How Much Extortion . . . I Mean, "Tip," for the Paper Delivery Guy?

handy, that’s fucking brilliant! I’m gonna do that this year!

Hmmmmmmm…wonder if I can adapt that ploy for my KIDS’ Christmas presents, as well…

Missy: Be careful about admitting to being an Old Style drinker around here.

First Chicago Dopefest:

Gaudere: sips Guinness Stout in a ladylike manner
UncleBeer: quaffs Labatt’s Blue with a manly swagger
Ukulele Ike Swigs from cans of Old Style, dripping on his necktie

Result:

Gaudere and UncleBeer now respected and powerful Straight Dope Moderators; Ukulele Ike still Regular Schlub

Shoulda kept my eye on that barkeeper…he was wearing a mortarboard and a bag with eyeholes over his head.