# How much approval do you need? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2013, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343 "2013-03-30T11:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hilary\_Algar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilary_algar/32/4282_2.png) [@Hilary\_Algar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilary_Algar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/1 "2013-03-30T11:48:06Z")
How much approval do you need? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/2 "2013-03-30T13:32:16Z")
Practically zero. It’s not a self-esteem thing, because I barely have any of that either. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/3 "2013-03-30T13:41:55Z")
Whose approval for what? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/4 "2013-03-30T13:49:59Z")
It depends. Sometimes I have to call a judge for approval on a warrant several times a week. Some weeks not at all. ---
**Author:** ![romadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@romadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romadea)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/5 "2013-03-31T04:12:33Z")
4-6 times a year, only when I need to leave the country. ---
**Author:** ![Charley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Charley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charley)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/6 "2013-03-31T13:15:29Z")
I have been talking about this very subject with a couple of people recently - something has happened at work which has dramatically raised my profile (in a good way) and it’s set me wondering whether or not I care for the approval. Essentially, I think I have a relatively highly internal [locus of control](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control) and, related to that, I think there’s very few people whose approval I really look for, more than my own. My husband, a couple of close friends and that’s about it. Other than that, if I approve of my actions (and I’m quite a harsh critic), I’m good to go. I think, as much as anything, it’s related to my aging/maturing, along with, perhaps, the loss of my mother last year. Finally I understand that it’s down to me now - it’s a liberating and empowering feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f6c823/32.png) [@Lo-Slung\_Denim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lo-Slung_Denim)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/7 "2013-03-31T17:37:36Z")
I am very internally validated, and I often don’t need or care for approval externally. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/8 "2013-03-31T18:21:10Z")
Why does this poll omit the “none” option. Very strange. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/9 "2013-03-31T18:22:48Z")
I must not need it because I’m not getting any. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/10 "2013-03-31T19:07:35Z")
Depends. Are we talking about the approval we sense in other people’s reactions? I seem to seek that multiple times a day. Are we talking about having some plan or proposal approved? Less than monthly. There isn’t an option for multiple times daily to less than monthly. Which one do I click? Not that I really need to know… ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/11 "2013-03-31T21:44:49Z")
Well, the poll answers are a bit odd. I like having my accomplishments recognized and valued, but to have someone give me approval for… what? existing? …several times a day would be weird as all hell. I don’t need validation on a schedule, I need genuine appreciation for things that I give or do, which may or may not be on a 3-times-a-day timetable. (I have this hilarious image of someone running after their spouse or co-worker yelling “It’s after 10am! You’re late for my validation session! Get back here!”) And in terms of recognition, I prefer it to be in the form of genuine appreciation and reciprocity, not, for example, my boss giving me a piece of paper in a $15 frame in recognition for the entirety of my contributions over the past year, or something. Save your paper, give me better projects, more money, a more flexible schedule, or something concrete that actually costs you something, so I can see that you really do appreciate what I did, you value it as being worth something, and are not just giving it lip service because you think I won’t notice and will become more loyal as long as you pat me on the head, or something. Genuine appreciation will encourage me to keep doing/giving, since I know my efforts are recognized AS effort, something that costs me, and that it is of value. Lip service is the fastest way to make me cut my efforts back to the minimum required, and probably start looking elsewhere for someone who would appreciate me. If YOU don’t care what I’ve done for you, why in hell should I? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-approval-do-you-need/654343/12 "2013-04-01T03:04:56Z")
Taking “approval” as “permission,” about once every three or four months, I think about doing something that is just dicey enough, just chancy enough, that I ask my family and friends what they think. If even a third of them say, “Don’t do that,” I don’t. Taking “approval” as “praise,” I enjoy it as much as anyone else, and I do often do things that I think will engender some. I’m a writer, and participate in writing groups. Having people compliment my work is a fairly big part of why I write at all. If I’m not gonna get paid, at least I get a mite of applause now and then!