe sixty or more that I personally saw doing the Walk of Shame Saturday and Sunday mornings. I have no trouble believing he racked up a lifetime number in comfortable triple digits by the time he was 22. > > I suppose it’s possible they were all only holding hands in his room overnight. I don’t see why it’s so unbelievable. I think we all know of at least one person like that. One of those guys who just seems to get more ass than a toilet seat. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172/101 "2014-03-21T17:57:28Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Just curious, do you always think it’s bragging? If it comes up in conversations (ok, so it probably doesn’t a lot) do you ever think it’s just a statement of fact? Pretty much, whether it be intentional or a subconscious brag. Your OP for example, you said your number “is much higher than any of these” and you went on to say that you only divulge that information to let people know you’re not judging anyone for having high numbers. Yet, you can still get that point across with out having to share that information. So yes whether the statement is true or false, or whether the brag is intentional or not I perceive it as a brag from the perspective of the person telling it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sex-partners-is-too-many/684172.md?page=6)