# How many times would you say you've really been in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512 "2005-07-28T02:48:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/1 "2005-07-28T02:48:40Z")
I realize that that term may be subject to major personal opinion and, of course, definition of what love really is…but that’s what makes it such a good question to ask. You’d get a multitude of answers. Myself, I’ve been in love twice before. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/2 "2005-07-28T02:54:17Z")
Interesting question. I thought about this for quite a while. I’d say I have been in love five times. That’s over a forty-year period. I now believe that the first dozen or so times that I thought I was in love, I was actually just in lust. The real thing didn’t come along until I was in my late twenties. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/3 "2005-07-28T03:06:22Z")
Twice. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/4 "2005-07-28T03:24:54Z")
I figure you mean romantic love so not counting my children, who were/are my first 2 great loves, just once. I loved him so much I married him. Still do. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/5 "2005-07-28T03:28:12Z")
Just once. She’s in the next room right now. And she’s a keeper. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/6 "2005-07-28T04:15:38Z")
Just once. I didn’t realize it until I actually DID fall in love though. Next to the real thing, the other relationships seemed like nothing at all. I sure wish that the one love hadn’t also been the “one to get away”. 🙂 (where’s the rueful smilie when you need one?) ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/7 "2005-07-28T04:30:19Z")
Once. With several false starts. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/8 "2005-07-28T04:54:55Z")
Three times. Third time’s the charm, I hear, and I’m still madly in love with him. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/9 "2005-07-28T04:56:01Z")
Three. I hope the fourth won’t be so horrifyingly painful. ---
**Author:** ![Nunavut\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e95f7d/32.png) [@Nunavut\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunavut_Boy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/10 "2005-07-28T04:59:07Z")
Just once, and that was enough of that. Now it’s time for fun! ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/11 "2005-07-28T05:34:41Z")
Never. I have felt very fond of a couple of them. I used to wonder if love was just deep affection. But then… My sister’s long-time boyfriend broke up with her last December. This June, we had to go to the store where he worked for something-or-other. I wasn’t sure if he still worked there because I had seen him at a different place of employment recently, so I assumed it was safe. I was wrong. He was there, doing cart clean-up in the parking lot. The moment my sister saw him, tears started rolling down her cheeks. She was shaken that she could see him, could get close enough to touch him, but he wouldn’t return the niceties if they were to come face-to-face\*. It took her a few minutes to get up the gumption to go in the store. We took a really wide detour to avoid him and all was good in my world. It wasn’t in hers, though. I suppose that’s love. Nope, can’t say I’ve ever felt that. \*Okay, that sentence is just speculation, but I would bet my last dime that it’s very close to how she would explain that day. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/12 "2005-07-28T05:50:51Z")
Three. And I second the “third time’s the charm” statement. ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/13 "2005-07-28T06:03:31Z")
Once, the relationship I’m in now. I don’t get attracted to people easily. I’m not really the dating type, and I’ve only ever _seriously_ felt like being with two people in my life, current love included. The other was an incidence of unrequited “love” in high school, but (luckily) it didn’t come to fruition, so I don’t count it. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/14 "2005-07-28T06:04:53Z")
Just once, and it was so good that I went and kept him. But I did delude myself twice. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/15 "2005-07-28T06:23:41Z")
I’ve only really been “in love” once and that’s with the person I’m with. I never really understood what it meant. I’ve felt affection and called it love. I’ve wanted to be with people and thought I was in love. There’s a huge difference you only see once you find the real stuff. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/16 "2005-07-28T07:49:28Z")
Twice. Then and now. I’m keeping this one, so it’s the last time 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/17 "2005-07-28T07:52:20Z")
Not sure. Probably not even once. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/18 "2005-07-28T08:38:42Z")
True love? I’d have to say twice. I’ve had six people I qualify with the title ‘boyfriend’; the first two were just summer romances, the third was major, though it only lasted three months. The fourth was just wrong and pretty much hormonal, though I did feel tender to him; the fifth was a rapidly solved infatuation; and the sixth ( **Potter** ) was True Love, complete with transcendence, nine-hour conversations, and blissed-out babbling. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/19 "2005-07-28T10:56:39Z")
Unrequited love… many many times. Too many times. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512/20 "2005-07-28T12:11:47Z")
Just the once, and I get to marry him. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-many-times-would-you-say-youve-really-been-in-love/314512.md?page=2)