# How much are gays and lesbians protected from drama? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901 "2012-07-11T16:44:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/21 "2012-07-11T18:38:33Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > The point is that we were not expecting drama, and we are not sure where the source of drama is coming from. Watch where you’re throwing those inclusive pronouns. I’ve never had any trouble with my female friends having jealous boyfriends. I’ve managed to evade drama by the simple expedient of not making it and not hanging around with people who do. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/22 "2012-07-11T18:40:20Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > In predominately straight circles? > > I am token lesbian in most of the circles I run in. I, for whatever reason, thought me being lesbian would keep me out of a lot of drama goes on in straight human relations. > > I might have been wrong. I can’t imagine it would’d change the nature of their interaction with the opposite sex just because you show up. > > Example, I have recently admitted to several guys that if I were straight, I would go after them. This has not ended well, lol. Friendship dynamics with these guys have been permanently altered. Either they start hitting on me like crazy…or, they back away, and start acting cold. I would understand these reactions if I were a straight or bisexual woman. But I am gay! Any attraction of men that I speak of is purely hypothetical. I think the phrase is “Now lie in it.” What you’re saying CAN be a come-on. I don’t think you can expect them to guess your intentions. It’s a dangerous assumption to make in any circumstances. > > And from straight women…some of them display that jealous/competetive behaviour that goes on between straight women women. Such as being told not to dress up at a party or whatever, and then I show up and she and everyone else at the party is dressed up. Shit like that. I never heard of such a thing! Is this all going on in junior high? I think I may run in different circles, straight and gay. Anyway, I can’t imagine this happening to someone more than once. > > I thought me being gay would take me off the radar when it comes to common group dynamics with straight people. I think you believe that being gay is such a big deal that everyone is thinking about it when they’re with you. Work up to being **gay and over it.** ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/23 "2012-07-11T18:43:35Z")
I have heard it referred to as the G factor. We’ve built such a production out of identifying as gay that quite often gaybies come out and expect that this revelation is as big a deal to everyone else as it is to them. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/24 "2012-07-11T18:45:16Z")
Gosh, Stick, you said it so much simpler. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/25 "2012-07-11T18:46:49Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Annnnd there we have the reason for this ridiculous thread. Yo. A lot of us responding are gay. (Whoops! Wrong quote. I meant the one Moon was replying to. :o ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/26 "2012-07-11T18:47:47Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What does “token” lesbian mean? 😕 It means she has no cash value. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/27 "2012-07-11T18:49:59Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What does “token” lesbian mean? 😕 I think it means you’re the only queer on the A-list. What am I saying? The A-list is always queer-heavy. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/28 "2012-07-11T18:52:17Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > Did he just call her socially inept? Her posts in this thread and many others display her social ineptness. It’s not an insult, just an observation. I was merely commenting on the consequences. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/29 "2012-07-11T18:55:42Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Another…black lesian couple and white straight couple…the guy in the straight couple and one of the girls in the lesbo couple wanted to go on a fake date at a really popular restaurant to see how people would react to them being in an interracial relationship. The straight girl agreed, but going by her body language she wasn’t comfortable at all! And if it were a straight woman he’s going out with, of course his girlfriend would be down with that… ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/30 "2012-07-11T18:58:34Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > Another example that involves a gay male friend. He went on a trip…and shared a hotel bed with one of the straight girls. Her boyfriend found out and he flipped out! There were four people, what was he supposed to do? Sleep in a cot or something? Same thing here. Do you think he’s be cool with his girlfriend sharing a bed with a straight guy? You seem to think that everything happens over a person being gay or not. Don’t you question your own assumptions in these matters? It’s always a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/31 "2012-07-11T19:00:05Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Her posts in this thread and many others display her social ineptness. It’s not an insult, just an observation. I was merely commenting on the consequences. Sorry! I was turning a joke on the line, “Did he just call me stupid?” I get what you’re saying and I agree. 🙂 And since we’re here: Your line about her having no sense of human interactions was _priceless_. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/32 "2012-07-11T19:08:48Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Why would you think that being gay would some how protect you against petty, mean or (for that matter) batshit crazy human behavior? > > Specifically you seem to think that guys actually give the same weight to “I am gay” as they do to “I would go after you.” Try a random search of all the threads here over the years where people complain that someone said “I like you, but. . .” and they can’t understand that “but” is an absolute deal-breaker. > [@tapu](#): > > Same thing here. Do you think he’s be cool with his girlfriend sharing a bed with a straight guy? > > You seem to think that everything happens over a person being gay or not. Don’t you question your own assumptions in these matters? It’s always a good idea. I am questioning my assumptions. That’s why I started this thread. What you are saying is that gender is dominant over orientation for many people, when it comes to judging behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/33 "2012-07-11T19:13:11Z")
> [@Diamonds02](#): > > What you are saying is that gender is dominant over orientation for many people, when it comes to judging behavior? I think what people are saying is that labels don’t cover the full range of human interaction or emotions. Look past the labels and we’re all individuals who behave as we damn well please. Jealousy and drama aren’t necessarily logical, but then neither are any human actions. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/34 "2012-07-11T19:15:18Z")
I think a lesbian whose lover slept in the same bed with a straight woman could be jealous, too. (Not all, but you seem to be basing your assumptions on the evidence of one instance.) That’s why they _have_ cots. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/35 "2012-07-11T19:27:06Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Her posts in this thread and many others display her social ineptness. It’s not an insult, just an observation. I was merely commenting on the consequences. Yes, it is an insult, as there’s no other reason to bring it up. We get it: she’s ignorant about social conventions. This board is about fighting ignorance. If you\* have a problem with the poster, there’s a forum for that. Constantly popping into her threads to make fun of how clueless she is serves no purpose other than inflating the egos of the people who do it by belittling hers. They really don’t do much to indicate that these people are actually socially superior, since a child can see through this crap. \*You here is plural, obviously. I don’t go around watching to see which person has taken up the “bully the socially clueless” baton for this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/36 "2012-07-11T19:28:41Z")
Oh, when did you become a mod, Big T? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/37 "2012-07-11T19:31:53Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What does “token” lesbian mean? 😕 **First** , you get yourself a lesbian. **Second** , you sign her up for the 30 day “How to be a Lesbian.” class. **Thirdly** , you Hi, Opal. **Fourthly** , you have your lesbian pass the open-book multiple-choice one question test of “Are you a Lesbian?” **Fifthly** , if your lesbian passes the test, you present her with her, “Yea! You are a lesbian” Token. **Sixly** , you congratulate your newly found lesbian with a hearty round of lesbian beers. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/38 "2012-07-11T19:37:00Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Yes, it is an insult, as there’s no other reason to bring it up. If you think it’s an insult did you report it? I bet you didn’t report. > [@](#): > > We get it: she’s ignorant about social conventions. Why are you insulting people? ETA: I should’ve put some more commas in my previous post but it’s too late to edit. ---
**Author:** ![happycamper\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@happycamper\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happycamper_5)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/39 "2012-07-11T19:41:11Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > **First** , you get yourself a lesbian. > > **Second** , you sign her up for the 30 day “How to be a Lesbian.” class. > > **Thirdly** , you Hi, Opal. > > **Fourthly** , you have your lesbian pass the open-book multiple-choice one question test of “Are you a Lesbian?” > > **Fifthly** , if your lesbian passes the test, you present her with her, “Yea! You are a lesbian” Token. > > **Sixly** , you congratulate your newly found lesbian with a hearty round of lesbian beers. I would like to hear more about these lesbian beers. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901/40 "2012-07-11T19:45:17Z")
> [@happycamper\_5](#): > > I would like to hear more about these lesbian beers. It’s quite simple. 1. Straight women don’t drink beer. 2. They drink wine and foo-foo-fruity drinks. 3. Therefore, the only beer that will go into a woman must be a lesbian. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-are-gays-and-lesbians-protected-from-drama/627901.md?page=3)