# How much do you and your spouse/SO cuddle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 11, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372 "2012-09-11T03:44:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/21 "2012-09-12T13:18:13Z")
Oh, I’m not counting putting your arm around your friend, or leaning up against your friend/lover – more like the kind of petting and stroking and ensuring each part of the body is just as close as can be achieved short of ploughing. Some room to breathe is good. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/22 "2012-09-12T13:35:12Z")
Less than once a month. It was not always this way - we used to cuddle at least once a day. We used to hold hands a lot as well, and kiss each other for the heck of it. I guess some things go by the wayside during 18 years of marriage and raising kids. Yes, it is important to me, and yes, I miss it.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/23 "2012-09-12T13:45:16Z")
Our normal method of watching TV on the couch is a cuddle. In bed not as much. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/24 "2012-09-12T13:57:38Z")
Normally sleep spooned, usually cuddle for a while mornings and evenings while waking up or going to sleep, cuddle on the couch to watch tv unless there is no AC and it is hot and sticky. Neither of us likes being sweaty and sticky. And we used to hold hands when walking, now I use a wheelchair or crutches so we can’t do that any more =( ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/25 "2012-09-12T14:00:05Z")
Constantly. After 18 years together, we can’t keep our hands off each other. It’s not necessarily a sexual thing (thought there is that too!). We can hardly be in the same room without somebody putting their arms around the other. Whenever we’re on a couch or in bed she is on me. Neither of us has ever been that way with anybody else, but we’re so comfortable with each other that _not_ cuddling would be the exception. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/26 "2012-09-12T14:03:10Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > Less than once a month. It was not always this way - we used to cuddle at least once a day. We used to hold hands a lot as well, and kiss each other for the heck of it. I guess some things go by the wayside during 18 years of marriage and raising kids. > > Yes, it is important to me, and yes, I miss it.☹ Pretty much this, except we’ve only been married five years, and it was never that frequent to begin with. I do get to cuddle with my kid, though, which is nice. He’s a big cuddlebug. He loves to hug and be held and sit in my lap. It’ll be a bummer when he grows out of it. Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/27 "2012-09-12T16:12:30Z")
A question to those who.cuddle 2+ times a day per the OP’s definition…where do you find the.time? I’m not being snarky, just thinking that many people spend more time horizontal than I realized! ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/28 "2012-09-14T16:02:35Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > A question to those who.cuddle 2+ times a day per the OP’s definition…where do you find the.time? I’m not being snarky, just thinking that many people spend more time horizontal than I realized! My wife and I start and end pretty much every day cuddling, anywhere from a couple of minutes to 10 or 15. At least five after she hits “snooze” in the morning, and the same or more as she drifts off to sleep at night. (I usually stay up and read a little after she falls asleep.) ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/29 "2012-09-14T16:19:09Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > You could go to one of those [cuddle parties](http://www.cuddleparty.com/). Just kidding, that’s only if you’re a huge weirdo. Of the creepy variety. i’ve never gone to one of those organized things. i suppose creeps and weirdos could attend. maybe some might have differing amounts of control with attendees. it is sort of watered down bonobo activity. you can’t easily be on bad terms with those that you constantly cuddle (or in their case have sexual contact) with. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/30 "2012-09-14T16:52:15Z")
MrTao and I actually bought a CuddleSutra book back in our dating years. But we rarely cuddle, physically. We touch a lot, hug and shoulder rubs and kisses and all, but actual cuddling, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/31 "2012-09-14T16:56:31Z")
Basically every morning and night, and if we can, a bit in the afternoon. 14 years married - 3 kids. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/32 "2012-09-14T17:07:12Z")
We used to spoon when going to sleep (we’re weird, too–always with me on the outside. I hate being the inner part of a spoon) but ever since we got our Singapura cat Ozzy, he likes to sleep between us and that makes spooning difficult. He’s really stubborn and we like him, so we just got out of the habit. Sometimes we cuddle with Ozzy, though. He’s very snuggly. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/33 "2012-09-14T17:10:52Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > We used to spoon when going to sleep (we’re weird, too–always with me on the outside. I hate being the inner part of a spoon) but ever since we got our Singapura cat Ozzy, he likes to sleep between us and that makes spooning difficult. He’s really stubborn and we like him, so we just got out of the habit. Sometimes we cuddle with Ozzy, though. He’s very snuggly. 🙂 Ozzy ain’t no fool, that heat hog. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/34 "2012-09-14T17:52:00Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > Ozzy ain’t no fool, that heat hog. Quite true. We often say that Ozzy’s entire purpose in life is to keep his butt warm. He’ll sit on warm burners, in sinks after hot water’s been run…yeah, he’s no fool. Sorry for the hijack–back to cuddling! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/35 "2012-09-14T21:26:48Z")
> [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](#): > > If your definition of cuddle doesn’t include couch time ur doin’ it wrong. Seriously. We cuddle on the couch every day. Usually I put my head in his lap and he pets me, or rubs my feet. Yeah, I’m spoiled. Then we cuddle a little bit later in bed while we’re reading together. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/36 "2012-09-15T15:59:24Z")
Much to my dismay, never. We’re married/middle aged. My current spouse is not an affectionate person. Touching and cuddling are not present. Whereas, my prior spouse and I had an easy affectionate physicality. I do miss it. Yeah, sucks to be me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/37 "2012-09-15T21:04:35Z")
Pretty much whenever we see each other, especially if we spend the night together – this one is a real cuddle monster. Usually I have trouble falling asleep while cuddling but not with him. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/38 "2012-09-16T01:54:35Z")
_As often as possible._ Literally for hours on end every day and night. Can’t get enough of each other. 🙂 When we’re snuggling, all’s right with the world. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/39 "2012-09-17T02:27:24Z")
Why only in bed? I mean, when my GF’s here we cuddle morning and night, but are not usually in bed in between; still we’ll cuddle a lot of the time in-between - any time we can, basically. Even in my least cuddly relationships we’d cuddle when we went to bed and in the morning when we woke up, but that didn’t seem excessive at all and was basically just a facet of waking up or going to sleep with someone you love. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372/40 "2012-09-17T04:06:07Z")
I’m a very affectionate person. My SO and I hug often, and cuddle on the couch together when we can. Not nearly often enough, for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-do-you-and-your-spouse-so-cuddle/634372.md?page=3)