# How Many Times Would You Get Married?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 14, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113 "2010-12-14T14:27:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/21 "2010-12-14T16:58:20Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> But if it failed again? I’d start to question my own judgment in men. I really don’t know what I would do then.
That’s where I am, and you do question your judgment. I find that even though I have worked and worked on myself since my last divorce, I keep finding and dating the same kind of non-committal men. A lot of that must be something I’m doing–or are all men that way? I can’t even tell anymore. ☹
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### Author:  [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/22 "2010-12-14T17:03:17Z")
I was married once when very young. Have stayed single for the subsequent 20 years after the divorce and am determined to not get married again until I know it will last.
I have had three long-term relationships since my divorce, but I _knew_ they were not FOREVER relationships so no marriage.
I am still hoping to get married again some day.
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### Author:  [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/23 "2010-12-14T17:03:53Z")
No, they aren’t all that way, it’s just the pro-commitment ones tend to already be committed 😉
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### Author:  [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/24 "2010-12-14T17:04:06Z")
I’m 60 and have been married 38 years. I doubt that I would marry again. I’d like companionship, I’m sure, but marriage would tie things up too much. My child will get everything (we’re not talking a lot here), and I don’t want to worry about someone else in the division, and I’m sure men my age feel the same way. Also, I’m pretty set in my ways and I don’t know if I could break somebody new in! My husband and I have gotten used to each other’s habits.
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### Author:  [@misterkrc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterkrc)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/25 "2010-12-14T17:08:32Z")
you have to marry your beast friend, been together 47 years still going strong. i dont think i would do it again.too old to change.
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/26 "2010-12-14T17:10:13Z")
> [@kapri](#):
>
> That’s where I am, and you do question your judgment. I find that even though I have worked and worked on myself since my last divorce, I keep finding and dating the same kind of non-committal men. A lot of that must be something I’m doing–or are all men that way? I can’t even tell anymore. ☹
No, all men are not that way. All men are not _any_ way. I think you can change yourself but if you’re still picking the same type of partner you’re probably going to run into the same problems. In the very least, I think if I were facing my second divorce, I would slow things down, maybe get out of the dating game completely for a while, and just focus on other things. But that would be harder for some people than others. I don’t mind being alone.
The way my Mom is, she really struggles with having an identity outside of a man. She is terrified of being alone, she can’t handle it. I feel like a lot of time people get involved in the same bad relationships over and over again because they feel like something’s missing and have to fill it in with a partner. If I were in that situation, I would basically force myself to get over my loneliness issues, work through the panic so that I wouldn’t be compelled to hook up with just anyone. I feel like you have to have some degree of mastery over yourself and your own issues before you can really trust your own motives for becoming involved with someone. Well, I certainly had plenty of issues going into my marriage, but in the very least let’s say it’s a lot harder to work through that stuff as you go!
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### Author:  [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/27 "2010-12-14T17:14:10Z")
I’m pretty sure that this is it for me. I married for the first time when I was almost 43. Up until that point, I was happy being single. I love my husband and I love being married to him. But if something unimaginable happens, and we divorce, or if I outlive him, I really think I’d prefer to remain single.
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### Author:  [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/28 "2010-12-14T17:19:54Z")
Really hard to say. I’ve been divorced twice, and am living with a woman now. I sort of think we’ll get married at some point, but I’m in no hurry, and do wonder if I haven’t already cashed that check with family and friends.
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/29 "2010-12-14T17:39:05Z")
For me there would be a big difference in remarriage after the death of my wife and after a divorce. Since I don’t plan on getting a divorce, if we don’t include widowerhood I’d say only once. I could see twice as a widower - though it didn’t work out too great for my father. No more than that - I don’t have enough money for blonde bimbos to want to steal some from my ancient hands. ☹
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### Author:  [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/30 "2010-12-14T17:40:23Z")
I think I answered the poll wrong…
I am happily married and can’t see that changing unless one of us passes. If my husband were to go first, I think I would probably marry again if I found the right man.
So, I said as many as it takes to get it right (but I got it right the first time).
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### Author:  [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/31 "2010-12-14T18:39:52Z")
Once is enough for me. If my husband left me or died, I have one or two single friends I would consider a (platonic) Boston marriage with, maybe with a live-out boyfriend. Can’t see wanting to go to the trouble of adapting myself to a new husband.
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### Author:  [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/32 "2010-12-14T18:47:07Z")
This is it. We celebrated 13 wonderful years last night, and I know he is the only one for me. I will never marry again. Once you’ve found prime rib, there’s no reason to look for roast beef.
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/33 "2010-12-14T18:49:48Z")
Since I’m a gay man, the number of marriages is a moot point. But just thinking in terms of serious relationships, I got it right on the fourth try. If I hadn’t met my partner when I did, I’d probably keep trying for as long as it would take.
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### Author:  [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/34 "2010-12-14T18:50:14Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#):
>
> I think I answered the poll wrong…
>
> I am happily married and can’t see that changing unless one of us passes. If my husband were to go first, I think I would probably marry again if I found the right man.
>
> So, I said as many as it takes to get it right (but I got it right the first time).
Your answer is my answer.
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### Author:  [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/35 "2010-12-14T18:57:11Z")
I checked “just once” but that’s assuming my spouse outlives me. If she passed away, I would be willing to get married again. But I didn’t say “as many as it takes to get it right” because I consider the first one to be right.
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### Author:  [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/36 "2010-12-14T19:31:34Z")
Shoot, I said twice, and I had a whole thing reasoned out to myself, but the fact of the matter is, I have no freaking idea. I’m engaged for the first time, and if this marriage doesn’t last forever, I would probably get married again. If that one came to end as well? Dang, it depends on how old I am at the time, how set in my ways I am, whether I have kids at home, whether I can rely on my kids to take care of me when I get old, what my needs for companionship are, whether I’m entirely jaded against romantic relationships, etc. etc. I can see a situation where I have two marriages that last, say, 10 years each, and then I spend a long time unmarried and only remarry in order to simplify things like healthcare decisions and have someone to keep me company in the old-folks home. I can also see myself choosing to find fulfillment in friendships and maybe even a LTR, but preferring to keep a separate household (assuming I can afford to do so).
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/37 "2010-12-14T19:37:09Z")
If I ever do it, I will do it exactly once. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll return to my bachelor ways.
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/38 "2010-12-14T19:47:12Z")
I’ve been married and it didn’t work out, and I don’t feel any need to try again. My girlfriend and I plan to be long-term but enjoy maintaining our own residences at this time, so there’s no pressure to wed again.
Part of it is that we both had extraordinarily unsatisfactory sex lives while married to our ex-spouses, and now we both sort of equate being married with not getting laid, and who needs that?
And since it looks like no one else has said it, I will: marriage is an institution that requires commitment, and who really wants to be committed to an institution?
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### Author:  [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/39 "2010-12-14T19:53:54Z")
I said twice, but that’s in the case of divorce. If I \*survive \* my wife(wives), I’d probably be more willing to get married again.
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### Author:  [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-get-married/564113/40 "2010-12-14T19:58:07Z")
I said “other”-I mean, I would prefer to only get married once, but that depends on life and circumstances, right?
I will say that my tolerance for weddings would probably dissolve after the first marriage.
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