Good point. Right now it’s our safety deposit box tied to our joint account and everything is left to each other, but when there is only one of us left we’ll have to rethink it. We keep almost everything in joint savings and a fairly small amount in individual accounts so that we don’t have a lot of complications. We’ve both had a vague next of kin idea about what happens after that but we’d probably leave whatever is left to charity or something.
We have too much junk as well. We’ve been getting rid of stuff. I finally brought myself to get rid of a bunch of book. We took four bags of books to the library donation. I would like to get myself down to one bookshelf.
I am coming around to the philosophy of if I need one, I can buy it. My wife is a bit more attached to things.
We had a child and with his things, we don’t have as much room as before, so I think we really need to prune things away.
I remember now what was the turning point in my outlook on accumulating stuff…
My mom’s sister was being evicted from her trailer (park was closing down) so the whole family had to pitch in to move her. She was a bit of a hoarder - not one of those cases you see on TV but she had more than enough “junk” for one single woman - and it absolutely killed my mom to have to pick through all of that stuff and move it. It made her cry to see the mess her sister was living in.
Not too long after, the sister died and we had to go clean out her apartment. The same place that had been “de-junked” and set up properly not more than a year before was already packed with new junk, as well as cat waste and bugs.
Anyway, since going through all this, my mom has adopted the mantra “I don’t want you to have to pick through a bunch of junk when I die” and has eliminated almost all clutter from her life. This event did coincide with dad making more money at work, so the “I can always replace it” attitude also applied.
But, since I was also there to help clean up after my aunt, and have helped many people move while thinking to myself “I can’t believe this jackass has so much crap!” it has just reinforced my feelings about “stuff.” I don’t want to be remembered or thought of that way, either.
Most of my stuff is stuff I need; not stuff I want. I rarely buy anything frivolous. I have some people close to me who buy stuff just to buy it. I’m not that guy. I have nothing against buying cute clothes, but I don’t need dozens of any one item in order to feel like my cute stuff needs have been met. I generally rotate 3 or 4 pairs of jeans, maybe 10 tops, and maybe 10 pair of shoes…for decades, usually.
When we buy stuff, we usually buy good stuff so we don’t have to re-buy a short time down the road. I like a couple good Calphalon pans. I could get cheaper ones at Walmart, but it doesn’t pay off in the long run.
We have a houseful of stuff. Fortunately, it’s small house. But (other than some of the more highly specialized reference books) it’s all stuff we use at least once a year, or cannot simply be replaced with money. The house is full enough that anything bigger than a breadbox we consider buying has the question “where will this object be stored?” attached. That said, I do need to go through the closets and send the clothes we’re not wearing to be recycled, and probably do a similar hunt through the kitchen cupboards.
I have way too much stuff, partially because I don’t have time to winnow stuff out and get rid of it effectively. Every so often I give away clothes I’m not likely to wear (though I don’t have an excess) and when we cleaned out our garage I gave away lots of puzzles I’ve finished. But the bulk of my books make up a collection which is reasonably valuable and complete. We also have a lot of antique furniture, some of which has been in my wife’s family for over 200 years, so that stuff is going to our kids. When we got married my father in law made me promise to take the stuff - not an issue since most of it is lovely, and far nicer than anything we can get today.
We had a ton of games from when my wife was a toy reviewer, and managed to give most of them away to the gifted kids group I was involved with, which uses them for a game night every year.
My biggest problem is a fantasy that I’ll ever get to use a lot of this stuff. While there is hope, I keep it.
I like having stuff. It’s kind of a liability because I am supposed to be able to relocate easily. In fact, two years ago I thought I was going to have to move so I stripped my apartment and sold a ton of stuff at a local flea market. Then I didn’t move and now I have a nice clean apartment. I am trying to keep it that way but I love antiquing and junk collecting.
So, I like having stuff, and I feel I need stuff, but it’s probably not in my best interest. I’ve been pretty good for the last couple of years and hopefully I can continue to curb my desire to buy crap.