# How much sexual experience is TOO much, for a prospective partner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2006, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147 "2006-07-19T09:45:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/41 "2006-07-20T01:19:18Z")
**Lissa** , it’s nice that you and your husband are on the same page about these things. You clearly have a wonderful relationship, and your fascination with him is evident from your frequent mentions of him. But some people prefer to keep a little bit of themselves \*for \* themselves. I can’t emphasize enough that there’s a profound difference between \*hiding \* things and merely not feeling obliged to share every detail of one’s life, sexual or otherwise. Intimacy doesn’t require a Vulcan mind meld. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/42 "2006-07-20T01:48:27Z")
I will give an alternate view. I don’t prefer to go the Pretty Woman route and I would set something like a limit of 5 max regardless of time and I would prefer someone to come in lower than that. The type of lifestyle and beliefs that would allow a woman to rack up 10 or more partners let alone 50 would immediately turn me off completely for any love interest. This is just a preference for that type of relationship and I have had pretty much full blown whores as close friends. I can’t see any moderately high number being compatible with what I would want in a long-term relationship. Luckily I am married and don’t have to worry about that but if that but it would be a real issue if I was single. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/43 "2006-07-20T03:56:53Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] I know nothing of numerology, by the way. [/quote] It was a joke, dear. 🙂 > [@](#): > > In a relationship with good communication, you shouldn’t have to ask. It should be something that’s gradually shared as you get to know the person and tell them about your life. I don’t believe I ever sat Hubby down and said, “How many people have you fucked?” It was something that we discussed as we were getting to know one another and came out in various contexts. This I don’t disagree with. My problem is with the idea of more or less auditioning a date and finding out their romantic history before you decide to start a relationship. I expect in a marriage, most of both partners’ past would come up at some point. It’d be creepy otherwise, wouldn’t it? I’m just bothered by the idea of starting off with all that stuff at the beginning of a relationship to see if your partner is used goods. ---
**Author:** ![i\_am\_flash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/87869e/32.png) [@i\_am\_flash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/i_am_flash)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/44 "2006-07-20T19:55:07Z")
I think that given the situation, i don’t think i would have asked. But in the same situation, if i’d asked and it had been a huge number, i think i’d be somewhat suprised, but more flattered. I mean, if some girl had slept with lots of guys, but now we were entering a monogamous relationship and i trusted her not to cheat, then it seems to me she thought i was worth staying with. I’d be fine as long as she didn’t bring up/compare me to her past lovers. That’s thinking ahead, though. Right now, At the age of 17, i think i’d approach it a little differently. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/45 "2006-07-20T20:30:48Z")
I’m not so much concerned with the overall number as the timing. Her most recent sexual experience must have been over at least thirty minutes before we begin dating. ---
**Author:** ![Draax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Draax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draax)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/46 "2006-07-20T21:27:25Z")
I’ve always used the following analogy to sum up my feelings on the subject: “An experienced woman is like a warm toilet seat: It feels fantastic as long as you don’t think too much about whatever dude’s sweaty ass was there before yours. But make sure it’s clean.” That’s pretty much it, for me. The more partners, the more practice. The more practice, the more skill. Craftsmanship in the bedroom is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147/47 "2006-07-21T01:19:35Z")
A charming metaphor, **Draax**. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-sexual-experience-is-too-much-for-a-prospective-partner/365147.md?page=2)