Agree about both the hats and that the OP is syntactically correct English amounting to pure semantic gibberish.
It vaguely resembles some existing jokes about sponges in the ocean, but even then it gets the punchline sideways.
It’s often said it’s hard to communicate across an IQ gap over 20 points and all but impossible at 50 points. I’d say the demonstrated gap between the OP & the SDMB is right up there.
I am amazed it even got serious replies to be honest 
I thank you all, scientists, pedants, oceanographers and biologists - I sure learned a lot in many different categories of science.
Which opens up another can of worms: Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Are you serious? You just don’t get the joke?
This educational video explains.
Great contribution to fighting ignorance. Bravo. Bravissimo.
Not a dumb question. Research is a study of existing knowledge and resources (re-search; search again) but you can make new discoveries by seeing something nobody noticed before, by combining known things in new ways, or extrapolating new information by analyzing known information.
An example is using research to discover that a well-known chemical cures an illness. The chemical isn’t unknown, the illness isn’t unknown, but your new application of the chemical is a discovery.
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?*
One. No, two! No, four!, No, eight! No…
*{joke stolen from Bill Bailey}
The joke works precisely because it doesn’t make sense.
That’s the beauty of it!
Forget sponges–we should just dehydrate the water.
Beautiful question.
Easy! We go there when the tide is out!
It is Steven Wright for sure.