# How Much Does a Turd Weigh? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 5, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667 "2009-10-05T14:29:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/21 "2009-10-06T20:19:27Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > My brain went in a totally different direction as I read that. _blush_ Uh…yes…My phrasing is a bit, um, inelegant. ---
**Author:** ![hibernicus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hibernicus/32/2802_2.png) [@hibernicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hibernicus)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/22 "2009-10-06T22:22:09Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > 1-3 pounds on average. > > Weigh yourself. > > Take a duece. > > Weigh yourself. > > Not much more complicated than that. A measurement made by subtracting one big number from another big number to get a small number is likely to be completely useless, because the measurement uncertainty of the two “big” measurements is large compared to the quantity you are trying to measure. In this case, as another poster mentioned, you’re quite likely to get a negative result. If you want to know how much a turd weighs, you need to weigh it on a suitable scale. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/23 "2009-10-06T23:35:44Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > 349 grams is roughly 0.8 pounds, so an average of 1-3 pounds per deuce seems a bit high. Considering that crap is 75% water, and the remainder is mostly bacteria, if you had a 1 lb dump, it would have to have at least the volume of a 12 oz can of soda (a pint’s a pound the world around, you know). That’s a mighty formidable dump there… and 3 of those? Don’t make any plans! ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/24 "2009-10-07T00:23:20Z")
> [@hibernicus](#): > > A measurement made by subtracting one big number from another big number to get a small number is likely to be completely useless, because the measurement uncertainty of the two “big” measurements is large compared to the quantity you are trying to measure. In this case, as another poster mentioned, you’re quite likely to get a negative result. > > If you want to know how much a turd weighs, you need to weigh it on a suitable scale. Perhaps a suitable scale could be incorporated into the design of German toilets … ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/25 "2009-10-07T01:33:40Z")
Doesn’t it matter about the size of the person" I suppose a 400 pound guy could lay a bigger load than a midget. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@Brainiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/26 "2009-10-07T01:48:06Z")
The American Standard toilet company uses tofu hotdogs as the “buoyancy equivalent”. So now you can ask are yours 1/6 or 1/8 pounders? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Captain\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/27 "2009-10-07T13:10:27Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Doesn’t it matter about the size of the person" I suppose a 400 pound guy could lay a bigger load than a midget. Yes, mean daily stool weight is strongly correlated with body weight, gender (male \> female), age and dietary fibre. The Iranian study observed a 42.4 g increase for every +10 kg of body weight. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/28 "2009-10-07T13:33:38Z")
> [@Captain\_Awesome](#): > > Anyway a scientific study of 1000 Iranian individuals returned a mean stool weight of of 349±131 g, with a median of 320 g ([Hosseini-Asl and Hosseini 2000](http://www.ams.ac.ir/aim/0034/asl0034.html)). Western stools are somewhat smaller, typically 80-120 g/day. Allah Akbar! ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/29 "2009-10-07T15:46:02Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Allah Akbar! Ooh you are awful:D ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/30 "2009-10-07T15:55:10Z")
Many years ago, my wife bought a fancy bathroom scale with a spirit level and sliding balance. Having no real interest in my overall weight, I decided instead to see if it was accurate enough for the before and after type of measurments discussed above. A pretty darned butthole flexing dump would still weigh in at well under a pound. Can’t imagine a 3 pounder! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![troubledwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@troubledwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troubledwater)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/31 "2009-10-08T00:24:52Z")
There are some folks over [here](http://consumerist.com/5376474/airline-urges-passengers-to-leave-their-urine-behind) who are in need of a definitive answer to this. Probably safe for work, given that you are already in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/32 "2009-10-08T02:19:21Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Considering that crap is 75% water, and the remainder is mostly bacteria, if you had a 1 lb dump, it would have to have at least the volume of a 12 oz can of soda (a pint’s a pound the world around, you know). > > That’s a mighty formidable dump there… A 12 oz can of soda poop actually doesn’t seem all that big to me. Perhaps I just shit a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/33 "2009-10-08T03:47:05Z")
One turd weighs exactly turdy tree and a turd percent of da whole ting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stafford\_Cripps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stafford_cripps/32/7167_2.png) [@The\_Stafford\_Cripps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stafford_Cripps)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/34 "2009-10-08T18:25:12Z")
No, it’s a farty tree and two turds ratio. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/35 "2009-10-08T18:35:47Z")
Urine trouble if that’s the best you can come up with. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/36 "2009-10-08T18:51:28Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Allah Akbar! It’s a crap! ---
**Author:** ![Panicked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/22d042/32.png) [@Panicked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panicked)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/37 "2009-10-08T19:35:19Z")
Wasn’t this covered in that infamous south park episode, I believe 1 couric was the average. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/38 "2009-10-08T20:56:03Z")
A Couric is equal to 2.578 lbs. Randy Marsh cranked out a 100 Couric turd. ---
**Author:** ![Logical\_Phallacy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Logical\_Phallacy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logical_Phallacy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/39 "2009-10-09T02:15:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Philster** > Weigh yourself. > [@Bearflag70](#): > > :D:D 😃 ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667/40 "2009-10-09T03:02:57Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > 1-3 pounds on average. Have you ever been to Dallas? I’m thinking I saw your beautiful work in a toilet in Fry’s once. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-a-turd-weigh/512667.md?page=1)