# How much did you pay for your divorce? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059 "2003-02-14T14:40:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/1 "2003-02-14T14:40:00Z")
I’m not referring to alimony or emotional costs or anything like that, just court and attorney fees. I asked, because I feel like bragging a bit— My total costs? $0.00. My wife’s? only $100.00, which is just the court filing fee. Her attorney is not charging her anything. I’m not using an attorney. And we have 3 kids and were married for ‘about 12 years’. So maybe that’s the silver lining in this dark cloud. What did some of you pay? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/2 "2003-02-14T14:55:31Z")
Y’know, there’s a very old joke that goes like this; Q: Why is divorce so expensive? A: Because it’s worth it ! Sorry, you’re OP made me think of it. But really, it sounds like the world’s most bargain priced divorce. Congratulations, I suppose? ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/3 "2003-02-14T14:59:37Z")
Mine is not complete, although the property seperation is long done. Neither of us spent anything on lawyers. So far, the others costs include - everything I owned (now hers) and my sanity Go figure Advice to others…in moments of kindness, do not simply say to someone you are divorcing ‘go ahead, take anything and everything you feel you want’. It’ll cost your house etc etc etc You live and learn ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/4 "2003-02-14T15:11:41Z")
I shelled out a grand, which seems like a lot after reading the above posts. But for me it was worth it. My then-wife was getting nasty and making veiled threats of asking for alimony and going after my military pension. And to top it off, I was going to be deployed overseas during the time of our court date. So I hired a divorce lawyer and he took care of everything before I left, while I was gone, and after I got back. Definitely some of the best money I’ve ever spent. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/5 "2003-02-14T15:13:36Z")
love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/6 "2003-02-14T15:28:12Z")
It didn’t cost me anything. My ex-wife (the party who actually wanted the divorce) paid for a standard, do-it-yourself divorce kit (no idea what that cost). All I had to do was sign in a few places. I MAY have paid a few bucks for the notary, but that’s it. We didn’t have any kids or a lot of property to fight over, so it was pretty simple. No need for lawyers or mediation or anything else. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/7 "2003-02-14T20:07:01Z")
I figure mine cost around $11,000 when I consider the extended costs: $1000 - Lawyer/Legal Fees $6000 - Equity loss on house $3000 - “Spousal support” during separation $1000 - Startup costs for my own apt. (new kitchen equip, etc.) Money well spent. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/8 "2003-02-14T20:12:33Z")
I think mine was about $85 or something. I’d been married less than 2 years, had no kids, and our combined assets were virtually nil. That meant we qualified for the easy divorce - nothing to fight over. So essentially it was the fee to have them go and file the paperwork for me. The emotional toll, on the otherhand…priceless. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/9 "2003-02-14T20:19:34Z")
The actual divorce didn’t cost me anything. My ex paid for her lawyer and since I was unemployed at the time, I couldn’t afford one. I had to pay something to her to buy out her share of the increase in equity of the house – a couple of thousand, I think. It was worth it, though. The house may not be the best in the world, but the mortgage is ridiculously cheap. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/10 "2003-02-14T21:06:19Z")
Another “no-cost” divorce. Like **astorian’s** ex, my ex got the DIY kit and filed. Although she did get to the checking account before me, we split the rest of property evenly, and I got custody of the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/898d66/32.png) [@Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violin_D_Ingrate)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/11 "2003-02-14T23:49:27Z")
Mnne is costing $14.95 plus tax for the kit, and $50 for the filing. We divided up our stuff before I filed, and agree on custody. I moved out, just took a few things I wanted, and we sold the house and split the proceeds. We live in the same city and make about the same amount of money, so there wasn’t much to fight over. ---
**Author:** ![petcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5fc32e/32.png) [@petcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petcat)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/12 "2003-02-14T23:50:33Z")
Mine cost nothing for the actual divorce, she filed and sent the forms. She kept the few thou from the wedding. No lawyers were involved. I pay no alimony, which would be deductible, but plenty of voluntary child support, which isn’t. I got the vomiting cat. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/13 "2003-02-15T00:23:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by petcat \* > \*\*I got the vomiting cat. \*\* You might want to consult the Pet Psychic on this one. The cat is telling you something! Therapy may be the answer (the cat and/or you). Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![petcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5fc32e/32.png) [@petcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/petcat)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/14 "2003-02-15T00:55:23Z")
But **beckwall** that was eight years ago! And he’s STILL at it. Hmm, maybe he never got over the trauma. Hey, maybe me either…I’m still single… But at least he didn’t cost anything. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/15 "2003-02-15T01:03:27Z")
Well, nothing in court or attorney’s fees, but I, like **RealityChuck** , did pay her to buy out her share of equity in the house (she moved out). I don’t recall how much it was, but it was pretty substantial (we’d been living there for 6 years). Many thousands of dollars. Plus she took some of the furniture, although nothing I miss (except for one of the bookcases in my study). She got the dogs (although I have visiting rights), I got the cats. Eh. She wanted out. As it turned out, for a damn good reason. And that’s all I’m going to say on _that_ subject (except to say that she didn’t leave me for someone else). ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/16 "2003-02-15T01:38:47Z")
This is kind of interesting. Here I thought I was the only one in the U.S. who managed to avoid feeding an lawyer. Well, I’m glad for the company! And I agree with the general sentiment, emotional clarity and peace is priceless. My marriage/divorce counselor told me yesterday that she knew someone who paid $20,000. for his divorce. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/17 "2003-02-15T02:23:16Z")
The only thing more expensive than a woman is getting rid of a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/18 "2003-02-15T03:05:50Z")
Put it this way…the money the ex- and I spent on the divorce/custody battle would’ve funded my son’s college education. No shit. But, when I think of how much it’s worth to me to both have a son and have her out of my life…it’s a pittance. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/19 "2003-02-15T04:25:43Z")
$15,000 in legal fees 15,000 to keep my house A fair bit else here and there, but every cent was worth it just for the freedom. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059/20 "2003-02-15T06:00:17Z")
More than zero (now I’m envious! 🙂 ), not nearly as expensive as some others here. Outlay was increased by initially retaining just _barely_ too late to get a filing in first (the very morning I was going to shlep it to the office to sign off on my intended filing, a nice sheriff knocked on the door to serve papers. Grrr), and then having to retain again in another state. Monetary cost was absolutely nothing when measured against the emotional and stress cost, of course. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-divorce/155059.md?page=2)