# How many sexual partners have you had? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2006, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340 "2006-08-26T17:32:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/161 "2006-08-28T18:03:19Z")
1. One. I was a virgin when I started dating the woman to whom I am now dating. Never really even kissed a girl my age before that. 2. 33 3. Male 4. Straight The question of best and worst is fairly moot with only one partner in my case. ---
**Author:** ![Lilairen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lilairen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilairen)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/162 "2006-08-28T18:03:36Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] I find this weird because there is nobody here who as a reason to lie (we won’t tell each others significant others). [/QUOTE] My husband reads the Dope sometimes (not as much as he used to before the new job, but sometimes). My boyfriend doesn’t, though. (And for neither of them would the information shared here be new, anyway.) I think a lot depends on basic mindset and to a certain amount cultural expectations. I’ve never been interested in anything that wasn’t a long-term, serious relationship; that both cuts down on how likely I am to have a sexual encounter in general _and_ makes it more likely that a relationship I form will include sex, for example. I also tend to wind up with people who feel the same way for basic compatibilitiy reasons, which means that I with my six partners lifetime have _always_ been the more sexual-variety experienced partner in all the sexual relationships I’ve had except the first one (which was a matter of mutual inexperience and figuring it all out together). I’ve never had a relationship that included coitus last less than a year, though some didn’t really last more than that. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/163 "2006-08-28T18:15:49Z")
[QUOTE=Lilairen] My husband reads the Dope sometimes (not as much as he used to before the new job, but sometimes). My boyfriend doesn’t, though. [/QUOTE] Um… what? A husband and a boyfriend- do either of them know about the other? ---
**Author:** ![Kairos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecc23a/32.png) [@Kairos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kairos)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/164 "2006-08-28T19:20:51Z")
As per usual, I’m late to the party. 1. How many sexual partners have you had in your life? 8 for coitus, an additional 15 (or thereabouts) for sundry other sexual encounters. 2. How old are you? 27 3. Are you male or female? Female 4. Are you gay or straight? Bisexual Worst sexual experience: With my first boyfriend, though not our first time having sex. He told me to shut up and hold still. So I did. Best sexual experience: With my current boyfriend. Manacles, rope, candle wax and a blissfully sharp knife. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/165 "2006-08-28T19:44:38Z")
[QUOTE=Kairos] Worst sexual experience: With my first boyfriend, though not our first time having sex. He told me to shut up and hold still. So I did. Best sexual experience: With my current boyfriend. Manacles, rope, candle wax and a blissfully sharp knife. [/QUOTE] It sounds like your first boyfriend should have held on to a you a few years before he started to get freaky. Sharp knife? I have used a gun, but knife, holy shit. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/166 "2006-08-28T19:58:32Z")
[QUOTE=trublmakr] I’d have to get my car fixed first (you helped me out in the GQ thread a little while ago) but I’d surely drive a few hours to get me some at this point, even without looking at your photo. Does that make me a bad person? [/QUOTE] When come back, post videos. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/167 "2006-08-28T20:06:16Z")
Just for the benefits of posterity and science… # of partners: 8 Age: 45 Gender: male Orientation: straight If the numbers people have collated look strange, that probably just indicates that the type of people posters are primarily sexually attracted to tend not to post here. The amazing thing, therefore, is how many relationships have sprung up here, leading to involvement (possibly within this very thread…) & marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Lilairen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lilairen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilairen)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/168 "2006-08-28T20:13:57Z")
[QUOTE=McNew] Um… what? A husband and a boyfriend- do either of them know about the other? [/QUOTE] Of course they do. ---
**Author:** ![Kairos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecc23a/32.png) [@Kairos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kairos)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/169 "2006-08-28T20:21:48Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] It sounds like your first boyfriend should have held on to a you a few years before he started to get freaky. Sharp knife? I have used a gun, but knife, holy shit. [/QUOTE] It is highly likely that the abuse I endured at the hands of my first boyfriend directly contributed to the…shall we say, specialized…tastes I have today, but it’s been a long and harrowing road to get here. For a long, long time sex was not something I enjoyed, but a gift that I bestowed upon men who “earned” it. The instruction of “shut up and hold still” stuck with me much longer than the boy who gave it, and I suspect that some of my early boyfriends may well have me on their “worst” list themselves. Blessedly, I am finally in a place where I love sex, and I know how to ask for what I want and what I need. Sometimes that’s pain, and sometimes not, but at least now I have a say in the matter. I do find it interesting that a gun seems less scary to you than a knife. Personally, I would never let a sexual partner bring a gun into the act, but that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/170 "2006-08-28T21:28:36Z")
[QUOTE=Kairos] It is highly likely that the abuse I endured at the hands of my first boyfriend directly contributed to the…shall we say, specialized…tastes I have today, but it’s been a long and harrowing road to get here. For a long, long time sex was not something I enjoyed, but a gift that I bestowed upon men who “earned” it. The instruction of “shut up and hold still” stuck with me much longer than the boy who gave it, and I suspect that some of my early boyfriends may well have me on their “worst” list themselves. Blessedly, I am finally in a place where I love sex, and I know how to ask for what I want and what I need. Sometimes that’s pain, and sometimes not, but at least now I have a say in the matter. I do find it interesting that a gun seems less scary to you than a knife. Personally, I would never let a sexual partner bring a gun into the act, but that’s just me. [/QUOTE] Wow, sorry, I take back my comment. As far as the gun thing, it was when my wife and I first started having sex. We thought maybe it would just be sex, so we didn’t care. It was one of her fantasies and she thought the gun was loaded. It wasn’t, and I will never tell her differently. ---
**Author:** ![Kairos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecc23a/32.png) [@Kairos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kairos)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/171 "2006-08-28T21:34:08Z")
[QUOTE=FormerMarineGuy] Wow, sorry, I take back my comment. [/QUOTE] No, don’t…it _is_ an interesting parallel, and one that occurred to me as I wrote my post. It just goes to show that love, trust, and maturity have a HUGE impact on one’s sexual enjoyment. I hope my reply didn’t come across as snotty or angry - that really wasn’t my intention. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grammaticaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@Grammaticaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grammaticaster)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/172 "2006-08-28T21:34:45Z")
I feel obliged to lower the straight male average, considering that 76 per seems a bit high. 26, male, straight. One partner (my wife). I was 22 when we got married. I can honestly say that I had no idea other people had so much sex with so many different people. ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/173 "2006-08-28T21:43:41Z")
Partners: 18 for coitus, add 7 for the other stuff (two of which are female) Age: 23 Gender: Female Gay/Straight: Straight? Worst: Definitely my first time. We were drunk, he wasn’t nice about it and the whole situation was stupid. ☹ Didn’t enjoy sex at all for a couple years. Best: Tony; the only guy to ever make me come during coitus, once. That was 4 years ago. That doesn’t mean I don’t have great sex, though my current boyfriend seems to think he’s doing something wrong (or not good enough). I think it has to do with how comfortable I am and/or how safe I feel with a person. Or I’m one of those few women who just don’t come easily at all. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/174 "2006-08-28T21:49:28Z")
[QUOTE=Kairos] No, don’t…it _is_ an interesting parallel, and one that occurred to me as I wrote my post. It just goes to show that love, trust, and maturity have a HUGE impact on one’s sexual enjoyment. I hope my reply didn’t come across as snotty or angry - that really wasn’t my intention. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Not at all. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t come across as being insensitive. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/175 "2006-08-28T21:51:12Z")
[QUOTE=Grammaticaster] I feel obliged to lower the straight male average, considering that 76 per seems a bit high. 26, male, straight. One partner (my wife). I was 22 when we got married. I can honestly say that I had no idea other people had so much sex with so many different people. [/QUOTE] Some wish they [hadn’t.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=385811) . ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/176 "2006-08-28T22:25:21Z")
1. Actual sex: 1 (my current boyfriend). Other things : 2 2. 21 3. Female 4. Bi (although I’ve never been with a girl for more than cuddling) Worst: My ex boyfriend. We were inexperienced, he asked to be friends with benefits, I said sure, why the hell not. Then he got attached and told me he loved me. The first time we made out I had a panic attack, which wasn’t his fault, repressed memories of abuse coming to the forfront, but it soured things. He wasn’t horrible, just the wrong time and place Best: My current boyfriend. We’ve been together for more than a year. He showed marked patience and care from the beginning, when I was skiddish and scared. He helped me learn to relax and enjoy sex, a lot. We love each other and that makes it all the better. ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/177 "2006-08-29T00:50:23Z")
10 for coitus 25 Female Straight ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/178 "2006-08-29T01:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] All right, I compiled all the numbers but I can’t figure out how to post it so it lines up nicely. nevermore 5 24 Female bi kimera 1 24 Female Bi Gundhilde 39 23 Female Dunno the chicken of exeter 11 19 Female Gayer side of bi bec 9 32 Female Hetero-bent foxymoron 100 33 Female Neither Ludy 5 25 Female Straight cruel butterfly 30 31 Female Straight FilmGeek 20 27 Female Straight pendgwen 1 28 Female Straight faithfool 3 38 Female Straight Llilairen 6 28 Female Straight freckafree 12 47 Female Straight marienee 30 40 Female Straight aura 5 23 Female Straight misNomer 21 34 Female Straight trublmakr A lot 38 Female Straight Millit the Frail 1 25 Female Straight dangermom 1 32 Female Straight alice in wonderland 15 33 Female Straight Harbinger of courteous debate 1 17 Female Straight parrot recipes 6 50 Female Straight Tamryne 2 19 Female Straight Indygrrl 75 32 Female Straight kambuctka 24 46 Female Straight Frelling Tralk 30 33 Female Straight Kitchen Wench 11 31 Female Straight melondeca 150 27 Female Straight MaddyStrut 25 39 Female Straight Anaamika 5 30 Female Straight hawksgirl 1 20 Female Straight Nava 4 38 Female Straight NinetyWght 150 46 Female Straighter side of bi Priceguy 2 29 Male Ambiguous Aesiron 2 24 Male Bi 1point618 1 20 Male Bi Licentious Ectomorph Hundreds 35 Male Gay monkey Chews 26 32 Male Gay antinor01 200 31 Male Gay bansabasto 0 22 Male Gay kevja Several Thousand 52 Male Gay panache45 Thousands 60 Male Gay Dmark 1000 50 Male Gay Skald the Rhymer 100 + 36 Male Mostly straight Clockwork & Candy 10 17 Male Neither Former Marine Guy 125 30 Male Straight devilsknew 10 36 Male Straight RealityChuck 5 54 Male Straight silenus 17 51 Male Straight Captain Carrot 0 18 Male Straight nic2004 80 50 Male Straight jimbeam 520 44 Male Straight dwc1970 3 36 Male Straight fishbicycle 4 47 Male Straight sihizaru 22 42 Male Straight Struan 40 38 Male Straight jjim 34 38 Male Straight Sunspace 1 43 Male Straight Rievr Hippie 1 49 Male Straight mrsmith537 28 33 Male Straight dalej42 1000 37 Male Straight cyberhawk 2 32 Male Straight Jman 3 28 Male Straight JohnT 1 39 Male Straight ArchitectChore 8 24 Male Straight OneCentStamp 9 32 Male Straight chowder 40 38 Male Straight LouisB 55 66 Male Straight sleestak 150 35 Male Straight Eleusis 200 34 Male Straight No One Special 1 42 Male Straight DrkGently 18 37 Male Straight EnderWill 6 22 Male Straight want2know 15 49 Male Straight Onomatopoeia 13 44 Male Straight Larry Mudd 29 35 Male Straight pulehoopo 0 26 Male Straight Pushkin 1 27 Male Straight Sunrazor 3 55 Male Straight Quartz 0 39 Male [/QUOTE] Hopefully that was a typo above. My 1000 go in the gay category. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/179 "2006-08-29T04:53:13Z")
Late jumping in, but here goes: **Partners:** Can’t really remember them all and I didn’t keep careful track. Best guess is somewhere between 125 and 150? **Age:** 44 **Gender:** Male **Gay/Straight:** Straight Being a _gaijin_ foreigner (especially someone who’s white) in Tokyo adds +3 to the charisma (and +2 to the height 😃 ). There’s a number of Japanese girls who like meeting gaijins. I was a barfly for a while, and eventually got good at it. My friends enjoyed hearing about the adventures, such as the girl who couldn’t wait and gave me a blowjob in the taxi on the way to the hotel. Ah, those were the days, but I’ve “retired” since meeting my wife. Best: My wife! I wouldn’t trade her for the other 124 (or 149). It’s not necessarily her technique ('cause I’ve met women who would blow your mind through your dick) but there’s nothing like great sex with some you are completely in love with. Worst: The woman who dragged me though three bars, one restaurant and a dance club, with me buying the whole way. I had made it a rule to never buy drinks for women but I was stupid that night. She keep leading me on, and I stupidly kept following. She would say things like, let’s go back to my place, but I want to go to XX first. Finally we wind up really drunk at her place at 4:30 am and she falls asleep right during the middle of the act. Not bothering to finish, I leave, but decide to have her do the right thing and pay for the wine. Since she left her money out on the table it was more of a pissed off drunk action than a deliberate theft, but still. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mamakat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@mamakat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamakat)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340/180 "2006-08-29T05:43:38Z")
1. How many sexual partners have you had in your life? 30 or 31 2. How old are you? 29 3. Are you male or female? female 4. Are you gay or straight? straight (so far!) As for best and worse - well, seeing as 29 of these happened over the last month, they’ve all just kind of run together. Some really good ones, some really bad ones! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-sexual-partners-have-you-had/370340.md?page=10)