# How much does poop weigh? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 5, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612 "2007-07-05T17:16:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/21 "2007-07-06T01:32:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Beware of Doug > The driver of Dave Matthews’ band bus discharged 800 pounds of poop on to the heads of a hapless group of tour boat passengers I had to look into this…. From [http://snunes.blogspot.com/2004\_08\_01\_archive.html](http://snunes.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_archive.html) > [@](#): > > the band was using five different tour buses in Chicago at that time and we provided the license plate numbers of all of them, we provided photographs of any of the buses they requested and we offered to\*\*\* supply DNA evidence to determine if one of our buses was the bus involved.\*\*\* I‘m at a loss for words… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/22 "2007-07-06T02:54:03Z")
No shit! Er, uh I mean… :smack: Even if the Dave Matthews entourage crapped like a pack of barnyard ungulates, one suspects the band bus waste tank did not actually contain 800 lb of pure dookie. More likely the contents were composed of…shall we say…exacta. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/23 "2007-07-06T02:58:06Z")
I wasn’t questioning the weight of the poop. I was wondering exactly how they went about testing a busses DNA. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/24 "2007-07-06T02:59:52Z")
…the busses DNA (sorry) ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/25 "2007-07-06T03:27:23Z")
Well, I hate to spoil the party, but… **regoarrarr** , welcome to The Boards, but I am afraid that you used the wrong door. This is the [Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/). The [Straight Poop](http://www.straight-poop.com/) is down the hall, first door on the left. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/26 "2007-07-06T03:53:03Z")
Black Rabbit-- I’m impressed by your dedication to science. Excellent statistics. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/27 "2007-07-06T06:37:45Z")
Thank God nobody has asked for pics ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/28 "2007-07-06T07:23:54Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Thank God nobody has asked for pics [/QUOTE] You laugh - but on Channel 4 last night during some real-life medical dreck (Embarrassing Medical Conditions) the doctor host collected stool samples from a bunch of students to determine their bowel condition. They were all sitting around a table with translucent tupperware containers while he comments on their crap - he even uses one container as a rattle to demonstrate a lack of fibre in the student diet. I know that Channel 4 is mostly shite, but I thought that this went a bit far. Then again, this is a show that has shown penile pimples in-situ on a previous show, so what can you say… Si ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2007, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/29 "2007-07-06T12:11:42Z")
[QUOTE=yabob] They don’t - read that more closely - the people figure is per day - the dog figure is per year. [/QUOTE] my bad. That makes more sense. That’s a lot of chihuahua weights ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/30 "2007-07-07T00:18:17Z")
[QUOTE=black rabbit] …my daily constitutional. [/QUOTE] Are you a Greaseman fan? He’s the only one I ever heard use that turn of phrase for that particular activity. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/31 "2007-07-07T02:39:41Z")
One of my great joys in life is trying to best my personal heftiest poop (I know, I know). This is going to get gross quickly, and I recommend hiding the children. I have gone to great lengths to try and increase the mass of my excretion. Iron and fiber are crucial, as they both serve to increase the density of the drop. Cheese is also good, as it has the notable effect of binding one’s bowels up, thereby allowing one to (pardon the phrase) stuff ten pounds of crap in a five-pound bag. The simplest course of action is also the most important: eat a lot and hold it in. This does result in a methodological flaw in my personal studies, however. Since the deuce is, at the time of the blow, so anxious to be free, it’s really rather impossible to take the time to urinate, weigh, and then defecate. As a result, I’m forced to weigh myself (very uncomfortably, but oh man there’s a good feeling coming) and then hit the pot. My personal record (remember, combined urine and fecal matter, having gone to great lengths to increase the total weight by specific eating habits and by drinking a load of Coke Zero – the caffeine acts as a diuretic and the liquid itself fills up the ol’ bladder) is, if I do say so myself, a rather impressive eight pounds. IANAD, but I’m sure that can’t be healthy. I haven’t tried this for a while, but if science calls… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/32 "2007-07-07T03:12:29Z")
_Eight pounds of shit?!!_ :eek: What was the volume? ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/33 "2007-07-07T03:18:49Z")
[QUOTE=CookingWithGas] Are you a Greaseman fan? He’s the only one I ever heard use that turn of phrase for that particular activity. [/QUOTE] My favorite is “major transaction.” [Chick McGee](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_McGee) has used it. Not sure if it originated with him, though. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/34 "2007-07-07T15:21:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Sunspace** > > Eight pounds of shit?!! > > What was the volume? While I don’t have a scientific measurement to provide, I can safely say that it’s the only time I’ve ever stood up, turned around, and frozen in slack-jawed awe. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612/35 "2007-07-07T16:44:16Z")
[QUOTE=Soul] While I don’t have a scientific measurement to provide, I can safely say that it’s the only time I’ve ever stood up, turned around, and frozen in slack-jawed awe. [/QUOTE] Why, why, why would you open your mouth in front of such a thing?! The smell wasn’t enough for you? Did you need to have all 5 senses involved? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-does-poop-weigh/410612.md?page=1)