# How much honesty should there be in a marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2013, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-honesty-should-there-be-in-a-marriage/666781 "2013-08-21T07:29:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-honesty-should-there-be-in-a-marriage/666781/41 "2013-08-21T19:18:06Z")
> [@drunky smurf](#): > > btw complete and total honesty is the only way for a marriage to last. I’ve asked my parents and grandparents and other people i know who have been married for a long time what was the secret to staying together and they all say complete and total honesty. > > Btw you should just tell you wife what you are doing on the internet. Btw you need to be honest with each other so when you are looking at some hot and sexy man on man action just tell her because as a woman she will probably want to watch too and then you two can have a hobby to share and thus will grow closer to each other and learn to love each other more. iswydt 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-honesty-should-there-be-in-a-marriage/666781/42 "2013-08-21T22:13:38Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > I just thought I’d highlight this. You come across as having married her out of a combination of pity and the conviction that you couldn’t do any better. I always feel really sorry for her based on how you talk about her. No it has nothing to do with pity. BTW she regularly says things about how much she loves me (and aspects of me) - sometimes saying I’m her favorite out of all of the relationships she’s had. My point is she seems to be happy with me so no need to feel sorry for her. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-honesty-should-there-be-in-a-marriage/666781/43 "2013-08-21T22:16:42Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > BTW complete and total honesty is the only way for a marriage to last. I’ve asked my parents and grandparents and other people I know who have been married for a long time what was the secret to staying together and they all say complete and total honesty. So that “fact” is based on one example? BTW I put more faith into the marriage researcher John Gottman. One of his ideas is that there should be a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions - this is correlated with happy lasting marriages. He doesn’t think complete and total honesty is the only way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-honesty-should-there-be-in-a-marriage/666781.md?page=2)