# How much money do you have? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331 "2000-03-03T21:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/1 "2000-03-03T21:34:00Z")
I have 1.2 million how much do all of you have? ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/2 "2000-03-03T21:37:00Z")
I’m surprised you can count that high. * * * When all else fails, ask Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/3 "2000-03-03T21:37:00Z")
Sounds like a shitload of Monopoly sets, troll. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/4 "2000-03-03T21:38:00Z")
Lessee, I’ve got $2.00 in my wallet, two quarters and a fuzzy breath mint in my left pocket. The rest is all tied up in real estate and the stock market. * * * The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/5 "2000-03-03T21:43:00Z")
Yeah, I got a lot in the stock market too, my portifolio is up 145% since last September, I only invest in tech, they’re caged from inflation, and everyone is consolidating into them. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/6 "2000-03-03T21:45:00Z")
Dang, Delta, you have $2.00? I am completely tapped out. My wallet is completely devoid of any money. But in the bank and in the stock market, I have about 10 billion. If my stock continues to rise this year, I may surpass Bill Gates. Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/7 "2000-03-03T21:47:00Z")
I dunno, let me check the couch cushions when I get home. What a stupid fuckin’ question. Who gives a good goddamn how much fucking money you have? Get lost. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/8 "2000-03-03T21:48:00Z")
That’s all I can take. First, it’s the big dick. Now, it’s the big wallet. Sell the stocks, and buy a life. Get over your damn self. Putz. (thanks Wally.) * * * Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/9 "2000-03-03T21:49:00Z")
HEY!, no question is a stupid question! ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/10 "2000-03-03T21:52:00Z")
Actually I lied. I only have a dollar. And the bit about stocks and real eastate was all bullshit. I just wanted to be like Mike. ::runs home, sobbing:: * * * The odds that the bread will fall butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. ---
**Author:** ![melanietarrant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@melanietarrant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melanietarrant)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/11 "2000-03-03T21:52:00Z")
yes, michael is one of those 21 year old construction worker millionares that we hear about all the time ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/12 "2000-03-03T21:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Michael Masterson: > **HEY!, no question is a stupid question!** That is true, there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people who ask questions. * * * Sometimes you feel like a coconut, sometime you feel like a yak. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/13 "2000-03-03T21:56:00Z")
I do construction(to stay in shape). I don’t need the money. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/14 "2000-03-03T21:56:00Z")
Love the name Dread Pirate…and from one of my favorite movies too. Welcome to the board! * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/15 "2000-03-03T21:56:00Z")
That’s where you’re wrong, Mikey. Here’s a whole fucking list of stupid questions. Feel free to use these on some other message board after your ass is kicked off this one. You’re sure to win many new friends. Why do we need a hot water heater? If it’s hot it doesn’t need to be heated. How can we have jumbo shrimp? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why do our noses run and our feet smell? Why does quicksand work slowly? Why are boxing rings square? Why, when lights are out, they are invisible, but when the stars are out, they are visible? Why do we call them apartments when they are all together? If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses? Why does Denny’s have locks on the door if it’s open 24 hours? Why do ships carry cargoes and cars carry shipments? When will a building actually become a built? If it’s tourist season why can’t we shoot them? When companies ship styrofoam what do they pack it in? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? When it rains why don’t sheep shrink? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? What is another word for thesaurus? Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives? What was the best thing before sliced bread?’ If the cops arrest a mime do they tell her she has the right to remain silent? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest will it make a sound? If the funeral procession is at night do folks drive with their headlights off? Why do they sterilize the needles for a lethal injection? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? There are three words in the english language ending with -gry. They are angry, hungry, and what is the third one? Why do we park on driveways and drive in parkways? What did Barney Rubble, from the Flintstones, do for a living? If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?” Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/16 "2000-03-03T21:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > **HEY!, no question is a stupid question!** You’ve proven that to be wrong with every thread you’ve started so far. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/17 "2000-03-03T21:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Michael Masterson: > **I do construction(to stay in shape). I don’t need the money.** Why not just join a freakin’ gym? * * * Sometimes you feel like a coconut, sometime you feel like a yak. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Masterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@Michael\_Masterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Masterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/18 "2000-03-03T22:02:00Z")
I go to the gym too, I live next to a health club. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/19 "2000-03-03T22:04:00Z")
My bad. I forgot to actually answer the OP. Let’s see…$3.12, and a used crack pipe. I smoke crack to lose weight. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331/20 "2000-03-03T22:07:00Z")
Seale… you wanna sell your pipe? * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-do-you-have/14331.md?page=2)