# How much money have you burned on a girlfriend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2020, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093 "2020-05-04T00:53:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/1 "2020-05-04T00:53:57Z")
Just curious here for all the guys who have had girlfriends in your life, how much money would you say you have spent / burned on a girlfriend (who didn’t eventually become your wife because that’s a different…in that case, you could call it a good investment). One of my best buddies was in a serious relationship with his gf for 4 years and he had spent a lot of time and money on her because he was seriously in it for the long haul (meaning, he wanted to marry her). But she dumped him and he was crushed. Then after the feelings of hurt settled in, then other negative things start creeping in like how much money you spent on her and I never asked him how much but I’d guess to keep a girlfriend happy, it could cost anywhere between $3 grand to $10 grand a year (this includes paying for her meals, gas money for all the places you drive to, venues/tickets/shows, gifts (bday, christmas, valentines, anniversary, other misc.), shopping (buying stuff for her) etc. Share your expenses and stories please! ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/2 "2020-05-04T00:55:33Z")
This OP is sexist and gross. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/3 "2020-05-04T00:57:34Z")
> [@cornflakes2](#): > > One of my best buddies was in a serious relationship with his gf for 4 years and he had spent a lot of time and money on her because he was seriously in it for the long haul (meaning, he wanted to marry her). But she dumped him and he was crushed. Then after the feelings of hurt settled in, then other negative things start creeping in like how much money you spent on her and I never asked him how much but I’d guess to keep a girlfriend happy, it could cost anywhere between $3 grand to $10 grand a year (this includes paying for her meals, gas money for all the places you drive to, venues/tickets/shows, gifts (bday, christmas, valentines, anniversary, other misc.), shopping (buying stuff for her) Did HE not go to the same shows, restaurants, and venues? ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/4 "2020-05-04T01:09:32Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Did HE not go to the same shows, restaurants, and venues? Yes, of course he’s included in all the same activities, but the point is, you’re most likely doing something you wouldn’t otherwise have done so buying a ticket for yourself and for her is still included in the total. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/5 "2020-05-04T01:11:35Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > This OP is sexist and gross. Grow up. I’m asking a question and you are turning it into a personal attack? Who is the one that needs to grow up here? Learn some manners. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/6 "2020-05-04T02:11:07Z")
Very little because back when I had GFs I was usually near broke. How much they burned on ME is another matter. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/7 "2020-05-04T02:18:00Z")
Every girl I ever dated knew that if she wasn’t a cheap date, she wasn’t going anywhere. My most famous was the one I took to a Chinese restaurant and ordered one entree and a second bowl of steamed rice. She married me. Once I took a girl out and went to the Porsche dealer and test-drove a car. Didn’t even pay for the gas. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/8 "2020-05-04T02:22:42Z")
I had a long-distance girlfriend in San Francisco while I lived in Texas. Over the course of the relationship, the cost of visiting her and whatnot still wasn’t all that much. Only added up to a couple thousand dollars, all expenses tallied, in total, at most. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/9 "2020-05-04T02:27:44Z")
> [@cornflakes2](#): > > Yes, of course he’s included in all the same activities, but the point is, you’re most likely doing something you wouldn’t otherwise have done so buying a ticket for yourself and for her is still included in the total. Why in the world would you assume he’s doing something he otherwise wouldn’t have done? Do unattached men never go to restaurants or events that require tickets? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/10 "2020-05-04T02:41:30Z")
I don’t know that I’ve spend more money on my girlfriends than they have spent on me. I have tended to spend more when I was the more gainfully employed but I have also tended to date women older than me, and better financially established… let’s see… ongoing adult relationships… who carried whom financially… KF (high school) probably me SD (21+ y.o.) definitely her JM (27 y.o.) her by a small margin DF (28+ y.o.) her by a small margin MS (34+ y.o.) equal JS (37+ y.o.) equal DH (40+ y.o.) definitely me A3 (50+ y.o.) equal A2 (likewise) me by a small margin A1 (likewise) definitely her ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/11 "2020-05-04T02:57:44Z")
If we’re not counting wives, that basically deletes half my dating life. So all my girlfriends were during high school and college. I pretty much only paid for gas, meals, and movie tickets. That ain’t a whole lot. Maybe $1,000 per year? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/12 "2020-05-04T03:22:48Z")
OP, your friend sounds like someone still going through breakup pain, and it comes through in ridiculously selfish/stupid ways like how much he spent on the relationship. If she took him for a ride or whatever, that’s his call, but I’d bet that he was in a what he thought was a great relationship and loved showing his lady a good time. Saying he “burnt” that money is butthurt nonsense and he’s lost perspective. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/13 "2020-05-04T03:28:16Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > Why in the world would you assume he’s doing something he otherwise wouldn’t have done? Do unattached men never go to restaurants or events that require tickets? Even if these were things he wouldn’t do solo, did he not enjoy the time with her? Was it always annoying to be with her? If so, why did he want to marry her? ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/14 "2020-05-04T04:33:41Z")
‘Burned’ has a very negative connotation. I don’t think genders really matter here. I’ve met the rare guy that was only interested in me if we were going to a nice restaurant, getting expensive cocktails or attending an event which costs $$$ They’re easy to spot quickly and get dumped accordingly. There was an income inequality with the last guy I dated. But I never felt I ‘burned’ a penny of it. We were happy getting coffees and then going on a walk together. Or go to the Art Institute (I’m a member so it’s free) and then maybe get ice cream or something. If we got drinks, it was most likely at a dive bar rather than a $20 a cocktail place. No regrets at all. I don’t think of it as an economic transaction. I do agree that there probably should be talks about where things are going if you’re dating for over a year or so. But someone thinking of money spent vs outcome is interesting from an economic perspective but hardly the foundation of a strong relationship. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/15 "2020-05-04T05:08:59Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > ‘Burned’ has a very negative connotation. I don’t think genders really matter here. I’ve met the rare guy that was only interested in me if we were going to a nice restaurant, getting expensive cocktails or attending an event which costs $$$ They’re easy to spot quickly and get dumped accordingly. > > There was an income inequality with the last guy I dated. But I never felt I ‘burned’ a penny of it. We were happy getting coffees and then going on a walk together. Or go to the Art Institute (I’m a member so it’s free) and then maybe get ice cream or something. If we got drinks, it was most likely at a dive bar rather than a $20 a cocktail place. > > No regrets at all. I don’t think of it as an economic transaction. I do agree that there probably should be talks about where things are going if you’re dating for over a year or so. But someone thinking of money spent vs outcome is interesting from an economic perspective but hardly the foundation of a strong relationship. Wow, interesting perspective. So there have been guys who would date you only for the expensive restaurant or show? Sounds like male gold diggers haha. You must be doing very well for yourself and these men seem to know it. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/16 "2020-05-04T05:13:10Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > OP, your friend sounds like someone still going through breakup pain, and it comes through in ridiculously selfish/stupid ways like how much he spent on the relationship. If she took him for a ride or whatever, that’s his call, but I’d bet that he was in a what he thought was a great relationship and loved showing his lady a good time. Saying he “burnt” that money is butthurt nonsense and he’s lost perspective. I disagree. I think some people know they are getting in a relationship only for the thrill, experience, good times, ‘hold over’ etc. Most people are not in relationships thinking I’m going in for the long haul. My friend was truly in love and he thought she was too. I mean when you’ve been with someone for that long, who wouldn’t think so? Calling him selfish is completely inaccurate. He’s the one that actually would drive her to university and her home every weekend (3-4 hour trip one way) among many other things he did for her. How is he selfish? I guess she could have been honest with him upfront and told him she was never going to marry him. So yeah, after all those years of everything he gave her (his time, money, heart, life) and then to be dropped like that when it was convenient for her (after she graduated and got a job), I can understand him why he was so full of pain. It sucked but that is part of the game…you win some and you lose some. Love hurts. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/17 "2020-05-04T05:15:44Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > If we’re not counting wives, that basically deletes half my dating life. So all my girlfriends were during high school and college. I pretty much only paid for gas, meals, and movie tickets. That ain’t a whole lot. Maybe $1,000 per year? haha, how many wives have you had? Ohhh that’s a whole other conversation. Wives cost more than girlfriends! But wives are an investment! It’s a good thing. Girlfriends are more like renting a home…money just going out and you’ll never see any returns. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/18 "2020-05-04T05:18:09Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I don’t know that I’ve spend more money on my girlfriends than they have spent on me. I have tended to spend more when I was the more gainfully employed but I have also tended to date women older than me, and > > better financially established… let’s see… ongoing adult relationships… who carried whom financially… > > KF (high school) probably me > SD (21+ y.o.) definitely her > JM (27 y.o.) her by a small margin > DF (28+ y.o.) her by a small margin > MS (34+ y.o.) equal > JS (37+ y.o.) equal > DH (40+ y.o.) definitely me > A3 (50+ y.o.) equal > A2 (likewise) me by a small margin > A1 (likewise) definitely her amazing! thanks for sharing ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/19 "2020-05-04T05:24:24Z")
Just the other day I was watching the movie “The Tourist” again (Depp, Jolie). The police wanted to catch Pearce and recover the 744 million pounds which would be the pay off for catching him, but they had already spent 8 million in the process and so far came up empty handed. The question for them was, is it worth it for them to keep “burning” more money into this pursuit in hopes they can catch him and recover their money and then some? Think about it. Your palms would get sweaty if it was your own money and you were already in 10 mil, 45 mi, 120 mil, and the likely prospect that you’d never catch him and be out hundreds of millions of dollars. You’d be done. It’s kind of like that. If you’ve only put $10 in a girl, and she doesn’t end up loving you or becoming your life long partner, fine…no big deal, not much sacrificed, not much lost. The stakes get higher the deeper you go (unless you have endless amounts of wealth and you also live as long as a vampire). ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/53a042/32.png) [@cornflakes2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes2)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093/20 "2020-05-04T05:37:00Z")
One more thing to think about that I’d like to add. If the amount of money spent/ burned doesn’t really matter to you, then what about when it comes to buying a diamond ring for your loved one? I personally don’t care or value our love in how expensive the rings are. I would like to believe you can still love someone truly and not have to spend 5k or 10k on diamond rings to prove it or be called cheap. But we live in a world where most people will judge you on your investment. They would expect you to spend a few grand on a high quality diamond ring rather than a dollar general toy ring. If a man decides he’s not going to spend thousands on wedding rings, does that mean he’s not really in love with you or that his love isn’t that true or genuine or confident? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-money-have-you-burned-on-a-girlfriend/853093.md?page=2)