# How may we serve you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059 "2018-05-29T14:38:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/41 "2018-05-29T19:39:50Z")
I went with a chauffeur. IMHO driving is a lot more mentally taxing than cooking or cleaning, and it’s definitely a lot more dangerous. Having a professional take on that responsibility would do more to lessen my anxiety than having someone cook or do other household chores. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/42 "2018-05-29T19:40:23Z")
French Maid. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/43 "2018-05-29T19:47:56Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > … mother? > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Wife? Does there have to be a difference? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/44 "2018-05-29T19:50:26Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Does there have to be a difference? Not if you’re Mike Pence. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/45 "2018-05-29T19:50:56Z")
Personal trainer/dietitian ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/46 "2018-05-29T19:53:30Z")
Au pair ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/47 "2018-05-29T19:55:49Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > What does a butler do? Walk the dog Feed the dog Clean up after the dog Tell the dog to shut up ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/48 "2018-05-29T20:41:27Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Cook. Not even close. > > Jeeves was a valet. Although Wodehouse’s novels seem to suggest that he “did it all” (because he never said no), there was a fairly strict social code that limited what a gentleman’s valet could be asked to do. It just doesn’t come up in the novels because Bertie would never ask his man to do something inappropriate to his station. Well, he did it all, so that would do. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/49 "2018-05-29T22:26:13Z")
Concubine. One who also cooks and cleans. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2018, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/50 "2018-05-29T23:22:05Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Maybe I’m just not getting into the spirit, but it seems that a butler without a staff is kind of a wasted position. Ditto. > [@Eonwe](#): > > That said, I’d go with groundskeeper/maintenance person. Mow, weed, stack wood, shovel snow, fix the fence, that kind of thing. Ditto. Maintenance, to me, could even include cleaning the pool, washing the car, routine car & motorcycle maintenance…I’d love to do even a few original projects together – build storage, refurb the deck, etc. –G! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/51 "2018-05-30T01:01:27Z")
I chose “other” because the service person I would want would be someone who could fix things. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/52 "2018-05-30T01:36:29Z")
Housekeeper. Please. Come now. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/53 "2018-05-30T01:42:29Z")
Chauffeur. I hate, Hate, HATE driving. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/54 "2018-05-30T01:47:29Z")
Definitely groundskeeper who keeps the yard in order, plants in the spring, rakes leaves in the fall, clears the drive in the winter. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/55 "2018-05-30T01:48:35Z")
Since the Butler is basically the household manager, I’ll take one of those. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/56 "2018-05-30T01:50:57Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Yeah, how about all those mysteries where “the butler did it”? > > No way I’m getting a butler - don’t want to wake up dead some morning! 😉 All the more reason to choose butler, they’ll be the first suspect EVERY time. If you got a butler, you got almost automatic plausible deniability built right in. Def butler. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/57 "2018-05-30T02:01:24Z")
I’m going with housekeeper, assuming you mean butler in a _Downton Abbey_ sense. If you mean butler like Geoffrey off of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (who IIRC cooked and cleaned and more), then butler. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/58 "2018-05-30T02:55:34Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Concubine. One who also cooks and cleans. See post #42 😉 I couldn’t spell that word. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/59 "2018-05-30T03:01:40Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Personal trainer/dietitian +1 for me, too. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059/60 "2018-05-30T03:10:37Z")
Masseuse. Hands down 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-may-we-serve-you/815059.md?page=4)