# How much do you and your spouse/SO cuddle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 11, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372 "2012-09-11T03:44:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/1 "2012-09-11T03:44:08Z")
Now that I’ve been married for nearly a year and a half, I find that my wife and I spend a lot of time cuddling, so I got to wondering how much other couples cuddle. Note: For the purposes of this poll, cuddling is defined as lying in close contact, in bed, clothed or unclothed, in each other’s arms or spoonlike. Back to back in bed doesn’t count, nor does sitting close on a couch or sofa. I realize that cuddling may precede or follow sex, but this thread/poll is not specifically about sex. Do you cuddle a lot or a little? Regularly or only on occasion?How long do you cuddle at a time?Do either or both of you fall asleep cuddling? Tell us about your cuddling positions, techniques, etc. If you like, tell us about yourself and your partner: ages, married or not, how long together, how each of you feels about cuddling, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/2 "2012-09-11T03:49:36Z")
I cuddle a lot with any guy I’m seeing, even if we’re not in a relationship. It makes me feel better about being so cold in other ways ☹ Well, I don’t think I am really, but that’s what they say just because I don’t like kissing and romance and calling each other snookems and that kind of thing. But I do like cuddling. Cuddling “techniques”? Now you’re just taking it a little too far, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/3 "2012-09-11T03:52:17Z")
No editing of polls? Drat! Please read option one as twice a day or more. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/4 "2012-09-11T04:13:07Z")
Before going to sleep, quite often during sleep and when one or both of us wake in the middle of the night, in the morning when we wake up… So how do I count that? Is that three to eleventy six episodes of cuddling or just one extended one? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/5 "2012-09-11T04:18:26Z")
My boyfriend does not come from a demonstrative family, nor do I. I can be affectionate with people and enjoy it, but he is not comfortable with doing so. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/6 "2012-09-11T04:28:01Z")
At least once a day, I think. Not bad after 43 years together. Hope I don’t sound smug- I feel lucky. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/7 "2012-09-11T04:28:29Z")
So, by your definition, cuddling must take place in bed? In that case, probably once a month or so. My husband and I go to bed at very different times at night and aren’t generally in bed unless we’re sleeping or having sex. However, my husband and I do the same thing standing up or curled up on the couch at least once a day. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/8 "2012-09-11T05:18:16Z")
_2-3 times a month_ I’m just not a cuddler. I like my space. Plus **Suburban Plankton** is a living, breathing source of radiant heat. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/9 "2012-09-11T05:34:47Z")
If your definition of cuddle doesn’t include couch time ur doin’ it wrong. But to answer your question - I’m unattached so no cuddling going on around here. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/10 "2012-09-11T05:54:03Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > But to answer your question - I’m unattached so no cuddling going on around here. You could go to one of those [cuddle parties](http://www.cuddleparty.com/). Just kidding, that’s only if you’re a huge weirdo. Of the creepy variety. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/11 "2012-09-11T06:11:20Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > You could go to one of those [cuddle parties](http://www.cuddleparty.com/). Just kidding, that’s only if you’re a huge weirdo. Of the creepy variety. I may be a weirdo, but I’m not a _creepy_ weirdo. I’m ok being cuddle-free, but I occasionally miss it. Feeling a little nostalgic lately, even. My last (closest thing to an) opportunity was a month ago when I stayed a couple of nights out of town at a friend’s house. His wife had him on restriction though. [Long story] 😉 I think I’ll just forget I ever heard about cuddle parties. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/12 "2012-09-11T06:22:39Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > I may be a weirdo, but I’m not a _creepy_ weirdo. I’m ok being cuddle-free, but I occasionally miss it. Feeling a little nostalgic lately, even. > > My last (closest thing to an) opportunity was a month ago when I stayed a couple of nights out of town at a friend’s house. His wife had him on restriction though. [Long story] > > 😉 > > I think I’ll just forget I ever heard about cuddle parties. Yeah, I’m all for being a weirdo, but I draw the line at creepy. You can’t unknow about the cuddle parties! Some people need to discover the joy of hanging out with random dudes though. “Dating”, although I do that when it’s required, is too much pressure. Hanging out at home and watching stupid TV and cuddling is cool with me. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/13 "2012-09-11T06:24:43Z")
Not much. It’s not me, it’s not him. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/14 "2012-09-11T06:29:38Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Some people need to discover the joy of hanging out with random dudes though. “Dating”, although I do that when it’s required, is too much pressure. Hanging out at home and watching stupid TV and cuddling is cool with me. It’s like you’re my sister from another mister! I am in total agreement. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/15 "2012-09-11T06:47:14Z")
My girlfriend and I have been together for 17 years. We cuddle in the morning, evening and durring the day watching tv but usually only for a few minutes at a time. Evening time a bit longer if it is cool but when hot just some nice hugs and kisses then move over. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/16 "2012-09-11T06:47:41Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > It’s like you’re my sister from another mister! I am in total agreement. Haha! Sister from another mister, I did not know that one. Yeah, really the only reason I sometimes try to do things the “right” way is because that’s what you’re “supposed to” do. I like to go out sometimes but I’d rather do it once I’m already comfortable with the guy, or I’m not going to enjoy it anyway. And anything too fancy is too much pressure, period. I hate that these things are the norm, and so if you don’t require them then you’re allowing the man to disrespect you or something. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/17 "2012-09-11T23:46:43Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > So, by your definition, cuddling must take place in bed? In that case, probably once a month or so. My husband and I go to bed at very different times at night and aren’t generally in bed unless we’re sleeping or having sex. > > However, my husband and I do the same thing standing up or curled up on the couch at least once a day. I need to amend my response (the post directly above yours) to match yours. I guess I didn’t bother reading the OP very carefully. ---
**Author:** ![BTEzra04](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9f8e36/32.png) [@BTEzra04](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BTEzra04)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/18 "2012-09-12T00:33:42Z")
I said once a day, but I guess being awake and cuddling before and after bed technically counts as two, right? Either way, we do cuddle fairly often when we’re actually in the same place. I think it also depends on how ridiculously hot it is or isn’t wherever we are. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/19 "2012-09-12T12:57:57Z")
I dispute your definition of the situs of cuddling as being limited to bed only, so I voluntarily extend it to the couch as well. We spend very little awake time in bed together, and most of that involves having sex. That said, my wife and I cuddle about 3-4 times a week. While watching TV, she’ll scoot over and snuggle in next to me, and I’ll put my arm over her shoulder. Sometimes this leads to sex, sometimes it leads to her nodding off, and sometimes it leads to her getting a stiff neck and moving away after 20-30 minutes. We also have brief hug/cuddles a couple times a day- before I leave for work, when I get home from work, when the kids are out of the room for a moment and I can goose her ass or squeeze her boobs without an audience. We take advantage of these brief moments whenever we can get them. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/20 "2012-09-12T13:11:30Z")
Very happily single now, but I always hated cuddling. Annoying and distracting. Like, dammit woman, I’m busy. Not kidding, either. Oh, sure, you do certain things to keep them happy, but more an annoyance than anything else. In addition to being distracting, it seems kind of demeaning to both people involved. Like, what, a chick wants to be petted like a cat (yeah, I get the joke, but that’s not what I mean and you know it)? It just doesn’t seem adult to me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372.md?page=2)